[birds chirping outside]
[phone buzzing]
RYAN: Hey, Bradley!
BRADLEY: Hey, you. How did your workout go?
RYAN: How did you know I was working out?
BRADLEY: You always work out at this time.
RYAN: Stalker.
Hey, I can't really talk
'cause I gotta go meet my mom now.
BRADLEY: Oh yeah? Can I join you?
RYAN: Yeah, sure.
Doesn't matter at all that we haven't even met yet.
BRADLEY: Then let's meet already.
RYAN : You 're really far away.
BRADLEY: 45 minutes is not that far away.
RYAN I
Driving 100 miles an hour
you still couldn't get here in 45 minutes.
BRADLEY: No...
RYAN: Besides, what happened to that guy you went out with?
BRADLEY: It was just one date.
RYAN: And follow up? BRADLEY: None.
RYAN: Oh, okay.
BRADLEY: Look, you know I like you.
Go on a date with me.
RYAN: Well, what if I come all the way there,
you see me and I'm not your type
and I don't even get a second date?
BRADLEY: You know that will never happen.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[keys jingle]
RYAN: Hey, Mom. CINDY: Hey, Sweetie.
CINDY: How are you? RYAN: What's this?
CINDY: I brought a little work home.
RYAN: Why are you still working such long hours?
Isn't Dad's insurance enough?
CINDY: It's okay,
I save his insurance for you to buy a house.
RYAN: That's still a ways away.
Cl N DY: A ways away?
Just find a girl,
get married and buy a house.
RYAN: You make it sound so easy.
CINDY: Aren't there some nice girls after you in school?
RYAN: [chuckles] No, no, there are not.
CINDY: Did you find someone already?
RYAN: No. Now watch your head
CINDY: Oh.
RYAN: [chuckles] I love green tea ice cream.
CINDY: Good. Here, green tea cookies.
RYAN: Really?
Mom, that's peanut butter.
[Cindy laughs]
RYAN: Bye, mom. CINDY: God bless.
Study hard.
[locks door]
RYAN: So my top choices are Princeton, Yale and UCLA.
CRAIG: Those are very difficult PhD programs, Ryan.
You're gonna need
a very impressive Master's Thesis to get accepted,
So what do you have to impress me with today?
RYAN : Okay.
So, love and desire are advantageous traits
that our Creator has given us,
regardless of whether one subscribes to creationism
or theistic evolution.
CRAIG: So you're sticking with the argument
that love and desire have assisted our species
through the evolutionary process?
RYAN: Yes. CRAIG: Okay, go on.
RYAN: Okay, so love and desire encourages procreation,
protection and socialization
which enable us to better survive
and hence persist as a species.
CRAIG: That's all good, but what about the theology?
RYAN: I was just about to get to that.
CRAIG: Okay.
RYAN: I intend to fuse the reformed approach
with the trinitarian approach.
CRAIG: How so?
RYAN: Well, our God is a good God.
Who creates good things.
God created us to love each other
so that we would reflect God's love for us,
our love for God, and ultimately,
the love that is mutually inherent
in a trinitarian God head.
Therefore, God gave us love so that on earth,
there is an action that reflects the divine.
KEVIN: You wanna go to my place?
RYAN: I do. I really do.
But...
I'm not just looking for a hook-up.
KEVIN: What are you looking for?
RYAN: I'm looking for a relationship.
For someone to date.
KEVIN: I want you to date me tonight.
RYAN: Tonight? KEVIN: Yeah, tonight.
RYAN: Do you have a boyfriend?
Oh shit, I should have asked this sooner.
KEVIN: No, I do not have a boyfriend.
RYAN: When was the last time you had one?
KEVIN: It was about six years ago.
RYAN: Six years?
KEVIN: Yeah, six years.
RYAN : Wow.
Well, have you been, like, looking for a new boyfriend?
KEVIN: No.
RYAN: Why not?
KEVIN: You sure ask a lot of questions.
RYAN: Sorry. [chuckles]
Look...
After my last breakup...
You know, it really tore me up, it really hurt.
So then I just figured, no more.
RYAN: So you're content without love?
KEVIN: Without love?
Who's to really say
that love only exists in long-term relationships?
RYAN: I don't know...
But I need to be in a relationship to feel loved.
KEVIN: Really?
[indistinct]
How do you feel now, beautiful?
GERALD: Hey, Ryan.
RYAN: Hey Gerald,
what are you doing right now?
GERALD: Going to class. RYAN: Oh.
Okay, you know, I'll talk to you later.
GERALD: Sure thing. RYAN: All right.
ANTHONY: Look what Eugene is putting up.
RYAN: Well, it figures.
ANTHONY: And you call him your friend?
KELLI: Hi, guys.
RYAN: Hey, Kelli. KELLI: How are you?
RYAN: Good. EUGENE: What's going on?
RYAN: The usual.
EUGENE: Usual? That's boring.
RYAN: You're boring.
EUGENE: Ryan, you know what?
KELLI: You guys are both boring.
ANTHONY: I'm going to get some food.
EUGENE: That's a good idea! I'm starving
RYAN: Me too.
KELLI: We're heading to the bookstore.
You guys wanna come?
RYAN: Nah, I think I will get some studying done here.
EUGENE: Are you sure about that?
Angela is working today.
RYAN: So?
EUGENE: So? She's hot!
KELLI: Excuse me?
EUGENE: Not as hot as you, baby.
KELLI: We gotta go. Anthony?
ANTHONY: Um... No.
I think I'm gonna pass.
KELLI: Okay, we'll see you guys later.
RYAN : Bye.
ANTHONY: What?
RYAN: You hate Eugene.
ANTHONY: Did you see what he put up?
RYAN: Yeah. The sad thing is,
my mom would probably put up the same thing.
ANTHONY: That sucks.
RYAN: [sighs] Yeah.
Hey, do you know that guy, Kevin?
ANTHONY: Kevin? From Systematics?
RYAN: Yeah, that's the one. ANTHONY: Yeah, what about him?
RYAN: We hooked up.
ANTHONY: Good for you.
RYAN: No, actually, it wasn't.
ANTHONY: Why?
RYAN: [sighs] I don't know.
I mean, the sex was great.
But immediately afterwards, as I was driving home,
I just... I felt so...
Empty.
Like, there is this loneliness...
Like, a huge void in me that won't go away.
Even for a moment with, like, a hook-up.
ANTHONY:[sighs] Oh yeah, that's a bummer.
Hey, I gotta go.
RYAN: Okay, what's wrong?
ANTHONY: I'm tired, Ryan.
RYAN: Yeah, but you are one of two friends
I can talk to about that stuff.
ANTHONY: "That stuff?"
[laughter]
RYAN : Yes.
ANTHONY: Well, I only have you and Gerald
to talk about "that stuff" with too.
And I don't force you to listen to me.
RYAN: Well, yeah. But at least you're out to your mom.
ANTHONY: So?
RYAN: Well, don't you talk to her?
ANTHONY: About "that stuff"?
No!
RYAN: I thought you said your mom is supportive.
ANTHONY: She is supportive,
but I don't like to talk to her about "that stuff".
RYAN: I'd kill to talk to my morn about "that stuff".
ANTHONY: Well, let me know when that happens.
I gotta go,
RYAN: Wait, Anthony.
Can't you just hang for a little bit?
ANTHONY: Ryan, you are something.
RYAN: What? What do you mean by that?
ANTHONY: Can't you just let me go?
RYAN: Anthony, I wanna know
why you're acting so weird today.
ANTHONY: Because I just broke up.
RYAN: With Dat? ANTHONY: No, my mom.
Yes, Dat.
RYAN: Why didn't you say something earlier?
ANTHONY: Because I don't want to think about it
or even talk about "that stuff".
[sighs]
RYAN: I'm sorry. What happened?
ANTHONY: He only calls when he needs me.
He only comes by when he feels like it.
I can't take it anymore.
RYAN: Anthony, I'm so sorry.
ANTHONY: You know, I'm just tired and sick of it.
RYAN: He's such an ass.
ANTHONY: He's not an ass, he's just selfish.
J" Music J“
[sighs] I gotta go.
J" Music J“
[phone buzzing]
RYAN: Hey, Bradley.
BRADLEY: Hope you don't mind me interrupting your reading.
RYAN: How did you know?
BRADLEY: I'm watching you, babe.
RYAN: You're so crazy. BRADLEY: How are you?
RYAN: I'm a little stressed about my thesis.
I need to make it great to get into Yale.
According to my professor. And probably according to Yale.
BRADLEY: Aw, babe. I'm sure you're gonna do awesome.
You're gonna do great.
[knocking on door]
RYAN: Oh, hang on a minute.
BRADLEY: Yeah.
GERALD: Hey, Ryan! RYAN: Hey, Gerald.
GERALD: You on the phone? RYAN: Yeah...
GERALD: Who is it? RYAN: Bradley.
The guy in Irvine.
GERALD: Talk to you later then.
RYAN : Okay.
RYAN: I can't believe Anthony is letting himself
be treated this way.
I want to talk to Dat.
BRADLEY: You do? Why?
RYAN: Because I can't stand the way his treating Anthony.
I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind.
BRADLEY: You are totally turning me on right now.
[snickers]
RYAN: Why?
BRADLEY: The thought of you manhandling Dat
and teaching him a lesson.
[snickers]
RYAN : You so crazy.
Hey, I want to see you on cam.
BRADLEY: Hmm... Okay.
[chuckles]
RYAN: You look good.
BRADLEY: I just got back from the gym.
RYAN: Really?
BRADLEY: Yeah, I'm pumped.
RYAN: Really? Show me.
I can't see anything.
BRADLEY: All right.
How is this?
RYAN: Much better.
BRADLEY: [laughs] You like?
RYAN: Mh-hm.
Wow, whats--
What is your left hand doing?
BRADLEY: Something.
RYAN: [chuckles] What?
[chuckles] Oh, you crazy boy.
[knocking on door]
[Dat chuckles]
RYAN: Hey, Dat. DAT: Hey Ryan, what's up?
RYAN: Can I come in? DAT: No, not a good time.
RYAN: Oh, why not?
DAT: It just not, man. What's up?
RYAN: Okay, I need to tell you something.
DAT: What?
RYAN: Look, the way you treated Anthony was not fair.
And I'm only telling you this because I consider you a friend.
DAT: Ryan, that's not your business.
RYAN: Actually, when you treat Anthony
selfishly and cruelly, it is my business.
DAT: You don't know shit.
RYAN: Look, you know what you did.
And you need to reflect on your actions.
DAT: You said that about me?
ANTHONY: Ryan, please leave.
DAT: You fucked up, you know that?
RYAN: Anthony, what's going on?
ANTHONY: We're back together.
RYAN : Okay.
DAT: Fuck off.
ANTHONY: Bye, Ryan.
[door closes]
GERALD: What?
RYAN: Well, what do you think?
GERALD: Anthony is stressed. Just let him be.
RYAN: Seriously? That's your advice?
GERALD: Yeah. RYAN: Let him be?
GERALD: You're just gonna have to hang outwith me.
RYAN: What the hell are you talking about,
we hang out all the time.
I've been working on my abs, can you tell?
GERALD: What do you think?
RYAN: I don't know.
GERALD: You look good, Ryan. RYAN: Thanks, Gerald.
[Ryan chuckles]
GERALD: Who is is?
RYAN: Bradley.
GERALD: The Irvine boy? RYAN: Mh-hm.
GERALD: Still too far?
RYAN: Yeah, he's like an hour away.
GERALD: He's not willing to drive up?
RYAN: No, he is.
But if we're gonna date,
I will have to drive out there too.
GERALD: I guess that's true.
RYAN: And he wants to take me out.
Like, pay for dinner, and all that.
So if we're gonna see each other I probably have to go out there.
GERALD: All the time?
RYAN: No, not all the time, but the first time.
GERALD: Guess you're never gonna see him, then.
RYAN: Yeah, I know, right?
[birds chirping]
[indistinct chatter]
[birds chirping]
[ringing]
BRADLEY: Hello.
RYAN: Hey babe, I'm here.
I'm on the first floor,
just not sure where I'm supposed to go.
BRADLEY: Okay, just stay there and I will be right down.
RYAN: Bye
BRADLEY: Hey, you. How are you? RYAN: Hi.
[exhales]
So, how was your workout?
BRADLEY: It was good.
Let's go up to my place.
RYAN : Okay.
[door unlocks and opens]
[door closes]
BRADLEY: So, this is my humble apartment.
RYAN: Yeah. Humble. [chuckles]
BRADLEY: Can I get you something?
RYAN: Um, sure.
BRADLEY: Ah, let's see... Something to drink, or...?
RYAN: Yeah.
BRADLEY: Let's see, I've got water or I've got juice.
RYAN: Juice is good.
BRADLEY: So how was the drive?
RYAN: Good. It didn't take as long as I thought.
Thank you.
BRADLEY: Sure.
Let me show you the rest of the place.
RYAN:Okay, but we're gonna go eat soon?
BRADLEY: Are you hungry? RYAN: Yeah, I'm starving.
BRADLEY: Yeah? Let me change really quick and then we'll go.
RYAN : Okay.
J" Music J“
BRADLEY: I'm so happy you came here.
RYAN: Me too.
BRADLEY: I'll just be a second. RYAN: All right.
J" Music J“
EUGENE: I did nothing this weekend.
KELLI: Me too.
RYAN: Me three.
EUGENE: And I still have this paper due.
Life sucks.
KELLI: You sure look happy today.
RYAN: Really? KELLI: Yeah.
RYAN: Uh, well, it's a beautiful clay.
Anyway, I'm gonna go to the library. See you later.
KELLI: Okay.
RYAN: Gerald!
GERALD: Hey, Ryan.
RYAN: Guess what? GERALD: What?
RYAN: I saw Bradley yesterday.
GERALD: You did? RYAN: Yep.
GERALSD: How was it? RYAN: Amazing.
GERALD: Oh, that's good.
RYAN: And the drive wasn't even that long.
GERALD: Hm, that's lucky.
RYAN: Yeah, I guess.
GERALD: So what did you guys do?
RYAN: We had dinner and watched a movie.
GERALD: Sounds typical.
RYAN: Yeah, but I had a great time. Gerald!
GERALD: What, are you going in?
RYAN: Don't you want to hear more about it?
GERALD: Well, yeah,
but I got some books on reserve I need to read.
RYAN: Yeah, but we can't talk in the library.
GERALD: I know, but this is really pressing, Ryan.
I've got tons of reading to do.
RYAN: Okay...
BRADLEY: [sighs] I know I put that DVD in here somewhere.
RYAN: [chuckles] It's okay.
BRADLEY: I'm so stupid. I--
I should've just got it out earlier.
RYAN: You're adorable.
[ringing]
FEMALE VOICE: You've reached...
BRADLEY: Bradley Myers...
FEMALE VOICE: Leave a message after the tone.
RYAN: I'm leaving.
GERALD: Okay.
[phone buzzing]
RYAN: Hi, Anthony. ANTHONY: Hey.
RYAN: How are you?
ANTHONY: I'm sorry about the other clay.
RYAN: It's okay, but I appreciate you saying that.
ANTHONY: I broke up with Dat.
RYAN: You did what?
ANTHONY: Yeah.
RYAN: [laughs] How did you manage that?
ANTHONY: Somehow I got turned off
when he liked me again.
RYAN: [laughs] I see.
ANTHONY: [exhales] So, yeah...
RYAN: Well, wow. Wow, good for you.
Now what are you up to?
ANTHONY: I'm going on a date later.
RYAN: Wait, what?
ANTHONY: Yeah, a second date actually.
RYAN: Wh-- With who?
ANTHONY: His name is Jeff.
RYAN: Uh, how did you meet him?
ANTHONY: [chuckles] Online, of course.
RYAN: Wait a minute, is this why you dumped Dat?
ANTHONY: No.
RYAN: Yeah, right.
ANTHONY: Well, it made it easier.
RYAN: [laughs] I knew it!
Well, is he a good guy?
ANTHONY: Yes, very nice, very sweet.
RYAN: Well, I'm happy for you. ANTHONY: Thanks.
RYAN: You know, I miss your company.
ANTHONY: Yeah... Maybe you can meet Jeff sometime.
RYAN: Yeah, that'd be fun!
ANTHONY: Yeah.
We could get Gerald too.
RYAN: Perfect.
We'll have a convention of the closeted seminarians.
ANTHONY: [laughs] Exactly.
I'll arrange that.
RYAN: Would you? Just get right on that, all right?
ANTHONY: Hey, I gotta go. Talk to you later.
RYAN: Oh, okay. Bye.
ANTHONY: Okay, bye.
GERALD: Hey, Ryan!
RYAN: Hey, Gerald. GERALD: How are you today?
RYAN: Not so great actually.
GERALD: Why?
What's up?
RYAN: Well, it's been two days and Bradley hasn't called.
GERALD: Really? RYAN: Yeah.
I thought the date went well, maybe I was wrong.
GERALD: It's better to know it early.
RYAN: I guess.
[glass and metal clinking]
[liquid pouring]
[door opens]
[phone buzzing]
[door opens]
[ringing]
BRADLEY: Hello. RYAN: Hi.
BRADLEY: How are you? CINDY: Dinner is ready!
RYAN: I'm well. I'm at my mom's.
BRADLEY: Was that her? RYAN: Yeah.
BRADLEY: I should let you go then.
RYAN: Okay, but I'm gonna go back tonight.
So can I call you later?
BRADLEY: Yeah. RYAN: Cool.
Bye.
CINDY: You look happy.
RYAN: I do?
CINDY: Yes, dear.
Anything you want to tell me?
RYAN: No. Not that I can think of.
I wish I did have something to tell you.
CINDY: Me too.
RYAN: Oh, there is something.
CINDY: Yes? RYAN: Tuition;s due next week.
CINDY: I know that.
RYAN: Oh. All right.
Well, thanks Mom. I'll pay you back.
CINDY: Don't you worry, your dad left more than enough.
RYAN: Mom, you should use that to
go on some vacation or something around the world.
CINDY: Oh, speaking of your Dad,
don't worry about his anniversary, okay?
RYAN: Why not?
J" Music J“
CINDY: Concentrate on your schoolwork.
I'm busy myself, so I don't think I'll go.
RYAN: Mom. are you sure?
CINDY: Yeah, I'd rather not. It brings back memories.
J" Music J“
RYAN : Okay.
CINDY: Oh, I had a dream about you the other night.
RYAN: Really?
CINDY: I dreamt I was carrying you like when you were a baby.
RYAN: Okay...
CINDY: I told Aunt Annie, and you know what she said?
RYAN: What?
CINDY: She said I'm still carrying you.
[door closing]
[ringing]
FEMALE VOICE: The mail box belonging to...
BRADLEY: Bradley Myers... FEMALE VOICE: is full
[sighs]
[phone buzzing]
RYAN : Hey.
BRADLEY: Hey. How are you?
RYAN: Well...
Other than the fact
that you're not picking up the phone when I call
and it took you three days to call me back...
I'm okay.
BRADLEY: I just couldn't talk.
RYAN: Why not?
BRADLEY: I was crying.
RYAN: Crying?
Why? What's the matter?
[Bradley sighs]
BRADLEY: You're probably so turned off by me right now.
RYAN: What'? No! Just...
Just please tell me What's going on.
BRADLEY: I have a D.U.l. court case tomorrow
and my attorney says he might be able
to get the case dismissed or extended.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
RYAN: A D.U.l.?
BRADLEY: Yeah, driving under the influence.
RYAN: I know what a D.U.l. is, but what happened?
BRADLEY: I was leaving a club. It was so stupid.
[sighs]
I sat in my car and tried to sleep for like an hour.
And I thought I'd be totally fine to drive.
I started driving home.
Then there was lights...
[sighs]
And I got caught.
RYAN: Then what?
BRADLEY: And then I spent the night in jail.
RYAN: Aw, I'm sorry.
How come you never told me about this before?
BRADLEY: Because guys with D.U.l.s aren't that desirable.
RYAN: Don't be ridiculous.
Are you okay?
[Bradley sobbing]
BRADLEY: I'm depressed.
RYAN: Depressed?
BRADLEY: I've been on medication for it.
RYAN: Okay. So are you seeing a therapist?
BRADLEY: No. A doctor.
RYAN: Don't you wanna see a therapist?
BRADLEY: Therapists cost a lot of money.
I'm not sure I have the money for that now.
RYAN: Bradley...
Do you Pray?
BRADLEY: I used to.
I don't anymore.
RYAN: But you used to?
BRADLEY: I was called a "faggot"
and beaten up outside the church parkinglot.
RYAN: I'm so sorry.
BRADLEY: I just don't go to church anymore.
It's not because of that, it's just--
I don't know, I--
RYAN: You know, I understand,
I mean, I can't even be out in seminary.
BRADLEY: You-- Why?
Everybody loves you.
RYAN: That's sweet, but--
Most of those people don't know the Whole me.
[Bradley sobs]
RYAN: What? What did I say? What's the matter?
Are you okay?
BRADLEY: If I lose this case...
I might lose my job and I won't be able to pay for rent.
I'll lose my car
My life as we know will be over.
RYAN: It won't be over. I--
I'm here, and I can do everything I can to help.
BRADLEY: Or you could just move on.
RYAN: What?
Move on'?
I'm not moving on.
Unless I--
Are you?
BRADLEY: No. No!
RYAN: Bradley, are you chatting online with other guys?
BRADLEY: No.
RYAN: I don't mean now. I just mean, in general.
BRADLEY: Yeah.
RYAN: And do you webcam with them too?
BRADLEY: Sometimes.
It's just an escape.
It's the only time I can forget about my problems.
RYAN: Are there any that you're interested in?
BRADLEY: Of course not.
No. Isn't that obvious?
RYAN: Isn't what obvious?
BRADLEY: I'm crazy about you.
RYAN: I'm crazy about you too.
I miss you.
BRADLEY: I miss you so much.
RYAN: When are you coming to see me?
BRADLEY: What are you doing Friday?
RYAN: Valentine's Day?
BRADLEY: Oh, we could meet another day then.
RYAN: No, let's do it then.
BRADLEY: Okay.
Friday.
RYAN: Okay, great.
Take care of yourself
BRADLEY: All right. Have a good night.
RYAN: You too.
[closes laptop]
[phone buzzing]
KELLI: I'm gonna go with
the atonement theories then, Professor Craig.
CRAIG: That sounds good, Kelli.
KELLI: Hi, Ryan! RYAN: Hey, Kelli.
KELLI: I'll see you later, okay? Bye, Professor.
CRAIG: Bye, Kelli.
So how are you doing?
RYAN: I'm doing well.
CRAIG: Well, impress me.
RYAN:Okay. Well, simply put...
Love hurts.
It consumes us.
But when it works, it brings us immense joy.
CRAIG: And?
RYAN: And...
Well, the thing is, it's so difficult for it to work.
If the purpose of love on earth is to reflect God's love,
but it causes so much suffering and it's so difficult,
then what does that say about God?
Why does God give us love
so that we can reflect God's love
if it's only to suffer in the process?
CRAIG: Go on.
RYAN: Okay. So my goal is
to remove the purpose of reflecting God from love.
I want to say that to love without
a teleological structure of understanding love
is still enough.
When we love each other we already love God.
CRAIG: Really?
RYAN: Yes, Professor.
Even if a person does not follow Christ,
if he or she loves, he or she reflects Christ.
RYAN: Oh hey, Lorree! LORREE: Hi.
Do you need flowers for your dad?
RYAN: Oh, no actually. Not today.
In fact, I have my first date ever on Valentine's Day.
LORREE: Ooh, congratulations!
RYAN: Thanks.
So I'm considering getting flowers
but do you guys jack up the prices on Valentine's Day?
LORREE: No, we don't. RYAN: Oh, okay.
Good. [chuckles]
Do you sell out, or anything?
LORREE: Well, I would get here early.
Just to be sure.
RYAN: Thanks for the tip. LORREE: No problem, sweetie.
RYAN: Do you have any plans on Valentine's Day?
LORREE: No, I'll just be working here.
I don't have a date.
RYAN: Oh. LORREE: It's all good.
I prefer it that way.
RYAN: Oh, okay.
KEVIN: Oh, boy.
RYAN: Cruising again? KEVIN: No.
Are you?
RYAN: No.
In fact, I'm actually seeing someone.
KEVIN: Oh, really? RYAN: Mh-hm.
Uh... Hey Kevin, you're in the school of psychology, right?
KEVIN: Yeah.
RYAN: All right. Can I ask you a question?
Her name is Rachel,
I just texted you her number.
She'll see you for half the cost.
BRADLEY: I'd rather die.
RYAN: What? Why?
BRADLEY: My parents sent me to a therapist
when I came out to them.
RYAN: They did? BRADLEY: Yeah.
RYAN: Well, she's not that kind of therapist.
BRADLEY: I just don't wanna go.
I don't wanna bring up all of the memories
I'm trying to forget.
RYAN : Okay.
ANTHONY: Why don't you just find someone else?
RYAN: Like you did with Dat?
Oh Jeff, I'm so sorry, I didn't--
ANTHONY: Jeff knows about Dat.
JEFF: It's okay,
ANTHONY: So why don't you just find someone else, Ryan?
GERALD: Gosh, this is spicy.
ANTHONY: I'm so sick of all those
"protect the family" flyers all over school.
GERALD: What did you expect?
JEFF: I'm curious...
RYAN: What about?
JEFF: Well, you're all studying theology,
why this seminary if it's anti-gay?
ANTHONY: You don't have agree with
everything the seminary subscribes to you.
We came here to explore our beliefs
about various theological topics.
GERALD: Yeah, especially about sex.
ANTHONY: What, virgin boy?
GERALD: Anyway, I like it.
I consider myself a liberal evangelical
and this is one of the best evangelical seminaries
in the world.
RYAN: And I like it because it reminds me to
appreciate my gay buddies.
ANTHONY: Dat's calling me again.
RYAN: I thought you guys are done?
ANTHONY: We are. We're just friends.
RYAN: Are you sure you're ready to be just friends?
ANTHONY: Yes.
RYAN: Jeff's really nice. ANTHONY: I know.
He's so nice.
RYAN: Feeling better? GERALD: Much better.
ANTHONY: And how about you, how are you feeling?
JEFF: I'm better, thanks. ANTHONY: Good. Good.
Okay, which one of you guys wants to drive me
to my dental surgery on Monday?
JEFF: I told you I'll do it.
ANTHONY: No, no, I don't want you to miss work.
RYAN: Well, what time do you have to be there?
ANTHONY: 10:00 in the morning.
GERALD: I have class. Can't you drive yourself?
ANTHONY: No, I'm gonna be sedated after.
Besides, they want me to have a driver.
RYAN: I can do it. I'll take you.
ANTHONY: Thanks, Ryan.
[sighs]
Are you okay?
RYAN: Yes, I'm very well. I'm more than okay.
J" Music J“
EUGENE 'sup?
RYAN: What do you want? EUGENE: What?
RYAN: Well, what's up?
EUGENE: I'm going to propose tonight.
RYAN: On Valentine's Day? EUGENE: Yeah, man.
RYAN: That's original... EUGENE: Well...
It will make it easier to remember our anniversary.
RYAN: The anniversary of your engagement?
EUGENE: Yeah man, well, I mean--
I plan to marry on Valentine's Day too.
RYAN: [scoffs] Isn't it a bit boring?
EUGENE: It is.
But I killed two birds with one stone.
We celebrate Valentine's Day
and our anniversary on the same day.
It's awesome.
RYAN: That's... efficient.
EUGENE: Thanks, man!
RYAN: And boring.
EUGENE: Bitch.
RYAN: You love me.
EUGENE: I do. [chuckles]
Wish me luck?
RYAN: Good luck...
But you don't need it, she's gonna say 'yes'.
EUGENE: I hope so.
[chuckles]
RYAN: I just got out of my last class,
and I'm going to take a quick shower.
Are you on your way?
BRADLEY: I can't leave my bed.
RYAN: Are you still depressed?
BRADLEY: [sighs] Yes.
RYAN: Do you want me to come there?
BRADLEY: No, no, don't come here.
RYAN: Why not?
BRADLEY: 'Cause I don't want you to see me like this.
RYAN: It's okay. BRADLEY: It's not okay.
I'm so sorry, but can we postpone?
RYAN: When, though? BRADLEY: Next week?
Saturday?
RYAN: I can't. I'm seeing my morn on Saturday.
BRADLEY: Right. Friday, then?
RYAN : Okay.
BRADLEY: I'm sorry.
RYAN: That's all right.
RYAN: I'll talk to you later. BRADLEY: Okay.
[exhales]
GERALD: Are you sure he isn't just stringing you along?
RYAN: I don't know.
He claims that he misses me.
GERALD: So?
Actions speak louder than words.
RYAN: I know.
GERALD: Do you love him?
RYAN: I don't know.
I desire him.
I Wish I didn't.
I wish I had no desire.
I miss his smell.
Can you believe we chatted for a year before meeting?
And when we finally met,
he was everything I expected and more.
It's as if he could read my mind,
tell how I was feeling...
And I've never known anyone like that before.
I think there is something special there.
GERALD: But he keeps postponing.
RYAN: I know. I feel so stupid!
GERALD: You are far from stupid.
RYAN: I just want to be with him.
RYAN: I'm sorry. GERALD: It's okay.
RYAN: Are you okay? GERALD: Yeah.
I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed.
RYAN: Seriously? GERALD: Yeah.
RYAN: What's wrong?
GERALD: Let's just change the topic.
RYAN: Why?
RYAN: Are you okay? GERALD: He is selfish.
He's toying with you, he's insincere.
He sneaks around online, doesn't fulfill his promises.
RYAN : Okay.
GERALD: Okay.
Bed time.
RYAN: Gerald, what is going on?
GERALD: Please don't act like you don't know.
RYAN: Know what?
[chuckles]
GERALD: Do I need to state the obvious?
RYAN: Yes! Please.
GERALD: You like to hear it, right?
RYAN: Hear what?
GERALD: I love you.
RYAN: You love me?
GERALD: You know I do. Don't deny it.
[sighs] Feels good to say it out loud, though.
I've--
I've always loved you.
[chuckles]
Nothing to say'?
It's okay.
I'm going to bed.
Lock the door on your way out please.
RYAN: How was your Valentine's Day?
ANTHONY: [clears throat] Jeff was out of town. I saw Dat.
RYAN: You did? ANTHONY: Yeah.
RYAN: What did you guys do?
ANTHONY: You know, we just hung out.
Saw a movie.
RYAN: Did you guys have sex?
[Anthony sighs]
ANTHONY: Yes. RYAN: You're kidding me!
ANTHONY: I know.
RYAN: What about Jeff?
JEFF: Hey Anthony, it's Jeff again. Um...
I was just calling to see how you're doing.
And I hope that evrything is going well, and--
Just give me a call back whenever you get this
so I'll know you're okay.
Okay'? Bye.
[phone buzzing]
RYAN: Hello?
JEFF: Hey Ryan. This is Jeff. I got your number from Anthony.
I hope you don't mind.
RYAN: No, not at all. Hi, Jeff.
JEFF: How's he doing?
RYAN: He should be out of surgery soon.
[door opens]
RYAN: Let's get you to bed.
Okay, I gotta run some errands.
But I'm gonna pick some food up for you, all right?
ANTHONY: Aw, thanks.
RYAN: All right. Sweet dreams.
LORREE: Hi Ryan, I didn't see you come in.
Can I help you with something?
RYAN: Actually, I'm just browsing.
I might need something for Saturday.
LORREE: Gotcha. Well, just take your time.
RYAN: Thanks.
LORREE: Hey, how did your date like the flowers?
RYAN: Oh, good. Yeah, it was really good.
LORREE: Good. That's great.
RYAN: Actually we're going through a rough patch right now.
LORREE: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
RYAN: Yeah, it sucks.
LORREE: See, that's why I stay out of relationships.
They're too much trouble.
RYAN: Tell me about it.
[phone buzzing]
I'm sorry. Excuse me, I have to take this.
LORREE: Don't worry about it. I'll see you later.
RYAN: Hello. JEFF: Hey Ryan, it's Jeff again.
RYAN: Hey, Jeff. What's up?
JEFF: I was wondering how Anthony is doing,
he hasn't been answering his phone.
ANTHONY: Jeff is coming.
RYAN: Oh good. He'd been calling me.
ANTHONY: Yeah. I know.
RYAN: So...
Are you gonna tell him?
ANTHONY: Yes.
RYAN: And then what, ask him for forgiveness?
ANTHONY: Yeah. Of course.
RYAN : Okay.
[knocking on door]
JEFF: Hey, Ryan. RYAN: Hey, how are you doing?
JEFF: Good. RYAN: I was just on my way out.
JEFF: Oh, you don't have to leave.
RYAN: Oh no, please. I'm off the clock.
It's your turn.
JEFF: I'll walk you out. I gotta smoke anyway.
RYAN: Oh okay.
RYAN: Later, Anthony. ANTHONY: Bye!
JEFF: I'll see you in a bit, honey.
Sorry for bombarding you with all those calls.
RYAN: It was only three calls, Jeff.
JEFF: Still.
RYAN: Don't worry about it, really.
JEFF: Well, thank you.
RYAN: Seriously, you can call me anytime.
JEFF: Thanks. Sure you don't wanna stay for a bit?
RYAN: Oh no, I can't. I really gotta work on my thesis.
JEFF: Okay.
See you later. Thanks again.
RYAN: No problem. Bye, Jeff.
[exhales]
J" Music J“
RYAN: How can love be a gift be a gift from God
when it causes so much pain?
CRAIG: That's just a part of it, Ryan.
You have to look at it holistically.
RYAN: Yeah, but when you suffer from love,
that's all you can do at the time.
CRAIG: Right.
RYAN: So how can it be a gift from God?
CRAIG: You tell me.
RYAN: Well...
The only way I can redeem love
as a deliberate placement by God to humanity
is to use the idea that
the pain we suffer is the same as God's.
CRAIG: Go on.
RYAN: Okay...
Well, according to Moltmann's "The Crucified God"
he notes that God yearns for our love.
But we don't always give it to him.
And that is the pain that God suffers.
However...
We will rectify that with God, in time.
But until then, it's the pain of delayed parousia.
CRAIG: So you want to justify our suffering
with God's suffering?
RYAN: Yeah. I hope to.
CRAIG: Okay. Do you have any pages for me?
RYAN: Oh, urn, yes.
Sorry.
CRAIG: That-- This is it?
RYAN: Yeah.
CRAIG: Okay, Ryan.
This quarter is almost over. This isn't even halfway.
RYAN: I know.
CRAIG: Okay...
Take these. Take them.
Come back next week with 10 more pages.
All right? Now go. Work.
[birds chirping]
KEVIN: Hey.
RYAN : Hey.
KEVIN: How's your dating coming along?
[Ryan chuckles]
RYAN: I find myself repeatedly trying to forgive him.
And hoping that he'll keep his word.
But...
He's been nonresponsive and he's postponed, so...
KEVIN: Why don't you just move on?
RYAN: You think I should?
KEVIN: I don't know.
But clearly you won't.
There's gotta be a good reason.
RYAN: You're right.
But I don't know what it is.
KEVIN: I'm sure you do.
[sighs]
RYAN: Because...
Because I have faith it'll work.
KELLI: Look!
RYAN: Good, now you know your suffering wasn't in vain.
KELLI: Thanks?
EUGENE: You okay, pal?
RYAN: Yeah.
You guys are in love, right?
KELLI: Yeah, of course. EUGENE: Yes.
RYAN: Okay, okay, you don't have to prove it or anything.
KELLI: Ryan, what's wrong? RYAN: Nothing.
All I'm saying is that
the suffering God gave you for love was worth it.
It paid off. You found each other.
EUGENE: God does not give us suffering.
That's something we inflict on ourselves.
RYAN: Yeah, by needing love.
KELLI: God's love is more than sufficient.
He provides us with enough--
RYAN: I know, I know.
But...
I'm sorry, it's just not enough.
I need another human being to love me too.
KELLI: Well, then you've never understood God's love.
RYAN: Then why are you guys getting married?
EUGENE: Because God wants us to get married.
We're obedient to God.
RYAN: This is going nowhere.
KELLI: Well, that's because you don't have a valid point.
RYAN: Okay. Your obedience is to the nature
that God created within us.
This nature causes some of us to suffer.
KELLI: The nature you're talking about
is a result of the fall.
RYAN: Oh, and our all-knowing God
didn't know that the fall would occur?
It wasn't part of his masterplan?
EUGENE: It was,
That's what makes God so good, man.
He gave us free will despite us going against him.
RYAN: Okay, see that...
That's what I hate about theology.
EUGENE: What?
RYAN: Theology is justifying senseless beliefs
with elaborate pontifications.
Isn't it easier just to say,
God was not good in making us need love
and hence, suffering?
EUGENE: Dude...
Why are you still in seminary?
KELLI: Why are you still a Christian?
RYAN: Because my faith isn't narrow.
I gotta go,
Anthony, wait up.
Did Jeff forgive you?
ANTHONY: Shush! Not so loud.
RYAN: Well, tell me.
ANTHONY: Okay, he is gone.
ANTHONY: I need to go. RYAN: What?
RYAN: [indistinct] ANTHONY: No, no.
ANTHONY: Look... RYAN: Do you need to talk?
ANTHONY: No, I just need to be alone right now.
J" Music J“
EUGENE: Something's up with Ryan.
KELLI: Yeah, I know. I'll talk to him.
J" Music J“
RYAN: Hey, Mom.
CINDY: What brings you here, dear?
RYAN: Well, it's Dad's anniversary.
CINDY: Yes, but I thought I told you not to come.
RYAN: I know.
But I really want to go.
RYAN: Hey. KELLI: Hey, you wanna talk?
RYAN: Um... Okay.
Sure.
KELLI: Do you wanna go watch a movie with me and Eugene?
RYAN: Yeah, okay.
As long as it's not depressing.
KELLI: Of course. How's next Thursday sound?
RYAN: Yeah, that's fine.
KELLI: Ryan, are you okay?
RYAN: No, actually, I'm not.
KELLI: Why'?
RYAN: It's this fucking thesis.
I know I want to do a good job
I know I want to go to Yale.
And I know I want to teach.
But I'm just not motivated.
KELLI: I'm sorry, Ryan.
RYAN: It's okay.
KELLI: Is there anything outside bothering you?
RYAN: Outside? KELLI: Yeah.
RYAN: Like what? Outside what?
KELLI: I mean, romantically.
RYAN: Romantically?
KELLI: Yeah, are you seeing anyone?
RYAN: Am I? I don't know.
KELLI: What do you mean, you don't know?
RYAN: I just-- I don't know.
KELLI: Well, who is she?
RYAN: Actually, if you must know,
his name is Bradley
and he is supposed to come see me tonight.
KELLI: So you're gay?
RYAN: Yup.
KELLI: You know...
When I was with Eugene, I was attracted to a girl once
but thankfully I didn't make that choice.
RYAN: It's not a choice, Kelli.
It's God's creation.
KELLI: Adam and Eve were God's creation.
RYAN: Okay, you should know better
than to argue from Genesis.
KELLI: And what about Romans...?
RYAN: Did it ever occur to you
that Paul just might be wrong sometimes?
KELLI: No, Ryan! You are backsliding.
[Ryan scoffs]
RYAN: Nice one, Kelli.
KELLI: I still love you.
RYAN: I love you too, sister.
[ringing]
BRADLEY: Hi. RYAN: Hey.
BRADLEY: How are you?
RYAN: I'm good.
I was just wondering when you're gonna get here.
BRADLEY: Can we please postpone?
RYAN: What? Why?
BRADLEY: I'm just not happy.
And I'm not good to be around right now.
RYAN: Well, when will you be good to be around?
BRADLEY: I don't know.
RYAN: Look...
Am I ever gonna see you again?
BRADLEY: I hope so.
RYAN: You hope so?
Bradley...
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
BRADLEY: I'm sorry.
Please don't give me any more stress.
RYAN: I just want to know if we'll ever meet again.
BRADLEY: I'm gonna start crying again,
can we please talk later?
RYAN : Okay.
GERALD: Hey, this is Gerald.
Leave me a message and I'll call you right back.
RYAN: Hey, Gerald.
It's over with Bradley.
I'm done.
I feel like shit.
J" Music J“
RYAN: Mom? CINDY: Yes, dear?
RYAN: Did you ever think of finding somebody?
CINDY: Finding somebody?
RYAN: Yeah.
CINDY: Who wants to date an old hag like me?
[laughter]
RYAN:I don't know. Older gentlemen?
[laughter]
RYAN: Don't you miss having a partner?
CINDY: I do, but when I think of a partner,
I still think of your Dad.
Why do you ask?
RYAN: Nothing, just wondering.
CINDY: I'm fine. Just worry about yourself.
RYAN: Bye, Mom. CINDY: Bye, sweetie.
[locks door]
[groans]
[breathing heavily]
[water running]
[exhales]
[turns on shower]
[knocking on door]
GERALD: Ryan, are you here?
RYAN: Yes, I'm here.
GERALD: How are you?
RYAN: I finished my thesis.
GERALD: Already? RYAN: Yes.
Celebrate with me'?
GERALD: Okay.
RYAN: Really?
Gerald, you've always been so nice to me.
GERALD: Well, the secret is out. [chuckles]
You know how jealous I was of Bradley?
RYAN: Kiss me.
GERALD: Kiss you?
RYAN: Yes, please.
RYAN: Kiss me. GERALD: Are you sure?
RYAN: [whispering] Yes.
GERALD: You know, I want to so badly.
[exhales]
RYAN: You smell so good.
Why aren't you kissing me back?
Well...'?
GERALD: Because if Bradley called you right now...
You'd leave me to see him.
RYAN: He wouldn't call. It's been three weeks.
GERALD: But what if he did?
RYAN: Please don't go.
Please, Gerald. Please.
GERALD: I'm sorry.
RYAN: Gerald, please.
GERALD: I need to not see you for the sake of my sanity.
You are not the only one suffering, Ryan.
RYAN: My thesis.
CRAIG: The whole thing?
RYAN: Yep.
CRAIG: Well, I knew you would deliver
but I wasn't expecting it this soon.
RYAN: It's due in two weeks anyway.
CRAIG: How did you do it?
RYAN: Well, I haven't really slept much.
CRAIG: I see.
We didn't even discuss your conclusion.
RYAN: I know.
CRAIG: So how does it end?
RYAN: Well, I concluded that love necessitates relationships
And relationships necessitates forgiveness.
At the end of the day,
we have to learn to forgive those
that we are in a relationship with.
Including God.
CRAIG: Ryan?
RYAN: Yeah?
CRAIG: Are you dating someone?
RYAN: Why do you ask?
CRAIG: Well, to be perfectly honest with you,
Someone mentioned that you might be dating a guy.
RYAN: Who said that?
CRAIG: That's not important.
I told that person to keep it to herself.
RYAN: Was it Kelli?
CRAIG: What's crucial though, Ryan
is that you also keep it to yourself.
RYAN: I know.
CRAIG: You're a bright student, have a lot of promise.
I don't want to see you get into any trouble.
RYAN: Thank you.
[phone buzzing]
RYAN: Hey Eugene, are you here yet?
EUGENE: Hey pal, I'm in the library.
RYAN: Well, what are you doing there?
EUGENE: Sorry, man.
I have a huge paper due at 5:00 for Pentateuch.
And, I don't know, I'm still not done yet.
RYAN: Oh. Um, okay. Are we still on for the movie?
EUGENE: Let's postpone to tomorrow.
Kelli will be free.
RYAN: I can't tomorrow. I'm seeing my mom.
EUGENE: Oh.
Damn. Uh...
Let's see...
I have to check with Kelli
and see if she is free on either Monday or Tuesday.
RYAN: You know what? Just forget about it.
EUGENE: No man, I'll check with her. It should be good.
RYAN: No, it's okay.
EUGENE: Bud, we'll watch it next week, okay?
RYAN: No, I don't think so, Eugene.
J" Music J“
GERALD: Hey, this is Gerald.
Leave me a message and I'll call you right back. [beep]
J" Music J“
[unlocks door]
RYAN: Hey, Mom. CINDY: Hey dear, how are you?
RYAN: I'm fine.
CINDY: How's school? RYAN: Good.
[Ryan sniffs]
CINDY: You okay, dear?
What happened?
Did someone hurt you?
[sobbing]
Cry it all out. It's okay.
[sobbing]
I love you.
RYAN: I love you too.
J" Music J“
CINDY: Do you Want to tell me what happened?
RYAN: Do you really want to know?
CINDY: Of course, my dear.
You can tell me anything.
I will always be here for you.
[Sniffs]
RYAN: Okay...
I'll tell you.
J" Music J“
J” Music I