Sure the groundskeeper came today?
It's beautiful... it's beautiful.
Hey.
Any word?
What round?
All right, let me know if you hear anything.
29th.
Plenty of time, not even worried about it.
What?
♪ 'Cause he's focused around them chunky girls ♪
♪ Who puff it raw it's what they cause ♪
What?
I told you to roll down your window.
I hate you. I love you.
He's grumpy.
Hey! Any news?
No.
Ah...
I can smell it in the air, it is a baseball day.
I'm ready for this day, are you ready?
I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life...
Garvey, let's get 'em! Yes.
Hey, Dells, you got some duct tape on your window.
Wasn't sure if you were aware of that?
Oh, yeah, thanks, Vinnie.
Uh, where is... where's your car?
Is your mom picking you up today?
No, your mom said she'd do it. What's up?
Oh, that's cute. Cup check. Oh!
Titanium steel, man. That's double-layered right there.
I don't know if you're serious, but my mom can pick us up...
after the game, if you need a ride, get some grub after.
We're gonna be so starving.
Oh, I want to tell you guys about this new stretch.
Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie... What, Garvey?
I got this new stretch I want to show you guys...
Aw, sh... You all right?
Yeah, I'm good. No, I want to show you a new stretch.
Oh, my gosh.
Can we take the stairs next time?
They're right over there. No.
So hot.
Where the hell is everybody?
I told them to get here early, so we can get a little BP.
That means batting practice.
I called everyone last night.
Swear to god, Ty, I called everyone.
I don't know why they're not here.
I actually feel like my lungs are sweating... is that bad?
No, it's actually a good thing.
Keeps your muscles loose during the game, keep 'em loose.
Is that how muscles work, Garvey?
Most of them, yeah.
Yo, what's up, boys? What's up, Vinnie? What's up, Dil.
Where have you guys been? You're late!
Nobody's even here yet, Ty, relax!
The groundskeeper ain't even came yet.
Actually, he did.
That's sad.
So? what's the word? You heard anything?
32nd round, last we heard.
Are you kidding me? Seriously?
Should have been a 15th rounder, at least.
♪ Peanut butter jelly time ♪
♪ Peanut butter and jelly Peanut butter and jelly ♪
♪ Peanut butter and jelly and a baseball bat ♪
♪ Peanut butter and jelly ♪
♪ Peanut butter and jelly and a baseball bat ♪
♪ Peanut butter and jelly ♪ You're late!
♪ Peanut butter and jelly and a baseball bat ♪
Hey, guys, does this shadow make me look like I have a huge cock?
You're late, Polacco!
In his defense, he is a seventh-year junior.
So that is kind of his thing.
Yeah, you still working on that doctorate, Polacco?
Hm?
Uh-oh, look at what you done. Don't do it.
It's coming. Don't do it.
It's coming. Go back a little bit.
Come on, lick it.
There's too much wrong... not tonight, not tonight, bro.
What's up?
What's up, Murray?
What's up, did you talk to him?
Yeah, he get a call?
35th round, I haven't heard a fucking thing.
Not even a phone call?
The Padres guy that was scouting him... the Mets guy?
I said, "Not a thing," Dells!
Can't sit here and think about it, all right?
Let's get warmed up. Let's do some stretches.
What, nobody wants to stretch?
For this game, Ty?
If, by stretch, you mean have another beer...
then I'll gladly stretch very hard with you, Ty.
Hey, no, no, absolutely not, nobody listen to him.
Nobody's drinking beer! It dehydrates you, motor skills!
Gone, forget about 'em. Shut up, Garvey.
Dells, you have to stretch, 'cause you're my little brother.
You have to come.
And Vinnie you're my brother-in-law...
so you have to come, too. Not your brother-in-law yet.
Also, don't know how to stretch, thus, I will be staying here.
Come on.
Come on, I'm gonna show you that stretch.
Vinnie, you should really come out, I'll show you the stretch.
I'll be right out. I'll be right out.
Go get 'em, guys. Go get 'em, guys.
Go get 'em... nap time.
Look at Fotch. Pushing 40, still doing his drills.
He's actually 33.
Oh, good, Barone showed up.
Only need like one shot, then... Okay.
Knock it out of the park.
So you're gonna be up there like ten times, then?
Yeah. Okay.
I wonder if he actually knows what's going on with Maz?
The only thing he knows about is what's happening in the mirror.
How do my eyebrows look?
They're good. Not too bad?
No, they're good.
I'm here! I'm here, I'm here, I'm here!
I'm here, sorry I'm late.
Uh, it's all right, David, I forgot you were on the team.
Hah... okay, I was watching the draft.
Late in the 37th, and he hasn't been picked yet.
You wanna stretch?
Am I starting?
Probably not.
Nah, I'm good, then.
I'll see you guys in there? Yeah.
All right.
You've got to be kidding me.
What?
They rented a bus?
They rented a fucking bus?
Who the hell are these guys?
This isn't the team we beat this season.
This is a whole bunch of new guys.
They brought in ringers.
You see this shit?
I don't get it. What happened?
This is a whole, new team.
We played four of these guys this season.
That's Tommy Dorehty, he was drafted last year.
He plays for double-A Scranton.
The Phillies are grooming him to be a closer.
And that's Michael Antonelli, he throws 93...
and he got drafted this year.
All these kids, they're all D1.
BC, LSU, Villanova?
Oh, this is a bunch of horse shit!
Horse shit. Horse shit.
You know, my uncle knows Don Mattingly.
Why don't we call him up, see if he wants to play, huh?
See, what I don't understand, bro, is how they get that money for that bus?
How come we don't have that money for this bus!
Guys.
Guys!
My dad just texted me.
The draft is over... he didn't get picked.
What? Damn it.
It ain't right...
the kid can play.
Well, fuck it.
He can go to open tryouts, play the independents...
and he can still make it.
Come on, Polacco you know how unlikely that is.
Ruin my fucking day!
How many of you guys play with him in college?
He was the best player I've ever seen...
just one clutch hit after another.
Even three days ago, he got the game-winning hit.
Only reason we're playing in this game.
What's up, you peter-puffers?
Who fucking died in here?
Maz didn't get drafted.
He didn't get drafted? Oh, my god!
Man, that fucking sucks.
I mean, I know all about that...
because the same thing happened to me last year...
the exact same thing.
The Yankees and the Red Sox were coming to scout me like crazy.
Gave me the old reach around.
Yeah, didn't matter, I hurt my wrist, really tweaked it.
You know, I lost millions off that.
Definitely woulda been drafted if that didn't happen, right?
Right? You guys don't know shit.
All right, bring it in!
Dells.
All right, guys, my name is Fred Haze, and this is Tim Donnelly.
And we are here for the... What the hell are we here for?
Okay, here's why I'm ruining my Saturday.
We are here for the semifinal playoff game...
for the Orange County, Duchess County...
Ulster County and Westchester County Mid-Summer...
Jesus... Mid-Summer Intramural Amateur Baseball Association.
Sponsored by the Knights of Columbus. Is this a joke?
No, it's the fourth annual.
Well, how many teams are in this league?
Six. Six?
No, seven, but one was disbanded due to a lack of interest.
And everybody makes the playoffs?
Yes.
Okay, today's game is between the visiting Bulldogs...
and the hometown D-Bags.
D-Backs!
I'm sorry?
D-Backs.
What'd I say?
You said D-Bags.
Okay, D... Backs. What's a D-Back?
D-Backs, like Diamondbacks, like the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Why didn't you just name yourselves the Diamondbacks?
'Cause it was too many letters.
Can we please just move on?
Okay, here are the rules.
We all know what this is, it's a casual summer league.
Okay, everybody is here just get a work out in and stay in shape.
Okay, so here's the main rule; no collisions.
Nobody is looking to get hurt.
No cleats up, no take outs, no running over the catcher.
If anybody does any of these things...
it will result in an immediate ejection, am I clear?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Wonderful, now these are seven inning games, not nine.
The winner of this game and the other semifinal...
will advance to the regionals in Ocean City, Maryland.
Any questions?
Yeah, who the fuck are you?
I'm Alex Ca...
Ah! I know who you are.
You're that hot shot center fielder out of Florida State.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Just relax, dude.
There's nobody here who isn't supposed to be here.
Bullshit! None of these guys were here a week ago.
Everybody here was listed on our original roster.
There you go, Ump.
Their dues were paid by either themselves...
or by somebody on their behalf.
All the documents are here, Happy.
There's like 50 fucking names on this roster!
There's nothing in the rule book about a maximum roster size.
This is a bunch of horse shit! You're gonna let this happen?
You want to get a lawyer?
Oh, this is a bunch of horse shit!
That's... just gonna... Sorry.
I told you we shouldn't call 'em D-Backs.
Shut up, Garvey!
He's very passionate.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no shame in that.
That's real strength.
You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.
It's been a rough couple days.
I'm sure they'll understand.
I mean, I don't even think they care about this game.
You know, it could be a good idea just to...
take a little break from baseball for a while, you know?
I mean, God knows you've earned it.
Right?
I mean... right?
Let's play ball.
It's audacious is what it is.
You know? It's audacious!
You just learn that word, Ty?
Oh so this doesn't bother you?
Of course, it does, man. It's... it's Bush League.
Yes!
Yeah.
Exactly! It's Bush League! It's...
What's up, guys?
Hey, what's up, Maz?
Sorry, I'm late.
No, it's fine. It's fine.
I wasn't sure if... I'm glad you're here.
I wanted to go over the line up with you.
Okay.
Come on.
They brought in a bunch of stud horses today.
It's gonna be hard to beat them.
It's gonna be like the '27 Yankees...
versus the fucking Lollipop Guild.
Ouch! Okay, Ty! We get it!
It's because we're short, we get it!
So what I was thinking is, even though we usually bat...
you third, we're gonna put you first...
so you can get up as many times as possible, but only if...
you're all right with that, if you think it's smart. Ty.
I know you like to get in third and drive in a bunch of runs.
But I'm thinkin' if that we put speed in at the bottom...
Ty! Yeah?
You can bat me first, you can bat me ninth for all I care.
You can make me bat boy, it doesn't matter.
You don't have to come to me.
I just, thinking with the whole draft thing...
I thought it might... take your mind off of it.
You thought you'd get my mind off baseball by talking to me...
about baseball at a baseball game?
It isn't working?
Look who's coming.
Schwartz. Hold on, hold on.
That is the biggest Bush league move I've ever seen, man!
You can't just pull a bunch of guys off the street...
and start a new team just because it's the playoffs!
Ty... Jesus...
We were teammates for three years at STAC!
I know, Ty! I get it.
I came over to say I understand why you're upset.
It's not my team. All right, it's not my roster.
I don't make the rules... Jesus.
Maz, I also came over to say I'm sorry about the draft.
You deserved it.
I'm sorry, too. It really sucked.
Ice cream! Get your ice cream here, boys!
Ice cold ice cream, get it while it's hot!
We get ice cream?
Duh, bro, Maz eats ice cream before every game.
We realize it's the secret to his success.
So we're gonna do that now, huh? Of course, it's playoffs.
We need the competitive advantage!
Well, back off, back off, hey, stop crowding!
Stop crowding, all right? Maz gets to pick first.
Maz which one do you want?
I think I'll skip today.
What? Maz, you gotta have your rainbow sprinkles, bro!
I just don't want it.
He doesn't fucking want it, then leave him alone, he doesn't have to have it.
Okay, but what if it creates a fissure...
in the space time continuum?
Serious, Maz, I got like three extra.
Well, thank God I'm here. I mean really, the things I do, excuse me.
There we go, that is it. There we go.
Oh... that's it.
My bad, thanks, David.
All right, guys, listen up!
I gotta figure out the line up. Who doesn't want to play today?
Oh, ha-ha, yeah. Very funny.
Seriously, I gotta sit someone out. Who's it gonna be?
I'm nursing a pretty aggressive hangover...
so I'll nominate myself.
All right, good, and Jonathan's pitching...
so he's not in the lineup.
Whoa, whoa, Dells is pitching?
Yeah, Zapata, he's a pitcher. That's what they do.
He's gonna crush this team, right, Jonathan?
But he's our closer.
He's not closer, he's a starter.
He closed for us at STAC.
Hey, Jonathan, are you a starter or a closer?
Starter? Yeah, thank you.
I'm just saying, that's a pretty big workload for somebody...
who's been closing all year.
Well, if he gets tired, I will bring in a closer.
But he's our closer.
Hey, everybody, enough! All right, I'm the coach!
And I say my brother is starting, so he's starting.
You're the coach?
Yeah, Polacco!
Where have you been, huh?
I'm holding the clipboard. Are you holding the clipboard?
Oh, I didn't think so! All right, anybody else holding a clipboard...
please raise your clipboard!
You bring that from home?
Yeah.
Borrowed it from my dad.
Now I'm the only one holding a clipboard.
All right, so is there any more insubordination...
before I finish figuring out this line-up?
You have no idea how badly I want to think of something else to say.
Well, time's up!
All right, here's our line-up.
First, John Mazzello, shortstop.
Second, Arthur Barone, DH.
Third, Ty Dellamonica, 3rd base.
Fourth, Mike Triana, left field.
Fifth, Chris Zapata, 2nd.
Sixth, Brian "Botch" Rocco, 1st.
Seventh, Pat Murray, center field.
Eighth, Vinnie Malzahn, in right.
And ninth, Jon Garvey, catcher.
Pitching is Jonathan Dellamonica.
And on the bench are Ryan Polacco and David Stein.
Everybody got that?
Let's win.
Batter... up...
Hear that call...
♪ The time has come for one and all ♪
♪ To play ball ♪
♪ We are the members of the all-American team ♪
♪ We come from cities near and far ♪
♪ We are Wops and Micks too Hispanics and a Jew ♪
♪ We're all for one We're one for all ♪
♪ We are all-American ♪
Two, three, four, one...
♪ Ah shoo-bee-doo-wop ♪
Aw, shit, gawd, I missed it.
Mm, ooh, morning.
Nothing like a little dip after some ice cream.
You know what I mean?
Hey, Brian, how you doing? Hi, Joey.
How's Johnny Boy doing?
He'll bounce back.
You got time, you got time.
Stay with it! Stay with it!
There it is... nice out.
A little sluggish out there today.
It's gonna be a long day.
♪ We want a double Just a little double ♪
♪ D-O-U-B-L-E Double double double ♪
How's Pat?
He's taking it harder than Johnny. Your boy earned it.
Is he going to try again next year?
He got an offer to play in an independent in Arizona
and to play in Italy, but it's up to him.
Ah, it's a shame, you know, it's like hitting the lottery.
It's such a long shot.
It's just a shame, the window is so short.
That's you, Maz.
That's three, there you go.
But you know what? If he wants to go, I've got my plane ticket.
♪ Give me a B You got your B you got your B ♪
♪ Give me an A You got your A you got your A ♪
♪ Give me a T You got your T you got your T ♪
♪ Now what You don't want none of us ♪
♪ Boo-yah what boo-yah what boo-yah yeah ♪
Somebody needs to tell those guys to shut the fuck up.
Zapata, zap, zap, zap... zap. What's up, bro?
Nothing, man.
Oh, by the way, I was watching you take those ground balls out there.
You really gotta get down on those.
You know what'll really help? Tell you right now.
What would help me?
You just take that non glove hand of yours, right?
Which would be your... right. I'm a righty, yeah, right.
You take that non-glove hand, you just pop it on top of that glove, pop, pop, pop.
Do that again. Pop, pop, pop.
Make the sound, if it helps. It does, it does.
I promise, they'll come to you, just like that.
Really lessen the chances of it getting away from you, if it takes a weird hop.
Garvey, that's great insight, brother. Hey, you're the man, thank you so much.
Thanks, man. Think about it. Don't touch me.
Think about it when you're on the field next.
I will, thank you so much. All right.
♪ Hey batter what's the matter ♪
♪ Can't you take a little chatter ♪
Swing... batter, batter, batter! Strike.
Let's go, Maz!
How much do you want to bet he hits one out of here first at bat?
I'm not gonna bet against Maz, bro.
♪ Harass him harass him Make him relinquish the ball ♪
What the hell is with these guys, man?
We good?
♪ We're good you're bad We're good you're bad ♪
No.
What do you mean, no?
I'm not bunting in a summer league.
You're not even giving the same signs.
What are you saying?
Steal?
You can't steal first, Garvey!
I know, I'm just saying...
Barone, whatever I tell you to do, you have to do!
Yeah, whatever, dipshit.
I hope you get out, Barone!
Yeah.
You're welcome, Ty.
Should I have him steal now or...
Shut up, Garvey.
Okay.
What's up, bro?
Dude... you know, if your last name was Martinez...
you would have been drafted.
You really believe that?
Hell, yeah, I believe that. Really?
Hell yeah, bro, look, we're the hot new ethnicity right now.
You know? Scouts can't see past that shit.
If a scout sees a Latino dude who can't hit...
can't field for shit, but he's fast
you know what they call it? 'Raw talent'.
I swear, man, it's like their new way of calling us spics or some shit.
Bro, they can call me Speedy Fucking Gonzales...
as long as they draft me, shit.
Seriously, I'll step in the batters box wearing a poncho.
You know what I mean?
I'm not saying there aren't plenty of our guys who deserve it
but shit, my boy Maz deserves it, too.
It's your size too, John. They overlook guys like you.
But if a 6' 5” goon steps up, who couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat
man, they all start salivating.
As long as he has size...
looks like he has power, they think they can teach him to hit.
Let me tell you something.
If he hasn't learned how to hit in 21 years...
it's ain't gonna happen! It doesn't matter.
It's steroids! That shit is everywhere in the college game.
Even guys at STAC are doing it.
Then they get drafted, they get tested in the minors
and they have to stop doing it...
and then they end up getting dropped in a year
but it takes spots away from guys like Maz...
who are doing it on fucking ice cream and sprinkles!
Who wants that life though, really?
I mean, especially if you suck?
And you're stuck in some bullshit town in what, Iowa?
Playing Single A ball somewhere for a couple years
getting paid nothing, spend your life on a shitty bus
staying at Motel 7's and 8's.
I'm telling you, man, that is a miserable, miserable existence.
Shit, I'd give anything for that.
Fuck, yeah.
Yo, Fotch? You were drafted, right?
Yeah, I vaguely remember that, yeah.
It was that long ago, huh?
Well, I'll never forget the day the horse and carriage...
rode up to my cottage and delivered the telegram.
So, whatever happened with that?
I hurt my shoulder. It refused to cooperate.
Uh-huh... and what happened?
I was playing center and I was trying to throw this guy out
at home and something just snapped. It was terrible.
I had a SLAP tear.
I tried surgery after surgery, but nothing worked.
Finally the doctor, he suggested something more experimental...
and I just had to let it go.
Do you have a gnarly scar?
Yeah.
Can I see it?
Sure.
There it is. Oh, shit.
Whoa, hey, man, that looks pretty bad-ass.
So, at least you got that.
Yeah, I lost 35 percent of my range of motion...
and I'm highly vulnerable to re-injury, so...
You're like Samuel L. Jackson from Unbreakable.
So why do you even do this league?
Well, I play first base now obviously...
'cause there's a lot less throwing.
But... ah... it's the game, it's got a hold on me.
So I play it when I can.
You're out! You're out! Double play.
What the hell was that, Barone, why didn't you slide?
Because I was dead to rights.
Bullshit, you didn't want to get your uniform dirty!
Well, maybe you should get a hit next time and we won't be in this situation.
Yeah, yeah, now I remember where I know this guy from.
Yeah, he was that 'lights out' closer for St. Thomas Aquinas this year
except when they got to the conference playoffs
I think he blew it for his team and STAC was eliminated.
Hey, everybody...
don't worry if this guy pitches tough now, okay?
When the pressure is on, he chokes it away!
Hey! Knock it off.
What's that, Shatter?
You say something, Brittle Bones?
Give me another one.
You talking to me, Osteoporosis?
♪ We want a pitcher not a belly itcher ♪
♪ We want a catcher not a belly scratcher ♪
No, no, no, you need to...
Yeah, right. You're right, that's what it is, though.
Oh, god, bench bets?
Barone, it's bench bet time.
What are bench bets? What's a bench bet?
Are you fucking kidding me?
How do you of all people not know about bench bets?
Half your life is spent on the bench.
Oh, no, I play, I play... I've played.
Yes, you have.
Bench bets, David, is a gentleman's game...
that one plays on the bench...
at a baseball game so you don't die of boredom, okay?
Oh, I like that. Yeah, it's good.
You will.
Well, I'm excited again. Okay.
All right, I'll start us off, nice and fresh, nice and easy.
I bet the next at bat lasts exactly five pitches.
Okay, all right, okay, I got 100 bucks on six.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I said it's a gentleman's game.
I thought you were Jewish, for one!
Why are you coming with $100?
How about we start it for $5?
Is that all okay with you, fucking money bags McGee?
I'm just ruining stereotypes in your head, huh?
Yeah, well, I don't like that. It's blowing your mind.
No, don't like it. Fine, $5.
If you want to be cheap, you know, but okay.
♪ Bands will make her dance Band to make her dance ♪
I got four on the under.
No, you can't get four and under, it's the exact number.
I have four and under. Yeah, I'm six and over then.
You can't have six and over.
I don't get five and you get everything else!
Okay, it's like I just said. I'm gonna write it down.
Don't you write that down. Don't you dare write that down.
Don't you write that down! I'm writing it down, though.
He's writing it right there.
Strike three!
Ooh, talk dirty to me.
No, because that's three! That's three, so nobody wins!
That's three, so nobody wins, there you go.
I had four and under. You don't...
I had four and under! Witness? You're my fucking witness.
Oh, he witnessed it, did he? Did he witness it?
Well, I witnessed it, too.
I refute your account of the events
thus nullifying your testimony as per Plessy vs. Ferguson...
Yeah, well, I witnessed it, too, fuckface!
Gavel banged, give me my Euros.
Don't you gavel bang me! You already said...
Yeah, give me my money. Pounds? Pounds?
You get those fingers out of my face!
That's it! Bench bets are off.
Fuck!
And I hope you two are happy.
It's like my grandmother said...
Expect to have fun, forget it.
Now you're gonna have to sit here and watch baseball.
That is your punishment.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
Do I need to go to the dentist?
♪ H-O H-O-M H-O-M-E-R-U-N ♪
♪ Home run Adrian Home run Adrian ♪
Hey, Schwartz!
What are you on a team with a bunch of fucking girls with your softball chants?
You guys sing.
It's not the same!
Are we bothering you, Murray?
I really don't like these fucking guys!
Change of plans.
You're not allowed to get tired.
I'm keeping you in the entire game, no matter what.
Show these guys what you can do.
Don't make me look stupid.
You guys were saying you got some opportunity to play independent ball.
Opportunity might be a stretch, but yeah, I got some offers.
You gonna take them?
I don't know.
You know anything about these leagues out west?
Yeah, I mean, definitely every year a handful of guys get drafted from those leagues.
I just don't know if it's worth it to go through all that again.
You know, put the work in, uproot my life...
and still not make it?
It just seems like a waste of my time.
Well, there's no doubt the road gets harder from here
but the road's always friggen hard, no matter what you want.
You know, when my second surgery was a bust?
I went to this rehab place
to get my arm back to at least functioning
and this beautiful girl...
was assigned to help me with the day to day.
Just the cutest thing I'd ever seen.
Anyway... I married her.
We're married now.
I guess what I'm saying is...
sometimes the end of one journey without even knowing it...
it can be the beginning of another one.
Anyway, for what it's worth.
All right, Tree, let's get some runs off this big shot!
Not a great start.
Strike one.
Strike two.
Strike three!
Wow, same pitch... you fucking idiot.
Son of a biscuit!
See, the problem is you're just not getting your hands inside the ball enough.
It's that simple.
That's not the problem, Garvey. The problem is I'm terrible.
Strike two.
Ah, you gotta be kidding me!
If it's low, let it go, you know?
Say it with me. If it's low...
Okay, you don't have to say it, but if it's low, let it go.
Just stay away from anything that's low and inside, alright?
It's not your strength. It's not your strength.
You gotta lot of strengths, that's not one of them.
Oh, forget it. Strike three, you're gone!
Strike three!
Mine! Mine!
Made that shit look pretty.
Two hands, two hands over your head, just like that.
You see what I'm doing right there? Just guide that baby in.
All right? And you...
Dells, I really think that if you went with a two-seamer...
instead of the change-up...
I don't have a two-seamer, Garvey.
Strike three!
Oh, boy, oh, shit!
Come on, man.
Yeah, I'm showing bunt.
I'm showing bunt and then I drop back.
101 here, boys.
Get comfortable, we're gonna be here a while.
I like to work the count.
Foul off some pitches. You know how it is.
I bailed a little bit.
I bailed it a little bit. I can call my own here.
But now I'm dialed.
Now I'm in the zone.
Get ready to turn around, pitch. This shit's gone...
Strike three.
Good stuff. Good delivery. Good deception. See ya'.
Keep it nice and tight. Nice and tight.
You know? Keep it in. Keep that elbow in.
There's nothing wrong with sending one out to the outfield.
You know what I mean?
Wait, were you talking to me this whole time?
You know I'm not playing, right?
Hm... hm.
I'm just saying, I think if you were to develop a two-seamer...
it would make you a hell of a lot more dynamic against a team like this.
I'm pitching a two-hitter, Garvey!
That's two too many. That's two too many.
All right?
Strike three! Are you fucking serious?
They don't get any better than that.
Is that a joke? I coulda' hit that.
Come on. I mean, dude, it was way outside my zone.
Way outside, both ways! Both ways, blue.
I mean, come on. You got nothing to say.
There's an earthiness to his tone that is unparalleled.
Okay? His voice is transcendent.
Brian is the emotional core of the band! Okay, end of story.
Thank you, David!
Nick is the guy people wanna hear, man.
It's always been about Nick.
Think of it this way, okay? All of their hits...
Nick starts every single one of them.
Because he's Brian's opening act, you fucking idiot!
Oh, whatever, man.
Just shut up, you little corn cob.
A.J.'s the one who can't be ignored, obviously.
He smolders... just smoke, man.
On one hand, he's like, 'Yo, I don't give a shit"
On the other hand, he's like...
'I'm gonna nonchalantly slap...
your grandma with the best fucking vocals you ever heard.
You know I've heard some shit before, Barone...
but that is the biggest one I ever heard.
You know you like him 'cause he bloody well looks like you.
Yeah, he does. He's a very attractive man.
If bone structure is a consideration...
which it should be.
Bone structure's nothing to do with it.
This is straight-up vocal talent!
Strike three! You're gone!
This is how it goes. No, what it is...
Just shut up! All right, we're gonna settle this right now.
Shut up, first one in. Whatever.
Hey, Zapata, how are you? Question.
Objectively speaking...
who is the greatest Backstreet Boy of all time?
Brian.
And you can put it on the board!
Yes, how does that taste?
No, no, wait... you said Brian?
Yeah. Nick.
No! You already said Brian. Bullshit.
He's already said Brian... Get your hand out of my face!
Don't you touch that money! Don't you touch that money!
Give me my money back. Put that money back down!
That's it!
The integrity of the bet has been compromised.
Bench bets are over, again...
for the second and final time.
Fine.
As a side note, can we just agree that Justin Timberlake
is a blatant rip off of Nick Carter in every single way...
and doesn't hold a candle to his vocal prowess?
I mean... was that ever in doubt, though?
JT thinks he's so cool.
You can call it a strike, if you want, all day long.
I don't care. That's your job... by all means.
Ump... I'm hoping you're gonna umpire the game...
because you haven't been doing it all day.
I'm not gonna swing at a pitch that's a foot outside...
Foul ball!
But call it a strike. Call it a strike.
Foul ball! Strike two.
Time! What?
What are you calling time for?
Don't worry, all right? I got this. Yeah!
What's up?
So, I'm over in the dugout, right? And I'm watching your last at-bat.
And I'm watching this one, I'm sitting there thinking...
"Garvey, what can I do? Tell Maz you're a little off right now."
And I realized, the second the pitcher goes into the wind-up...
Garvey!
The day that I need advice from you...
is the day that I kill myself.
Oh, shit! Smackdown!
Yeah, Garv!
Come on, Garv, bring it back in here, buddy!
Aw! So real!
Walk it off. The pain is so fresh.
Yeah, there we go! Come on! come on! Three!
Slide! Down!
Hey, that's the Johnny Boy I know!
Yeah! There we go! Now let's get something going!
Ball three.
Ball four. Take your base.
Fuck.
Oh, he lost it in the sun. It's too bright.
Go, go, go, go!
Nice.
Yay for Ty!
Ball four, take your base.
He's reeling.
This will be a fast ball, right down the middle.
Home, home, home!
You've got your cut!
Home! Home, home, home!
Home!
What?
Oh, you fucking idiot, Barone!
What? I told you to go! Why didn't you run?
Relax, Clifford, I would have been out by a fucking mile.
Bullshit! He hit the fucking backstop!
Even a perfect fucking throw would have scored you!
Are you afraid to slide? Naw.
You wanna keep your fucking uniform clean...
that fucking bad?
It's called bleach, Barone!
I'm sure your little girlfriend will be happy...
to keep it clean for you!
Fuck you, Ty!
Don't talk about my girlfriend.
You're getting fucking dirty.
No. Hey, stop.
You're getting fucking dirty right fucking now!
Hey, stop, you stop, I'm being serious!
Stop! Hey! Motherfucker!
You're acting fucking crazy, stop. Stop!
Get off me! You're crazy, we're in the middle of a game!
You remind me of a crazed fan. Stop! It smells like lavender!
What in god's name are you two morons doing?
Break it up!
He's threatening me! Hey, you want some?
I don't care if Murray hits a home fucking run!
You are sliding into home!
Let's get back to the game, ladies.
I'll slide into your mom... your mom's home.
Fucking idiot.
I'll score.
Strike one.
Sorry, Garv, it's been a bad day.
Hey, don't worry about it, man. I get it.
Kind of dumb of me to give you advice, anyway.
Well, you know, it kind of worked... I got a hit.
Yeah... yeah, I guess it did.
I tell you what... if you ever need me to annoy you again...
just let me know, I'll be there.
Okay.
Strike two.
Murray's gonna strike out again, isn't he?
Yeah, probably.
Strike three! That's all.
Oh, boy.
Bases fucking loaded! Bases fucking loaded!
Fucking idiot! Stupid! Bases loaded!
Fucking idiot! Piece of shit!
Should I go talk to him?
Stupid, fucking stupid!
Uh, maybe you should just let him get it out.
Fucking idiot!
You all right, there, Murray?
Fucking idiot!
A little Murray worry?
You all right there, little buddy?
Want to have a little catch? Nice, fun times?
Hey, hi.
Fuck!
Ball!
Got one.
How much you want to bet Murray kills someone...
before the end of the game?
What the fuck are you doing?
Wow, he is still going.
Well, there is something wrong with that boy.
Does he do this at home?
Here you go.
Oh, shit!
Hey! What the fuck was that?
What? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Oh, shut up, Zapata, I'm just throwing the ball in.
I'm standing five fucking feet from you!
You trying to take my head off? I was just throwing it in!
Catch the ball, Zapata, how about that?
Really? Really? Maybe catch the fucking ball.
Catch the fucking ball? Yeah, catch it!
Standing five fucking feet... One time in your life!
Well, this is gonna get ugly.
What the fuck was that? Huh?
Such a fucking baby, Murray! Why don't you grow the fuck up!
You're the one whining about me throwing the ball in!
Yeah, you're so fucking... Stop throwing that at me...
as hard as you can, because your ass can't hit!
You fucking suck at baseball, bro! Deal with the shit!
You throw like a bitch! And you bat .250!
Patrick, relax!
Shut the fuck up, Dad! Yeah?
That's my boy.
At least I don't yell at myself about it for an hour...
like a fucking lunatic! You're a fucking psychopath!
I'll show you a psychopath! I'll take a bat, and shove it up your ass!
Say that to my fucking ankle, bitch!
Go wash my dishes! I'll beat your fucking white...
Whoa! Whoa!
Chill out, Murray! Murray, chill out!
What is wrong with these guys?
Hey, quit it, both of you! Sit down! Sit down!
Everyone can hear you.
Murray, sit down! I'm not gonna sit out!
Why are you so angry? Everything! Everything!
I know I can't hit, Zapata! Huh? You think I don't know that?
But John can hit! And he should have been drafted!
I mean, we kill ourselves for 15 years...
with this stupid, fucking game for what? For nothing!
We bleed it, we breathe it!
You're not gonna cry, are you?
And people like you... Polacco.
You've got all the fucking talent in the world.
They brought you in from across an ocean to play baseball.
And you wasted it!
If you hadn't spent your entire sorry college career...
partying every fucking night...
it could have been you we're saying should have been drafted!
Wait, so let me get this clear, even the fantasy version...
of my life, I still don't get drafted?
You had a gift.
And you wasted it.
But John didn't waste it.
He gave it everything he had, every day!
And if he'd been drafted, it would have been like...
we all got drafted, because he's one of us!
And I wanted it for him.
It's bullshit.
This whole, fucking world is bullshit.
Nobody gets what they deserve, good or bad.
You still didn't have to throw it...
Oh, shut the fuck up, Zapata!
What's up? What's the matter?
Dad, I think this is it.
What do you mean?
I think this is my last game.
I shouldn't have come today, it's stupid...
this game's meaningless.
Everybody's at each other" throats.
Everyone is doing their own thing. There's no leadership.
Ty tries, but nobody cares.
I'm not helping anybody being here today.
It's too hard.
Well, you can't leave now, you're already here.
Yeah, I know, I'm not gonna leave in the middle of the game.
Well, that's what you just said.
Well, it's not what I meant!
Before you start saying that this is my last game...
why don't you give it a couple days sleep, all right?
I mean, you should go with these guys...
if you win, go to Ocean City.
I care about Ocean City, Dad.
Strike three! You're gone.
Cool, all right, sweet.
I'm on deck, forget it.
Whoa, wh... hey, Johnny? Listen, you do what you want.
I'm just trying to give you some advice here.
Yeah, look where that got me.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
Okay, shut your faces, listen up!
This game, this one here, is a lot more fun...
when you actually hit the ball.
Am I right, guys?
Sit down, Vinnie. Did you say sit down...
or get down?
'Cause I'm about to break out...
some of my best slump-buster moves on this bitch.
Oh, shit! Oh, shit.
Strike three!
♪ I'm so sexy and so awesome I'm also totally awesome ♪
♪ What's up Garvey ♪
Hey, buddy, mm, mm, gettin' low.
Gettin' low, gettin' low, get low.
Now dodge and weave, and get it on, get it on...
Vinnie... What's up, Garv?
You're making me very uncomfortable.
Please stop. I'm pecking at you.
I'm pecking at you, baby.
Will you sit down, already? Hey, Murr, what's up?
That's weird.
You know, Santa Claus could walk into this dugout right now...
with an armful of gifts, you would still tell him to f-off.
Don't you start with me, too, okay?
Hey, just relax and watch the game, it's one-nothing.
Tell your gay lover to stop dancing in my way...
so I can watch the fucking game.
Can I say something? You're very rude.
Oh, shit.
Hey! Whoa! What was that?
What was that? What was that!
Hey, ump! What the hell was that?
Well, don't ask me, I didn't throw it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, it was a bad pitch, dude.
I think your brother's thrown a couple.
Oh, you think I'm fucking stupid? Huh?
He just happens to lose control against the guy...
who got a triple off of him?
Why would I want to put a runner on?
'Cause you're cocky, that's why.
You want an apology? The guy didn't even get hit!
It was an accident. Ump, can we please get back to the game?
Let's go.
No, no, no, I want my complaint on record.
Oh, I will be sure to mention it to the commissioner.
Hope he doesn't lose control next time you get up!
Oh, make my fucking day!
He knew what he was doing.
Let's go, Maz.
What do you say, 14, let's go!
Go, baby. Go, baby.
Go, baby.
Nice catch.
Ah, shit!
Hey! Head's up!
This is the final inning! Let's hold 'em here!
♪ Our team is tick tick tick tick boom dynamite ♪
♪ Boom dynamite boom dynamite ♪
Garvey.
Uh, no warm-up this inning, all right?
Does your arm hurt?
No, I'm just loose already. Let's go.
All right.
Guys... sit off-speed.
Hey, hey, sit off-speed, sit off-speed.
Hey, Dells...
isn't this about when you start to choke things away?
Hey! Shut your mouth or I'm gonna shut it for you!
Here we go!
♪ Pitchers in a hole ten feet deep ♪
♪ Can't get out 'cause he's got no heat ♪
♪ Say what no heat Say what no heat ♪
He's losing his velocity.
Get 'em over, Dells.
Hi.
This is a big moment, Dells.
I'm glad we're sharing this together.
Oh, not again.
♪ Two ducks on a pond We need a home run ♪
♪ Quack quack Quack quack ♪
♪ Two ducks on a pond We need a home run ♪
♪ Quack quack Quack quack ♪
Ball one.
Get off your knees, Dells, you're blowing the game.
Hope you got your degree, pitcher!
Come on, big brother, get him out of there!
Let's go now, Dells, come on.
Somebody get this guy a bucket. He's throwing up.
Ball three.
Let's go, Dells!
You know what, Dells? I dare you to throw a strike.
Chardy, I don't care if he throws it underhand...
you are taking.
Yeah, I'm gonna finish this at-bat with my eyes closed.
Ball four.
Bye-bye, I'll miss you.
You know, maybe I'll bat lefty next time...
even things out a little bit.
Time.
Don't take him out, he's our best player!
You got anything left?
I'm not coming out.
I'm not taking you out. Do you have anything left?
I don't know.
Guys, can you give us a second?
If we lose, it's not your fault.
All right, forget about the playoffs.
Forget about what happened at STAC.
All right, it's not your fault.
So don't throw one more pitch worried about...
losing it for your team, losing it for me.
All right?
I already know you're great.
So, get in there, throw strikes...
maybe we get an "At 'em" ball, we get out of this jam.
Hm? Yeah.
Nothing he said is gonna help you get out of this.
Agh!
Oh, no.
Oh, let's go!
Tim!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Guys! No!
Come on! Back off!
Murray, no!
Fuck! Motherfucker!
Zach, Zach!
Bitch! Get off me!
Stay down!
Hey! Put the bat down!
Just breathe, Garv, all right? Try and relax.
Take some nice, deep breaths,
Tyler Dellamonica and Vinnie Malzahn?
Present.
Stand up, please.
Come this way, guys.
That's good. Turn around, put your hands behind your back.
Come on. Just do it.
Hey, you can't do that, they didn't do anything!
Hey, easy, easy.
They're not the one putting somebody in the hospital.
Calm down, alright?
Everybody over there, listen to me and just calm down.
But this is bullshit!
Hey, be quiet or I'll arrest you, too.
I didn't do anything.
Doesn't matter, we're cops. What's wrong with your friend?
Well, you're really making a difference.
Say goodbye, gentlemen.
Finish the game.
Finish the game!
Well, I hate to break it to you...
but we're gonna have to call it a day.
We're gonna have to ask you to disperse.
Send everybody home.
Wait, wait, so we're not gonna finish the game? We're not gonna finish the game.
You can't do that! We wanna finish! You gotta let us keep going!
After everything that's happened I don't think it's a good idea.
You have to let us finish this.
Nothing's gonna happen, all right? It's over.
We settled this, it's done. We just want to play.
Yeah.
So both teams, you both want to finish?
Of course, we do, we're winning!
Look, man, we just want to play baseball. That's it.
Let 'em play! Come on, let 'em play!
It's up to you guys.
Let 'em play! Let 'em play!
Chad Hart... you're ejected from the game!
That's right.
Everybody else, we're playing on!
But hey, hey, just know, if anything else happens...
there will be consequences.
You are all responsible. We're okay with that.
Thank you. I can promise you, nothing else is gonna happen.
I'm hitting the first fucking guy up!
What?
I'm gonna put it right in his fucking ear!
Dells, we just told them that nothing was gonna happen.
Well, they think they can just get my brother arrested...
and get away with it? Bullshit!
Hey! Look at me. Look at me!
We get back at these guys by winning, you hear me?
Now let's go out there and win this game.
I need your head in the game.
Just give me the ball.
Give me the ball!
All right, all right, all right.
All right, everybody listen up.
Come on, bring it in, bring it in.
As you can probably tell, everyone's gotta play.
We lost three guys, so... everybody's in.
David, I'm putting you in right.
Polacco, I want you at third. What do you think?
I'll play wherever you need me.
Okay, great, that's where you're going.
Barone... catcher.
Yeah, I can catch.
I mean, I can play anywhere, too.
Yeah. Garvey's stuff is gonna be a little small on you.
I'll make it work.
All right, why don't you go ahead and suit up.
Guys, we're winning this game.
Everybody hear me? We're winning the game.
Yeah.
Let's go! Yeah! Let's go!
Hey, where's my stuff?
This sucks.
Hey... can you see anything?
Barely.
All right, guys, we're gonna stay here for now...
so, just relax.
Could you turn the car around, so we can watch the game?
No.
Please! Come on!
Could you at least adjust the mirrors...
so we can watch it in the reflection?
All right. Yes!
Tell me when, boys.
More. You're way off.
More, more, more, more, more.
I don't even know where you are. Come on, gimme more.
More, way more, you're all sky right now, you're all sky.
More, more, more. More, more.
Now you went too far. Back a little back.
Scalpel! Center it!
There it is! There it is! Stop, stop, stop.
Thank you. That's nice.
That's a nice frame.
All right, I'll be back.
Well, wait, where are you going?
I'm going to watch the game.
Again, your friends, man.
Uh... Maz?
What's wrong with him?
Well, he said he's gonna hit the next guy.
You're joking. No, no, it's not good.
So if he does... get ready to run.
Got this... that's right, I got this.
All right, let's go.
Let's go, Wolfe!
Strike!
Good pitch, Dells.
That's two.
What did this guy do steroids during break?
Strike three.
That a boy, Dells.
Strike!
Pick your pitch, Alex.
You got him scared, Dells.
Yeah, we're up two runs, we're petrified.
Let's go, Dells.
Yeah, baby! That a boy, Jonathan, yes!
Give me, uh... head butt, head butt.
That's okay, now... come on, we're up two runs.
Let's put 'em away right here.
Nice job, Dells.
Let's win this.
All right, listen up.
All right, all right, Polacco, you're up after Murray.
David, when we get to you, you're up in Garvey's place.
Dells, you're gonna bat for your brother.
Let's have smart at-bats up there, okay? Smart at-bats.
I don't want to see anybody chasing any junk.
But if you see something, get after it!
We've seen this guy for seven innings now.
He's gonna start you all off with a fastball...
because he thinks you can't catch up to it, but you can.
His out pitch is that little slider he likes to throw.
Look for that with two strikes.
Don't give him anything for free.
I want him to work for every single thing!
You got it? Yeah!
Got it? Hell, yeah!
All right, now get up on the fence!
Keep the chatter up, okay?
Foul.
All right, Zap, pick a pitch now, babe.
Hey, Maz.
♪ You got a Z-A-P-A ♪
Fotch, Fotch, what's going on?
Jeez.
Hey, don't worry. I'll get on.
Can you move it?
Well, it doesn't matter... but I'll get on.
We can't let you go up there and make it any worse.
Believe me, there's nothing I could possibly do...
to make it any worse, okay?
Foul ball.
If I don't get up, we have to forfeit.
We don't have enough guys, and we can't switch at-bats.
Go, go, go, go, come on!
Fuck!
Hey, guys, I'll get on.
They call me, Mr. Glass.
It's all right, they're gonna lose.
Hey, chin up. We're still in this.
We're gonna get to this guy, man. Let's go!
Come on, Fotchy.
Nut up!
Foul ball!
Damn it.
Inside! One and two!
Foul ball.
Oh, my gosh.
What?
He's doing it on purpose.
What do you mean?
He's trying to walk.
Foul ball.
He can't use his right arm.
He doesn't have the power to catch up to these balls...
enough to put them in play...
so he's trying to walk.
Two and two!
That wily son of a gun.
He's my hero.
Good eye, Fotch. Heart.
Foul.
Foul ball.
Ooh... snap.
Well, now we have to win.
My uncle can fix that for you. Don't worry about it.
It's all right. It's all right.
Foul.
Killing me.
Please!
Foul. Strike him out!
You stallion! You're a stallion!
Full count.
Damn it!
Stay focused!
Shut up!
Ball four.
I can't hear myself. Come on!
Any advice?
Get a hit.
Thanks.
Please don't blow this. Please don't blow this.
There's so many people here.
Please don't blow this right now. Please don't blow this.
Please, please don't blow this. Come on, come through one time.
Come on, Patty, come on, kid.
Don't blow it, don't blow it, don't blow it!
Don't blow it, don't blow it.
Foul ball!
Okay, all right.
It's got to be the fastball.
He's gotta come back with a fastball, okay, I need you to get around on it.
Gotta be the fastball. Please throw a fastball.
Just throw me a fastball, one time.
Throw me a fucking fastball right now.
Throw me a fastball.
Fastball, fastball, fastball.
Dig, dig, dig!
Safe!
I forgive you, Murray!
He's my hero now!
Way to go, Pat!
I guessed! I fucking guessed!
Yes! I'm not out!
Time!
Let's go! Let's go, Polacco!
Kill him! Murder him! Let's go!
You all right? Yeah, I'm good.
I can finish it.
Get this done.
You sure? Yeah, I got this.
Then stop dicking around, get outta here and go home.
Have a beer, whatever. Okay.
Come on, Polac.
Get down!
No, no, hold up! Hold up! One base, one base!
Blue! Time.
Oh! Fucking bullfrogs.
More like the bull... More like the bullshits.
You get it?
Old school with that, old school with that.
Ah, yeah! Yeah!
Let's go, bro! You got this!
Fuckin' weirdo.
You got this, bro!
That's it.
I can finish it.
You guys better win this.
They're bringing in that closer.
Who?
Tommy Dorehty, the double A closer...
the Phillies are grooming.
Is he good?
Yeah... yeah, he's good.
Hey. Look at me.
Yeah.
Everybody gets a moment...
in life, in love... in sports.
This is your moment. Relish it. Don't be afraid of it.
Don't shy away from it. Embrace it.
It's time for you to start believing in yourself...
because we all believe in you.
It's your time.
Go get 'em.
Okay.
Time, Ump. Time.
David?
What's up? Hey.
Yeah.
Um, you need to strike out.
Pardon?
Yeah, you need to strike out.
What? Why?
Because you stink, David. Yeah.
And Maz is up next, so...
if you magically happen to accidently find a way...
to make contact with any of these pitches...
and you hit into a double play...
then the game is over and we lose...
with the best fucking hitter I've ever seen...
sitting in the on-deck circle.
I'm not gonna be okay with that.
Ty is really not gonna be okay with that.
Do you understand? Yeah.
Okay, so you need to turn around...
you get in that batter's box...
and you strike out on three pitches...
without ever presenting a threat...
you march your ass back to that dugout...
so we actually have a chance to win this game.
Do you understand?
I won't hit the ball, if they paid me!
That's what I like to hear!
Now you get up there and you strike out...
like you've never struck out before, you hear me?
Yeah. Yeah! Go get 'em! Go get' em!
David? Huh?
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of me, too, Dells!
Proud of me, too!
What did you tell him? I told him to strike out.
You're a genius, bro.
Strike one!
Fuck! Hit the ball, we want to fucking win!
- Stay focused! - There you go, D!
Strike two. Strike two!
Sorry, that's... sorry.
One more! Let's go! One more!
He's good. You're good!
Yeah, dude, just be a pussy. Come on!
Ball... strike three?
Yes!
Yeah!
Can't touch the Backstreet Bat, dude!
I did good! I did good!
You know, some people just need fucking medicine.
They do.
Oh! Oh, shit.
Tree, you okay? You all right, you okay?
Yeah... yeah.
Uh... time, again!
All right, well...
I don't know what the fuck that was all about...
but it doesn't matter.
I don't want to bother you, look...
Just focus on the task at hand, okay?
Strike this next guy out and let's go home winners.
That's not gonna happen. What's not?
You're not going to strike him out. He doesn't strike out.
Everybody strikes out, Schwartz.
Yeah, but he's got the lowest number of strikeouts...
in the league, with the most number of at bats.
Maz doesn't strike out.
Okay, yeah, that was against a bunch of chumps.
He hasn't seen anyone like me yet.
I'll get the job done.
I think you're wrong. I think you should walk him.
Are you actively rooting for us to lose?
I just think we should take our chances against the next guy.
If the cops weren't still here, I would slap you...
across your little, bitch face.
Hey, look, I'm not walking anyone. Okay?
I'm striking this guy out.
So, please, Schwartzy, get the fuck off my mound.
Okay.
Maz!
Go get 'em!
Come on, Maz!
Foul ball.
That was the pitch to hit.
Strike two!
Bullshit!
Oh, come on!
Bad call, blue!
Good pitch. Live there now, live there. Let's go.
Ball one.
Yeah, you saw that one, you blind, fucking freak!
Be real careful. Be real careful!
Patrick, if we lose because you get thrown out of this game...
I'm gonna disown you!
Atta' boy, shut him up!
Shut him up, let's go! Let's go!
I can't even watch this.
Just... just let me know when it's over, okay?
Come on, Mazzy! Come on!
Ball two.
Good eye! Good eye, Maz!
I am honestly going to barf.
Come on, Maz, come on.
Come on.
All you, D.
Stay in the moment. Just stay in the moment.
Foul ball.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit, that was close.
I might have just shit myself, I can't tell.
That's it. Run up on it!
Charge it, come on!
MAZ Stay back. Don't reach.
JIM If it's low, let it go.
Don't chase the high ones.
MAZ Keep that elbow in.
Swing through the pitch.
If it's inside, swing early.
Outside, wait on it.
JIM Sit off-speed...
you're quick enough to catch up to the fastball.
MAZ Don't chase. Swing at strikes.
JIM Look at the seams.
Look at his motion.
MAZ Look at his eyes.
If it's outside, wait on it.
JIM Short and sweet to the ball.
Think out, react in.
MAZ Explode through the ball. Hips first.
JIM Follow it into the bat.
MAZ Look out for the cutter...
the splitter, the slider.
JIM The change-up, curveball...
fastball, knuckle.
MAZ Side-arm, submarine.
JIM If it's outside, wait on it.
MAZ Wait on it.
Get in the gap! Get in the gap!
Come on, come on, come on!
Let's go! Let's go! Come on!
Get your ass home! Go!
Yeah, motherfucker!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Thank you. Thank you.
Are you kidding me?
I told David to strike out so you'd get up!
What?
I'm so sorry I threw the ball at you so hard!
It's okay! I dunno what I was thinking.
I could have really hurt you.
This makes the impending surgery on my arm so worth it! Ow!
I love you, Maz! That was for Garvey!
That was for Garvey.
Yes!
The wall! Over the wall!
Yeah!
I have chills everywhere, dude.
Maz hit... All three came in?
Yeah.
Way to go!
That was fuckin' nuts!