To everyone that knew me and to those who didn't,
this is my last will and testament.
I have no personal possessions worth giving,
only my thoughts
and my recollections I hand to you.
Sometimes in death, breath is drawn to new life,
and a spirit dies to be reborn.
Today is the day of my namesake's reckoning,
and one day, we'll dine in Valhalla with Odin.
We will again be one as family,
the way it was intended to be.
Your son, brother, and acquaintance,
Magnus Burwood.
May we all become Vikings after I am gone.
See you in Valhalla.
All right. I'll see you tomorrow.
Next up, a bizarre story
involving a meth distributor and a Viking.
We now take you on the scene with James Warner.
James?
Thank you, Rick.
We are here at the home of Carlos Ruiz,
an apparent crystal methamphetamine distributor,
whose home contained over 12 pounds
of pure crystallized methamphetamine,
according to police.
Last night, 26-year-old Maxwell Burwood
dressed as a Viking and broke into Ruiz's home.
Burwood was then shot and killed
during the altercation.
Ruiz, now in police custody,
says that Burwood was high on crystal meth
and tried to attack him with a sword.
A neighbor close by reported hearing Burwood
screaming vengeance for his deceased girlfriend,
Jamie Tanner, who was said to have overdosed
inside Ruiz's home only weeks earlier.
Maxwell was also known by his Nordic name
Magnus MacTanner
at an alternative drug rehabili - tation center in Iceland.
This story has garnered a cult following
of local bloggers and comic book aficionados
similar to Burwood.
Oh, my God.
They gather outside the Burwood home
hoping for more information.
Mm.
Hey, Jo.
Oh, shit. Pete, I totally forgot.
Oh, no. That's totally cool.
I mean, if you're busy or something,
I can come back another time.
It's... No.
It's just, uh... Just come in.
There was this news story.
I got you flowers. I hope you like daisies.
I went for roses, but then she said it'd be way too serious,
and then carnations came up,
but she said daisies were, like,
really in right now.
I'm sorry I'm early.
I just thought, you know,
we could hang out a little bit before if you want.
Hey, you want a drink?
No. That's... That's cool.
It kinda makes me a little crazy.
Oh, what about the other night?
That was just...
I kinda needed to work up the courage
to sorta do, you know, what we...
did.
...had a big problem in this neighborhood,
so, you know, it's really sad
that somebody died,
but it's kinda great that something
is being done about it. Maybe...
So do you want to go get some food?
Because if not, it's totally fine.
I can...
Um, no, I just... It's...
No, you know what?
It's... It's fine.
I... I think I'm gonna go.
You know that Viking guy?
Yeah. What about him?
He's my brother.
Really?
Yeah.
I am so sorry, Jo.
I... I don't even know what to say.
I need to go home.
I need to go home, right?
That's what you do after someone dies.
I mean, yeah.
I can't believe I have to deal with these people.
Who? Oh, my family.
Do you not like them?
I-It's very complicated.
Do you not have anybody to go with you?
'Cause I'll totally go with you if you want.
No. That's really, really, sweet of you, but I just
I can just go home and pack a bag,
and we can leave first thing in the morning.
Not a good idea.
Jo, listen to me.
You just lost somebody.
Right now, you definitely shoul d not be by yourself.
Oh, my God.
Car. Car. Excuse me.
Right here?
Excuse me. What's your name?
Are you part of the Burwood family?
Are you an ex-lover of the Viking murderer?
Sir? Excuse me. Excuse me.
Pete!
No comment?
Hello?
As you inhale,
I want you to be one with the Earth.
Drop your petals to the ground...
and feel their energy lift you up.
Exhale.
Hi, Dad.
Jo?
Is that you?
It's me.
Johana. Oh.
Ah, cool. Who's this?
I've never seen this person before in my life.
I'm Faye.
But what's in a name, right?
I... I don't know.
Faye's my nurse.
She helps out around here.
She used to deliver my groceries.
I came by one day, and I said, "Do you
need help, man?"
He was super stoked about it.
Oh.
Hey, Johana,
did those yuppies out there bother you?
Uh, yuppies? No.
We hardly noticed. No. That's...
Okay.
You know, Faye's the best.
Our meditation sessions have guided me through
this whole process.
Those people out there, I block 'em out merely
with the power of my mind.
You're like a monk.
Who're you?
This is Pete.
We're dating.
I... I noticed that you, um, are
using a cane now.
Why is... Oh, yeah.
What can I say?
My... My legs are getting old.
Oh!
Medication time. Ah.
And what's in the, uh, container?
Oh, this is a spirit concoction
with a wheatgrass base.
Nice.
Yum. Delicious.
Oh, Jo.
There's something I want to show you.
Ta-da.
You saved that? God.
I painted that when I was like, 10.
It's my favorite. We saved 'em all.
So good.
Okay, can you just please
hide that while I'm here?
What? Why?
Can I have this?
Dad, please. I'm asking you.
All right.
Whatever makes my little girl happy.
Okay. So, um, are we the first ones here?
Oh, no. Barry's around here somewhere.
He brought a little friend, too.
He is so beautiful.
Way off.
Is that Barry?
I actually have no idea who that is.
Hello.
Hello? Hey, Jo-blo!
Oh, my God. Barry?
Hey.
Wow. You are so skinny.
Yeah. Hey, I'm Pete.
It's so nice to meet you.
Hi, Pete. 40 pounds in the last year. Can you believe it?
Jesus. Were you, like,
really fat before or something?
Ugh, the fattest. You gotta see this.
You carry around a picture?
Always, to remind me how fat I was.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Wow. Yeah.
Congratulations, man.
Thank you. I guess that's one of the benefits
of having a live-in trainer.
Guys, this is Makewi, my beau.
Hi. Oh, yeah.
Hi. I'm Peter.
I'm Jo's beau. "Joe's beau."
Must be a poet, 'cause that rhymed.
Okay, easy, tiger. What?
Barry's gay, by the way.
I kind of figured that out.
Well, let's just throw a parade in my honor.
Let's do it!
Sorry. So, Makewi.
Mm.
What kind of name is Makewi?
It's Hawaiian, means Matthew.
How exotic. Isn't it?
Yeah.
Have you guys seen Dad and his nurse?
Yeah. That was very weird.
Yeah. Has Don showed up yet?
No. Ugh.
So, haole Pete,
how are you with a bow?
Ooh, yeah. Good idea.
Why don't you guys go play Robin Hood
while the adults catch up?
No, no. The sarcasm was directed at Kiwi.
I can be a bit of a bitch sometimes.
Yes, you can.
Want a beer?
Yes, please.
That'd be wonderful.
Uh-huh. With your right.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Grab an arrow. Okay.
There you go.
So, uh, did Magilly bring his own haystacks?
Makewi. Oh.
I brought the hay.
Why?
Therapy.
He used to be addicted to OxyContin.
But since taking up archery, he stopped and now
only smokes weed.
And eats peyote and mushrooms
every now and again.
But, you know, if it's from the ground, I guess it's okay,
right?
Wow, you sound like a really good doctor, Barry.
I pick my battles.
And the, uh... The bows and arrows?
I told him to pick up a hobby,
so there it is.
Hmm. I was going on the theory
that idle hands are the devil's playthings.
You know, that, and he wanted to pick up a skill
that would prepare him for the zombie apocalypse.
Oh, well, you know, that makes perfect sense.
I don't date Kiwi for his brains.
That's funny. More.
So I guess psychology is really working out for you.
Like that. Yeah.
Makewi was my first patient.
Free sessions for free workouts.
Free sex for the both of us.
Ugh. Gross.
So what's the story with this guy?
We met in my building, been han ging out for a little bit.
He's a nice enough guy.
It's good you're finally dating again.
What do you mean finally?
Let's not pretend we don't stalk each other
on Facebook once in awhile.
Wow. Analyzing me through Facebook.
Is this some new therapy tactic that
I'm unaware of, or...
Whoa! Don't get so defensive, okay?
We barely talk.
I haven't seen you in forever, and, look,
I'm just... I'm doing the best I can
to avoid the fact that Max is dead, okay?
Consider it small talk.
Yes. This is a very fucked-up situation,
but do not dodge the fact that you didn't
call me either.
I was kind of busy getting my doctorate.
It's not like you were waiting by the phone.
Oh please You're a psychologist You're barely a doctor.
How does that even make sense?
I was just saying I'm glad you found a guy, you know?
When did this become a fight?
You know, I moved away because I didn't want
to talk about my past to anybody.
And I do not post my love life on the Internet.
Okay. Well, now we're here,
and maybe, you know, somebody's gonna ask you
what you've been up to,
because they haven't seen you in a while. I'm sorry.
Let's just pretend that we're here for our brother's funeral
and not talk about my personal life.
Please?
Fine. I won't bring it up.
Feel my base. See that?
That's... That's a strong base.
See what I'm saying? Yeah.
Put your arms around.
God, I hate that smell.
So do bad spirits.
Hello?
Hi. Can we help you?
No, I got this.
Are you baby Ashley?
Hi, Grandpa.
Yes, Dad.
That's your granddaughter.
Heh heh heh. Come here.
Look at you.
You're so beautiful.
Heh. Thanks.
I'm sorry. I gotta sit down.
Yes. Time flies when you never see each other.
Time goes slow when your family
doesn't come to see you.
What are you doing?
Your hair is so beautiful.
Um, Dad?
Yeah. Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Uh, who are you?
I'm Faye.
She's my nurse.
So, anyone else here yet?
You're the last.
Where's your wife?
Did she think the death of a family member
wasn't important enough?
She doesn't think it's important to mourn
or celebrate suicide.
Magnus did not kill himself.
All right, relax, kiddo.
He's with the spirits now.
Okay? He's in a much better place.
Okay.
And who are you
in relation to any of this?
I'm Faye! Your father's nurse.
All right, you know, Faye is someone who knows more
about what was going on here than you, pal.
Oh, yeah? How's that work?
Magnus died here.
Where?
He was living here.
Ugh!
How long are these people
gonna be surrounding the house?
I could really use a StarBees right about now.
Don.
Hey, you're here.
Little Ash. Hi, Uncle Barry.
You're all grown up.
It's Ashley. Ashley.
Hey, guys!
Hey.
Well, you look healthy.
Yeah, yeah.
Lost some weight. Feeling good.
Thanks to this guy.
This is my boyfriend Makewi.
M-Makoowi?
Makewi. Ah.
Is that a skirt?
Oh, my God.
Baby Ashley.
This is crazy.
We look like we're the same age.
Hey, Jo. Hey, Don.
Oh, I'm... I'm Pete, by the way.
Yeah. This is Pete. Sorry.
Yeah. So...
Well, here we are all together.
Yeah, we are all here.
You know what? I want to take a picture of this.
Can you guys just come together?
Yeah. I'm just gonna...
I am very confused.
Okay. Ready, and...
got it. Just beautiful.
Just beautiful.
Are you fucking kidding me? Who are you?
Did she take it?
It was a mental picture.
So I... I wish that all you guys
were here together under better circumstances.
Oh, yeah, do you?
Oh, Dad just told me that, um, Max was living here.
Wait. What do you mean he was living here?
You could've said that when you called, Dad.
Woody? All right, look.
I need to explain something to you guys
before you blow this out of proportion.
So I want to talk to the three of you
upstairs in the attic.
Five minutes.
Why does he need to see me?
Kiwi.
He just said me. He pointed at me.
No. No, he didn't point at you.
I don't know, Dave.
When I figure it out, I will call you.
Yes. I have to be here for a couple days.
Donald, Donald!
...back in the office as soon as I can.
All right. I gotta go. I'll call you back.
Dad, what the hell did I say about my paintings?
You have no right to do this.
I didn't do it. Magnus did.
I hid this when the cops came.
Just a collection of his thoughts,
some poetry, things like that. It...
I just felt like it was important to him.
I didn't want the cops to have it.
Great. Now we're withholding evidence.
They took everything they needed.
Dad, you have to take these down.
I can't. I want to keep...
everything the way it was when he left it.
How long did he stay here?
He came back six months ago.
And you didn't tell any of us?
- He wasn't ready yet. - Ready?
Yeah.
This is my father, Woodrow.
Hi. Nice to meet you. Come here.
Hi.
Come in. Come in. Come in. Come in.
You got it. Thank you.
I have so much to tell you.
When they left the Viking colony,
his girlfriend, she was having
a hard time adjusting.
She soon relapsed.
She couldn't handle it.
She died.
I'm so scared.
It's all right.
Jo, he said your paintings inspired him to write.
Magnus tried to stay sober...
but the drugs overtook him.
He kissed me on the cheek, and he left.
He came back
because he wanted us to be a family again.
He wanted to be the glue like your mom was,
and now I want that, too.
He said that these pictures reminded him of you guys.
So how's school?
It's good.
Um, I have a 4.1 GPA.
Oh.
Yeah. I was the first female
to ever go undefeated in CIF
championship tennis,
and I founded my school Young Republicans club.
Should have my pick of any college
in the country.
Mm-hmm. We are very proud of her.
Did you go to college?
Uh, no. I, uh... I got my G.E.D.,
and then I started taking some art classes.
But, uh, you know, I realized there's more to life
than just sitting in a classroom,
learning things. Most of the stuff
you could just look up on the Internet anyways, right?
Can't learn how to be a doctor from the Internet.
Yeah, but you're not really a doctor, Barry.
Yes, I am.
No, come on. You're like a glorified social worker.
Actually, Bear Cub is a very good doctor.
I would still be addicted to Oxy if it wasn't for him.
Thank you.
Oh, he nursed you back to health?
So you're a nurse.
Except you have sex with your patients.
You're a naughty nurse.
Son, play nice.
I think you might need a sesh with Dr. Burwood.
Don't call him that. Don't call him that.
That's my name.
Isn't this fun,
having the whole gang back together?
Yeah, so far apart.
You have something to say, Barry?
No, Dad, I think he's just observing your...
Your sudden and spontaneous attempt
at fatherhood.
How am I doing?
You're doing great.
Eh, sudden, spontaneous.
So, uh, Jo, are you gonna see Johnny
while you're here?
Uh...
that's really random.
Why would I do that?
Wait a minute. Who's Johnny?
Oh! "Johnny" Johnny.
Oh, good call, Bear Cub.
Yeah, you guys must have a lot
to catch up on.
Who's Johnny?
Thanks a lot, Barry, really.
Are we... Are we done here?
Oh, is Johnny the guy you were gonna have a baby with?
Excuse me?
Well, my dad said you had an abortion. Is that the guy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is this appropriate dinner conversation?
Well, I don't keep secrets from my daughter.
Secrets aren't something you blurt out at dinner.
Well, it's already out, so it's not technically a secret.
Johana did what she had to do. She left.
It's nothing that the rest of you didn't do.
Dad, I left because I started a family,
my own family.
Okay? No one abandoned you.
No, but you stopped talking to me.
You stopped talking to each other.
All I'm saying is we haven't seen each other for years.
Let's just try not to spoil it.
It is just amazing
how you can put yourself on a pedestal like that,
the fact that you have the gall
to point your finger at any of us.
Dad, it was not our job to support you.
You were the dad.
Where were you when we lost Mom?
No, no. It took the death
of our little brother,
who we hardly even knew, till you realize
that you actually did a really shitty job.
Yeah, yeah. I'm just wondering
when you're gonna start taking responsibility
for your own shit instead of
blaming it all on me.
I mean we did pretty much raise ourselves, Dad.
Thank you. Just saying.
Yeah.
Forget it.
Well, the food is, um, fantastic.
It is! Yeah.
Thank you for the hospitality.
Thank you, Pete.
So, Ashley,
are there any cute boys at school?
I guess.
But how 'bout anyone special, you know?
Any hummingbirds coming to feed at your nectar?
Please, Dad. Can you... Can you rein this in?
It's natural.
Heh.
Is... Is this proper dinner conversation?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Okay, as... Really?
As a matter of fact, I am a virgin,
if that's what you guys are asking.
Good. I'm waiting for marriage
so I don't have to abort anyone.
Oh, wow.
- Wow. - Okay, well, um,
Ashley, did you know that your dad had you at 17
and was forced to get married?
Yeah. I teach her not to make the same mistakes I did.
Okay. Well, I'm... I'm in the middle of a conversation
with your mistake right now, bu t according to her rights,
Jo can do whatever the hell she wants.
Barry, where is this going?
Honestly, Uncle Dr. Barry, do you really think
you're the right candidate to speak for the subject?
I mean, you people can't even have kids.
What do you mean me people?
Don't. Just don't.
I mean, once we've allowed same-sex marriage,
who's to say you can't go out there and marry your car
or, like, a dog or something?
I think I would have a hard time
consummating the relationship I have with my car.
Yeah, but what if he did? Would you slap a ring on him?
I'm not gonna have a political conversation
with a narrow-minded 13-year-old
who's comparing people to autom - obiles and canines.
I'm 15. Yeah.
So, when's the funeral?
Oh, stop it right now.
I'm fucking serious.
We're here for your brother.
I really don't give a fuck
whether you like each other
or me or not,
but only for one week,
I fucking implore you to get along with each other
for the sake of your brother.
And then we can all go back to our pathetic lives,
which I am obviously to blame for.
Your dad's right.
This is wrong.
I feel like we should say a prayer for Magnus.
Maxwell?
Magnus.
Whatever.
Please grab your neighbor's hand.
Finally.
The energy in here was so damp, man.
Nah, I'm okay.
Don. We don't need him.
You don't need me either. It's... Okay.
I don't think I can do this either. Sorry.
All right. Well, you all can watch.
You can keep your eyes closed or open,
but please make sure to keep your soul open.
Wow. Wow.
You know, aloha means hello, goodbye,
but it also means love.
Will you please relax?
No. I have anxiety.
Pacing helps me calm myself.
What the hell would you have anxiety for?
Because your whole family hates each other.
I told you we don't get along.
Yeah, but I thought you were talking about,
like, the way a man gets mad at his wife
for stepping in front of the game
or... or fighting over which channel to watch.
Pete, you wanted to come.
Look, I never said that I wanted to leave, okay?
I really like being here with you.
I just sometimes need to vent and pace
to get stuff out.
Okay.
And who's Johnny, by the way?
He's just a boyfriend from high school.
Well, then why did everything escalate as soon as it
was broug ht up?
It escalated because my brothers are dicks.
Are you sure? Yes.
Because if you need to, like, go and see that Johnny guy
for any reason, to, like, bury any hatchets
or, anything, you totally can. I get it.
Why would I care? Why would I do that?
There's no hatchet to bury, you know.
I haven't talked to the guy in, like, almost five years.
Yeah. But you're here now, right?
Look, the guy was a dickhead.
I dumped him, and I left.
Do you guys want to go grab some cocktails?
No.
Yes, please.
Can you give us a minute?
Listen, Jo.
I like you, okay?
But I'm not down for getting into this
if you have any unfinished business.
That's all I'm saying.
You have nothing to worry about, okay?
Okay.
I need a drink.
Don, you sure you don't want to come with us?
No, I'm good.
Okay.
See you guys later.
Have fun. Yep.
You know, you're not better than us.
One brother is a suicidal drug addict,
the other is a therapist who bangs
his male patients,
and my sister is a coward.
My daughter and I live a normal and
comfortable life.
That's why I am better.
Ah, you sound like the perfect big brother,
comfortable with putting everybody else down.
And your comfortable life with your wife
who doesn't support her husband during
his time of grief.
Who says I'm grieving?
You do.
Look, why don't you buy a few rounds
and say that you paid for it?
Ah.
All right, will you back off?
All right? I am trying to concentrate here
and focus on some quality time with my daughter,
who is kicking my ass.
Have one for Magnus.
It's okay, Dad. You can go.
Really?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Yeah. See? She's fine.
She and Faye can sit around and talk about creation
or pollination or something like that.
See what you're getting yourself into?
I'm into it.
Fine.
Oh, hey, can I borrow your car?
Mine's got so much shit in it.
I'm driving.
Attaboy!
I can see your nipples through your shirt, by the way.
Oh, wait. Should I change? I don't...
I thought you didn't like drinking.
No, I'm just a self-medicating drunk.
I drink when I'm anxious.
All right, come on.
Why are you pushing me?
I'm gonna go to the little girls' room.
You and Don talk. Don's in finance.
I'm sure you guys will have a lot to talk about.
So, what do you do for a living?
Mm.
I live life.
Yeah, that's... That's fantastic.
Pete, you really need to calm down.
Hey, bartender!
Whoa, dude. What are you doing?
I need a refill.
Uh, no, you don't.
Look, I'm just trying to get on your guys' level.
Well, you don't see the rest of us getting wasted.
No, that's what I mean.
I... I need to get drunk to fit in.
Okay. Stop being such a baby.
Okay, Jo. Okay.
You, uh, lovebirds need a couple refills?
No, we're... Shit.
Johana?
Hi there, Johnny.
That's Johnny?
Yeah. I'm Johnny.
Pete, Johnny. Johnny, Pete.
I need two refills, please.
What were you drinking? No, you don't.
Are you his mother?
No, I am not.
She's my girlfriend.
Yeah, actually. Um...
this is my boyfriend,
and my boyfriend and I need to go.
Well, congratulations to the both of you.
Next round's on me.
No, no, no. We're fine. We have a table.
No, no, no, no. You heard the man.
The next round is on Big John.
Yeah.
Jo, I'm so sorry about your brother.
Thank you, but, uh,
we really have to get going. Come on.
Nice seeing you, too.
Where's Barry?
He went to the Boom Boom Room.
Well, we should get going.
Yes, please. Yeah.
Why are you sitting down?
Hey. Ho. Coming through.
More free drinks!
One for Magnus. Mm-mm.
Keep 'em coming.
Why do I have the feeling
like you're trying to keep us here?
What? Who, me? No. Mm-hmm.
What, you know this guy?
I'm Johnny, man.
Don, right?
Heh. Hey! Hey.
Hey, Johnny!
How are ya, pal? I'm good.
Yeah? I'm real good. Yeah.
Wow. It's so funny,
'cause we were just talking about you over dinner.
Only lovely things, I'm sure.
Eh.
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about
your brother.
Oh. I know. I know.
It'll make a great movie of the week, though, right?
Okay. Well, we're gonna get going,
so you should, too.
Well, that bathroom was a treat, let me tell ya.
Holy shit!
We got the whole Burwood bunch.
All right. I'm gonna be waiting in the car.
Thanks, Johnny. Great to see you, kid.
Johnny, hey.
Dude, you look so fit.
Yeah, I lost some weight.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm really sorry,
uh, that I was such a dick to you in high school.
Right. Right.
You know, life's gotten a lot better.
I'm a doctor now.
Wow. That's... That is cool.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not a barkeep, so...
It pays the bills.
Does it pay the bills?
He's also in a relationship.
Hi. I'm Makewi.
Hey, there. I'm John.
Yes, you are.
Great catching up with you guys.
Bye. You, too, John.
All right.
Well, we should go.
Let's go. Yeah.
We should go. Yeah, let's go.
Yeah. Come on.
Come on. Chop-chop. Let's do this.
I have a sicky little boy here.
All right.
Do you need help?
Watch his head.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Jo!
Jojo! Jojo?
Johana?
Yeah.
Uh, I really am sorry about Max.
He was a, um, very interesting guy
from what I remember and from what the news said.
Yeah. Well, um, you said sorry already.
Hey. You kidding me?
I gotta go.
Let me take you to lunch tomorrow.
No.
Or coffee or tea or boba, anything.
Okay, come on, Jo.
No phone call.
No note. You changed your number.
I mean, you didn't even give me a chance
to be there for you.
My brother just died, okay?
I really can't be dealing with this right now.
No, you're right. I'm sorry.
That's like the fourth time you said that.
Come on.
I'm working at Cafe de Leche tomorrow morning.
Come on! I gotta go.
Come by, and see me.
Coming! Fuck.
Finally.
It's good to meet you, bro.
Bye, Johnny!
You've got a good head of hair, bro.
Okay.
And down.
There you go.
Sleeping beauty.
Thanks, man.
No worries.
I guess I'll be going.
Yeah, go. Yeah.
Do you need anything else?
You're good?
No, I... I think I got it from here.
Okay. Mahalo.
Mahalo.
Maha...
Mahalo. Okay.
Oh, I wanted to give you something.
Mm.
Something for the edge, little sista.
Why not?
Thank you.
Jo?
Hey. How you feeling?
I'm sorry I ruined your night.
Ah, you didn't ruin my night.
Really?
Okay.
I'm gonna go wash up.
Hey, Jo.
Hmm?
I like you.
Heh.
Hello?
Hey. Hey.
You smell pot?
Oh, what, are you a pothead now, too?
What is the matter with you people?
What are you doing up here, Don?
I smelled pot.
Just relax, please.
Yeah. Well, the whole house smells like weed.
Who gives a shit?!
You crying?
No.
Yeah, you are.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm f-fine.
Ugh.
No wonder you're crying.
This is disturbing.
Jesus.
Well, I'm no Dr. Barry,
but I can tell you this artist has issues.
Thanks.
Is that supposed to be Mom?
I guess.
And you're the baby?
I don't know.
I don't remember.
Is that me?
The one in the dress and the little nightie?
Looks like you had some unfinished business
with that guy, Johnny.
Oh, shit.
Is that supposed to be your baby?
I don't know. I don't know why
everyone cares so much about this.
You know, please...
Okay. Okay.
Hey, I'm still your older brother.
I don't know.
Are you fucking with me or something, Don?
'Cause it's not funny.
We weren't always this shitty
to each other, right?
Remember when you were little and sweet
and innocent
and followed me around like a little puppy dog?
I'm not a puppy anymore.
Yeah. What happened?
Heh. I grew tits, and you're an asshole.
You know what? I am gonna commission
a whole new line of work,
still lifes.
I want something happier, like a nice bowl of fruit.
Slap a smile and some eyeballs on there for me.
I'd buy that, put that in my living room.
No, you know who'd buy that? Barry.
Barry'd buy the shit out of that. Heh.
I just want to know what Max was doing
with all these up here.
Yeah.
Who knows?
Read the book.
Let me know when you figure it out.
Yeah.
Oh, hey. You know, if you ever need to have a session,
you want to gab about Mommy and Johnny
and, you know, whatever,
my door is always open.
I'm twice as expensive as Barry,
but only half as helpful.
Heh.
Thanks, Don.
Good night.
Try not to smoke too much of that shit.
Honey, honey, honey, honey,
honey, honey. No, please.
Please stop, okay?
It's 7:00 in the morning.
We went to bed, like, four hours ago.
No. You went to bed four hours ago,
my little bear cub.
I was working.
On what? What are you building?
An ark.
Why?
Because something told me to.
Because something told you to. Okay, great.
Hey! Oh, God.
Do you fruits have any idea wha t time it is?
Yes. Yes, we do.
What is he doing?
He's building an ark.
He's building an ark?
Yeah.
What the fuck for?
Because something told him to.
Ah. You are a really good doctor, man.
All right. Fuck off, Don.
No! No! No!
Hey! What did you do that for?
Sleep!
How high are you?
So this is coming from our yard?
What's going on?
Okay, look.
I couldn't sleep last night, yeah?
So, I was really hungry,
so I started to eat some mushro - oms that I brought from home.
You know, mushrooms, magic mushrooms. I ate 'em.
They were really good.
Okay. Fuck this. I am going to bed.
And I started to trip out,
and I wanted to go for a walk,
so I went for a walk.
And then I don't know why,
but I found myself in this abandoned ware...
Like, it was like a constructio n site or something.
And it was this vision,
and... and something said, "You have to build
this ark."
Are your gums bleeding?
No. I don't know what it was,
but something deep in my soul,
it was a color, it was a feeling,
it was something that said,
"Take this wood, Makewi, and build the ark."
Isn't this, like, a bit small for an ark,
in case of big flood or...
I never said flood! I never said flood!
I said something told me to build an ark, so I build an ark.
I don't question these things.
All right, Kiwi, relax.
Hey!
Okay.
What's everyone doing out here?
Somebody please hide all the power tools. Barry?
I have this.
Honey, you stole lumber.
I didn't steal it. I borrowed it.
You know why it's bad to eat mushrooms now, right?
I say, "Whoo."
Kiwi?
"Alas, milady and I are about to return
to the Americas.
A new journey awaits in our homeland."
Our rehabilitation was over,
and it was time to face the world ahead.
These modern Vikings showed us their tools of sobriety.
Our life is no longer controlled by substances.
We've rid ourselves of bad habits and vices,
but I reckon to see no difference between
fantasy and reality.
But a true Viking, no matter how trapped he may feel,
must face dragons head-on no matter the consequence.
This is the Viking way.
Never give up. Never submit.
Never surrender to any man or any thing.
Where are you sneaking out to?
Is there more coffee?
Sorry. I only made enough for my dad and me.
Of course.
Here. Uh, take this.
Really?
Yeah. You can have it.
Thanks.
Oh, that is way more sugar
than I was expecting.
Yeah, I don't like the taste of coffee.
Why the hell do you drink it, then?
I have an essay to finish.
Oh, gosh. It is summer.
Go... Go to the beach. Hang out with boys.
I don't have time for boys.
I want to get in to NYU,
and everything needs to be perfect.
Heh. Don't you have, like, a 4.0 GPA?
Yeah, 4.1.
Ashley, okay,
try and enjoy being a kid
before it's too late.
Okay. Yeah, you had a boyfriend in high school,
and look how that turned out.
How did that turn out?
Are you serious?
Okay, who the fuck do you think you are,
little girl, huh?
You have no idea what you're talking about,
and neither does your asshole dad.
Okay, I was proving my point.
Calm down.
Well, that's none of your business.
One day, you might be faced wit h the same decision,
so you shouldn't be so quick to judge
something you've never gone through.
Hello.
One second.
Okay.
May I help you?
Hi. Yeah, um...
Tori.
Yeah. Johana Burwood.
I almost didn't recognize you with the hair change.
Oh, yeah. Well, I guess people are right.
Blondes have a little too much fun.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you still look like you're in high school.
Thanks, I guess.
Uh, who's that little kid?
Is he someone's here?
Is he bothering you? No. No.
Hunter, can you come here, please? Now.
Oh, he's yours.
No, I just like to yell at random kids.
This is my son Hunter.
Can you say hi? Hi.
Hi. I'm Jo. How old are... Okay, Hunter,
what did I say about jumping up on the furniture?
I don't know.
Okay. Can you go color
in the back room, please?
Thank you.
Can I get you a coffee or a scone?
No.
Does, um... Does Johnny work here?
Why do you want to know that?
I just needed to talk to...
Is Hunter...
Yeah.
Nope.
Uh, what the fuck, John?
How long does it take to smoke a cigarette?
Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, you are.
I said I'm sorry, Jo.
Jo? Tor... Tori.
Don't you have a bar to open?
Fuck.
You know, I'm gonna go.
Yeah. Good idea.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, Jo, wait up.
I have to go.
What for?
I shouldn't have come here.
I didn't know that you and Tori were together.
Seriously? We're not married.
Good for you. Can I...
I didn't even know she was working today.
Her parents own this place, and I, uh,
owe them money.
And you have a kid together.
Yeah.
Yeah. Can I get my keys, please?
I'm not gonna give you the keys back until you
tell me why you came.
Okay. If I tell you why,
will you please let me leave?
I pinky swear.
I will just take your word on that.
Jesus, Jo.
I don't understand what you're so upset for.
You came here to see me.
I was going to tell you the real reason I left,
but I don't even care if you know anymore.
You had an abortion.
You were ashamed.
Everybody knows that.
Yeah, everybody doesn't know shit.
Jo, if I knew you were gonna leave after that,
I would've said we should have the baby
if that meant me and you staying together.
I've missed you.
Ah, man, we would've been great together, huh?
You can't just fuck people's friends.
You can't just get girls pregnant like it's whatever.
Tori was a mistake. I... I was young.
I fucked up when I cheated on you, Jo.
I'm paying for that now, clearly.
Yeah. Well, some things you can't take back.
You know, don't ruin your kid's life
because of some stupid schoolboy crush.
Crush?
Yeah.
Yeah. I was in love with you, Jo.
We would've had a perfect life, huh?
Just you and me.
And our baby, Johnny.
And our baby, whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Fuck, Jo! I...
thought we were having a moment here.
God, a moment? What the fuck is wrong with you?
You're a father. Go have a moment with them.
Just wait. Wait a second.
Okay, f-fuck it.
This makes no sense.
You are missing out, Ash-flower.
Sometimes you gotta just stop and enjoy the scenery.
Not my call.
Just chill, you know?
What's wrong with you?
Where have you been?
Nowhere. It's... It's nothing.
Okay. Sure.
You know, if you would have just told me
that you were gonna go talk to him, I would've understood.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads-up.
He's still an asshole, if that's you're wondering.
Oh, fuck! He's such an asshole!
He's an asshole, huh?
Damn it!
Jo, are you okay?
I sense some very negative energy coming from here,
and I just needed to make sure you were okay.
Yeah. I'm, uh...
I'm good.
Okay.
What, are you changing?
No, no, I'm packing. This is a bag.
But what about the funeral?
I should've just stayed home.
You know, I come back here,
and all this shit just picks up where it left off.
I'm gonna talk about me for a second.
You know, I never really had a family
until your dad took me in.
He's been really nice to me.
Yeah.
Well, he's, uh...
He's changing, I guess.
Heh.
I think he pretends I'm you guys.
He misses you.
It's not just him, though, you know?
It's... It's this place.
It's Max.
It's every scar, every bruise.
You know, every stupid fucking
memory is...
It's here.
But if we didn't have any of the bad stuff,
then how could we recognize the good?
It would all just be the same.
Maybe they're preparing you for something bigger.
What, like, um... Like a test?
Yes!
You should go catch Peter and see if you pass.
What do you mean catch him?
Where'd he go?
Well, he took Makewi's bike.
He looked very determined.
Oh, shit.
May the winds guide you, Jo!
Hey, what do you want, man?
What the...
Are we done here?
I'm just getting started!
Get off of him! Dude came at me.
Get off of him right now, Johnny,
or I swear to God, I will run you over with my car.
Learn to throw a punch like a man, huh?
What, a man like you?
Yeah, have fun with my sloppy seconds, bro.
Get over it, Johnny!
We were in high school!
Fuck this!
Yeah, tell your wife and kid I say hey!
I'm not married!
Hey, are you okay?
Honestly, just leave me alone.
I embarrassed myself enough.
Pete.
I shouldn't have come here. Why?
Because you obviously have a lot of loose ends
that you need to tie up,
and I just get in the way, okay? I get it.
That's not true.
Yes, it is!
I tried to kick his ass.
I... I can't even fight.
I don't need anybody to fight for me, Pete.
I... I brought you because you're a good guy,
because you're someone I want to get to know.
Yeah, and I feel like you forge t that I'm even here.
Pete, we need to talk.
I'm gonna tell you something I've never
told anyone before,
why... why I really left here.
Jo, I really understand.
Okay? No. No, you don't.
I... I never had an abortion.
Why the hell would you lie about something like that?
No. No. I mean, um,
I... I had the baby.
What?
Yeah.
I... I was young.
You know, I was 16, and...
And Johnny and I had decided that it was
the right thing to do.
But the... the night before,
I just... I had this...
This feeling that I just couldn't shake.
I... It just wasn't something I could do.
Well, what happened?
I moved away and actually had the baby.
Everyone just thought I had an abortion and left.
What happened to the baby?
I had a closed adoption, and that was that.
You know, but, uh,
now I have to live with the fact
that I have a kid out there,
and I'll never know what she's doing
unless she comes and finds me,
so, you know, it's easier
just to let everyone else believe what they want.
When my mom died, I...
I lost the only woman in my life.
You know, my brothers did their best,
and my dad did what he could,
but then he, uh... He started to dwindle away.
Max did try, though,
but, you know, he was a drug addict.
How could he...
I started, uh, painting these pictures
of these women,
but no matter how hard I tried, I just...
All the women in the paintings
resembled my mom.
And nobody knew any of that until now,
so I don't really know...
Don't say anything else.
I just want to hug you.
God, Don, come on!
Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!
Ow! Get...
She's a minor, Barry! She's a little kid!
You're such a fucking hypocrite, man.
One minute, she's an adult.
One minute she's a kid.
Make up your mind! Fuck you!
Dad, leave him alone. I wanted to have the drink!
What is going on?
Bearbear gave Ashley a bit of alcohol.
Yeah, it was a mojito.
Hmm. Good for you.
Enjoying my summer.
Get off!
Hey, fatty.
Ow.
"Dear Diary..." Come on.
Get off!
"Oh, I saw Jamie Linder's pee-pee
"in the locker room, and it was red and beautiful.
I want to hold it in my mouth."
Remember that, fatty?
Is someone gonna break them up?
Ah, they're making up for lost time.
Let 'em get a few more in.
They're not so much fighting
as kind of aggressively hugging.
Little bitch!
Yeah! What now?!
You forget I wasn't just a cheerleader.
I was also on the wrestling team.
Let's call a fruit a fruit, Barry.
Come on, you liked getting whipped
in the shower after the match.
You're such a fucking asshole. Yep.
You want more, bitch? Aah!
Ooh! Ooh!
All right, enough.
It was an accident!
The coconuts?
Really, Barry? That's enough. That's enough.
Get the fuck off me.
It was an accident.
Just like a fucking faggot
to go for the nuts.
Daddy, look out!
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but if you use that word in that tone again,
your daughter as my witness, I will bend you over
and show you how I lost my virginity. We clear?
That's enough!
Daddy, are you okay?
Pack your bags.
What, now?
Now! Okay.
Don, don't. Don! Don!
Look, wait. Wait. Don't go.
Don't go!
I am sick of this fucking family
or whatever the fuck you want to call it.
All right, I want you to stay.
I don't give a shit what you want.
Look, Don! I'm your father.
I need you to stay.
Oh, you're my father all of a sudden?
You lost that privilege a long time ago!
Come on, Don. We could talk abo ut this.
Damn it!
You okay?
Come on. We're going. Don, wait. Wait, Don.
I didn't abandon you, Don. I was lost!
Yes. You know what? You were fucking lost, Dad!
You were lost my whole fucking life!
And you know what? Stay the fuck lost!
No, Don, Don, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I was a man in love. What was I going to do with...
Yes, you loved! You loved one woman more than you loved
fucking anything else in the world,
and you couldn't see anything else!
Where were you at all my fucking games?
At my graduation or my wedding?
Your granddaughter walks in the room,
you didn't even know who the fuck she was.
Your daughter has an abortion! You weren't there!
Where were you? I know, Don.
Your son comes out of the close t where were you?
Magnus was fucking self-destructing
in front of your very eyes, where the fuck were you?
I was here when Magnus was here.
Bullshit! I'm here for you right now!
Tell me what you want! Don't!
Tell me what you want!
Don't try and be my dad now.
It is too broken, man.
We are too broken to fix.
Stop! No!
Woody. Woody.
Uh...
can I sit here?
I mean, it's the gay section.
I don't want you to catch anything.
Look, I didn't mean that you're a faggot.
I... I don't know what I meant, all right?
You punched my balls into my mouth. I was in pain.
Not the first time I heard that.
Come on, bro. I... I don't know
how to do this.
I'm gonna go talk to Jo.
Okay.
Can I borrow her for a second?
I'm just gonna get some coffee.
Hi.
I've been meaning to ask you something.
What?
Do you know what your name means?
What, Jo?
No, Johana.
Should I?
Well, you gotta drop the "J."
Ohana?
Ohana.
Where I come from,
"ohana" means family.
And I'm someone who strongly believes
in kismet, you know?
I believe that things happen
for a reason, you know?
And I don't think your mom named you that by accident.
Listen, man, I-I'm really sorry.
I... I have been a really bad older brother.
You know what I don't get is, you know...
you're the only person who's ever used
my sexuality against me.
You know, I don't even remember
the last time I was called a faggot,
and you show up and boom, right back where we started
Well, dude, look at me.
When I was in high school, I was...
I was the man, you know?
I was varsity everything.
I got good grades. I was wildly popular.
No, I... I should've cleared a path.
I mean, you were already fat and gay.
Fat and gay, great.
Well, look how shit turned out, all right?
Here I was this cocky guy, knocked my girl up,
and then, you know, I had to be an adult
for the rest of my life.
You, you got to go to college, become a...
You know, a doctor.
I'm dealing with an ugly divorce.
I'm trying to teach my kid to be nothing like me
or her whore mother.
What are you talking about?
I thought you liked being married. No.
She's been fucking around behind my back for years.
Don, I had no idea.
Now, dude, I love my kid.
She's everything to me.
Literally, she's... She's all I have left.
Ashley and I moved out of the house last week.
And staying here ain't exactly perfect,
but anywhere's better than there.
Ah, man.
I miss Mom.
I didn't realize how much until I got here,
saw all you guys.
Me, too.
Burwood.
You can see him now.
He's still out of it, but he
can have visitors.
Immediate family only.
Right.
He's still stable,
just resting.
Where is everybody?
You okay?
I have this idea.
That's a bad thing, though, right?
No, this is a good thing,
but follow my lead.
Oh, God.
Why?
Guys.
Look at you,
the three of you together again.
You good?
Never better.
Magnus and Mom say hello.
You know, when I was away...
my favorite passage from Magnus' book
came to me.
I memorized it.
I want you to hear it.
"A wolf is always strongest when he's with his pack.
"Every day, a dire wolf dies,
but the pack must stay together."
"And when they do,
"in the end,
they will prevail."
"The tighter the pack, the stronger the wolf."
"I want you guys to remember us
"when we were at our best,
when your mom was there."
"Then we can all dine in Valhalla
together." Huh?
We can be a pack, Dad.
If we weren't in a hospital, I' d howl right now.
Hi.
I-I'm sorry. I have to check his vitals.
Yeah.
You guys go on.
I'm not going anywhere.
How's he doing?
Uh, he's okay, I guess.
Good, good, good.
We should... We should go.
Why are you dressed like Doogie Howser?
I will explain that later.
We should get back to the house right now.
Where's Kiwi?
He said that he would be waitin g in the car for you.
Uh, okay.
What the hell is that?
Is that a corpse?
This is your bruddah.
That's Magnus? Yeah.
Makewi, you know why this is bad, right?
You know why...
Where the hell did you find him?
What the fuck is the matter with this guy?
Okay, there's only one hospital in town, yeah?
So, two plus two. We checked the autopsy room.
There he was.
You guys, I am so sorry.
I had no idea that he was gonna...
Never mind. What the fuck are we gonna do with him?
We're going to give him a proper
Viking funeral.
Oh. Oh, you're going to give him a proper Viking funeral?
What the fuck is that?
We're going to put him in a boa t set him afloat,
and I'm gonna shoot flaming arrows at him
and set him on fire.
No, no, no, no, no. That is not happening.
Okay, you are taking him back to the morgue immediately.
And how are you gonna do that, Barry?
You're gonna just waltz into th e morgue with a fucking corpse?
I don't know!
Take him back the way you got him!
Guys, would you please just listen.
I am just reading the signs here, okay?
Honey...
I took up archery in my 30s. What for? Huh?
I start building the ark. Why?
It's because I'm reading the signs.
And guess who's writing 'em?
Magnus.
He's telling me to do so.
Gimme the mushrooms, okay?
I'm not eating mushrooms.
Barry, I'm all... I'm all for your open-mindedness
in this relationship,
but are you fucking serious?
Not now, okay? I'm try...
Yeah, you know, we have to do this.
Do... What? Are you serious?
It just makes sense. Yeah, yeah.
It makes perfect sense. Totally.
Let's blow up brother.
Let's do that. Let's fucking...
Didn't you just hear what Dad told us?
I mean, let's start right now
working together as a pack.
What would Magnus want if it was one of us, huh?
He would want one of us to shoo t flaming arrows at him.
We need a body of water.
Jo... Yes.
Is it... What are you laughing at?
This is not funny. Yes, right.
No, no, no. This is hilarious,
and actually I have a great idea.
Remember that lake behind Arthur Park?
Yes! Yeah, I used to go there.
I'd blow all sorts of shit up.
With M-80's, I'd fucking blow up furniture.
I'd light my textbooks on fire.
I'm not gonna get arrested, okay?
I'm not gonna do that. I never got arrested.
Yeah. Well, you didn't have a dead body with you either.
You know what? You have to take some fucking responsibility
for what you bring... for your role in this family.
Okay. I don't think we should
be fighting like this.
You are a fucking idiot sometimes, man.
What the fuck are you talking about?
And you are a fucking lunatic.
This is important.
Will you guys listen to me?
Who brought this fucking guy?
You are fucking guy. I'm not fucking guy.
Listen, shut up!
I am reading the signs.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
Look, I read Magnus' book, me, not you, me!
And if I learned anything,
it's that a Viking goes to war with any size army
as long as he's fighting for his family.
Who gives a shit about our fucking past?
It sucked. Okay, big deal.
But let's take this moment to prove to ourselves
that all of us have at least one selfless bone in our body.
We just watched our father have a stroke.
Our brother is dead, and what're we doing?
We're blaming each other for shit that happened in the past,
that doesn't even fucking matter anymore.
I really think that this is what Magnus
would've wanted.
Right?
Anybody?
Yeah, fuck it. I'm in.
Bear?
I mean, if you really think this is what he wants.
Okay.
When Mom was alive, she was always our rock.
Magnus tried everything he could
to fulfill that legacy.
Now it's our turn.
You almost ready to go?
Yeah. I'm just finishing this last little...
Okay, let's go.
I really like this one.
Mm, it's okay.
I'll finish it later.
When my mother died, my family fell apart.
My brother tried to put us back together.
When he died, he achieved his goal.
We've become a family again.
Sometimes in death, breath is drawn into a new life
Today is the day of my namesake's reckoning.
One day, we'll dine in Valhalla with Odin,
and we will once again be together as a family.
Sincerely, your daughter, sister, and friend,
Johana Burwood.