Can I come in?
I really am sorry.
I made an appointment with a counselor
and we can go when you get back.
You are coming back?
I gotta pee.
Jesus Steve, how long have we been driving?
10 hours and 42 minutes.
What, are we going to the North Pole?
Keep your dick in your pants, we'll be there soon.
Mac keep his dick in his pants?
Yeah right.
Fuck off, Dave.
He's got a point there.
Fuck you, too!
Mm, alright, a man and a woman are having sex
in a really dark forest.
Much like the forest we're in now.
Shut up, Josh, I'm telling a joke here!
Now after 15 minutes, the guy steps up and says,
shit, I wish I had a flashlight!
Then the woman says, Yeah, I wish I had a flashlight, too.
You've been eating grass for 10 minutes.
Wait, why was he eating grass?
Alright, three guys go to this cabin,
but there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
Next morning, they wake up.
Guy on the right says, I had this great dream
that I was getting a handjob.
Guy on the left says, crazy, I had the same dream.
I was getting this great handjob.
The guy in the middle wakes up bushy-eyed and says,
guys, I had this great dream that I went skiing last night.
I don't want any of you guys sleeping with me.
Steve, I gotta pee.
What are you, pregnant?
Well howdy.
Hey guys, what can I get for you?
Feels like I...
Stepped into a movie.
Did you come here to decorate or drink?
I vote for drinking.
Oh, good choice.
Jesus, can we get a fucking drink?
Four whiskeys, straight up.
You got it.
I gotta use the bathroom, please.
Shitter's in the back.
So, where you all heading.
Hunting trip.
Two legs or four legs?
What do you guys do around here?
Drink.
Fuck.
Sounds like my kinda town.
Nice song, faggot.
Hm, guess she wasn't kidding.
Couple of beers.
Sure.
Fucking Mac!
I'm gonna go give, um, Maggie a call.
You keep an eye on him, okay?
No problem Steve.
You know the ladies room is right next door?
Hey, it's Maggie, sorry I missed you.
Leave me a message, though, and I'll call you right back.
Hey Maggie, it's me.
I figured you wouldn't answer.
I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry.
So I, um, hear you guys like to drink
and fuck around here?
You talk too much.
What the fuck are you doing with my lady?
Oh Ed, calm down, we're just having some fun.
I'm not talking to you, bitch.
Whoa, who you calling a bitch, bitch?
Well punch him, Ed!
You gotta get in here, Steve!
Right now, Steve!
Hey, nobody's punching anybody, Ed.
Hey hey hey, whoa whoa whoa, wait now.
Just, hey, just, everyone just take it easy.
You fucking assholes!
You take your shit outside
before I fill you full of lead holes!
We just, we're going.
Okay, we're just, we're leaving.
Yeah, you're leaving.
Thank you so much for all of your hospitality.
What the fuck?
Ahhh!
Where the hell are we?
Where nobody can find us.
Beautiful, great spot, Steve.
Our palace for the weekend, boys.
Glad its to your liking, gentlemen.
Do we have to play for real money?
Oh, Jesus Christ, Josh.
Don't be such a pussy.
Well, how much is it?
How much you bring?
$500.
That'll work!
Ante up, ladies.
This is, this is nice.
This is cozy.
Alright, flip 'em over Steve.
Texas Hold 'Em, bitches.
Okay so, this is poker, right?
Yeah, it's poker, Josh.
It's what you haven't done with your wife in years.
Ha ha ha, how would you know what I do with my wife?
He's just fucking with you, Josh.
Alright, $100 ladies.
A hundred dollars?
Just bet.
You're a fucking bluffer, Mac.
It's too rich for my blood.
How chickenshit.
Seven of hearts.
Seven of hearts, alright, another hundred.
You know, there really should be a limit
to how much we can bet.
Alright.
Last card, Jacky Jack.
Pass.
I knew it, you got dick, Matt.
You are looking at the big winner.
200.
What, just a second ago, you said we should have a limit.
Okay, I'll see your two hundred and raise you a hundred.
Two pair, Jacks and sevens.
Josh, what the fuck are you doing?
Dave should throw down first.
Oh, alright.
Go ahead.
Your hard-on moment is over, Josh.
Aces and 10s, gents, come to papa!
Keep the hard on in your pants, Dave.
We're not over yet, because there's one, two,
three little beauties, three threes.
Holy shit!
That's what winning looks like, fellas.
Oh my God, oh my God!
I just lost $500.
Fuck this game!
Welcome to poker!
Oh my God, Oh my God.
Give me your fucking cards.
Oh!
Hey man.
How you doing, Steve?
Not so good at home.
Oh shit.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You ever talk to Maggie?
You got nothing to worry about.
What do you mean?
Well, the girl's crazy about you.
She ever fuck anybody, Mac?
What am I gonna tell Jenny?
Jesus Christ, be a fucking man, Josh.
It's $500.
I don't make your kind of money.
I don't know, just tell her to fuck off or something.
What kind of talk is that?
Okay, I'm just playing with you.
You make your own money, right?
Okay, I get it.
Sounds like a bear.
I don't think so.
Holy shit.
I wonder.
Wonder what?
Let's just get some rest.
What are you laughing at?
Drop your cocks and grab your socks, boys!
We got hunting to do!
The only hunting that I do is when I play video games.
Ha!
Here.
Oh.
Mm.
You ever think about getting married?
You ever think about getting divorced?
No.
Honestly?
No.
Bullshit.
No, my wife is hot.
Okay, but why would I get married when I can do
what I want when I want to do it?
Makes sense.
Yeah.
So here's to Josh and his happy marriage.
Hot wife.
Mm.
Whoa.
Oh, ha ha, whew!
Let's walk that off.
What's in there?
Is that, uh, Rumpelman's?
This place is dead.
Not even a squirrel.
How are you and Shelly doing?
Good, good.
Maggie and I, we ain't doing so good.
Really, what's going on?
You didn't know?
You see that?
See what?
I don't know.
Looked like people, but.
What?
All this fresh air's getting to me.
What the fuck?
Oh no no, no, no.
Holy shit!
Dudes, we got a fucking psychopath out here!
Guys!
This is not good.
Who would do this?
What are you doing?
I'm gonna butter bread.
What the fuck does it look like I'm gonna do.
Man, you just can't go around killing people.
Does anyone live around here?
Yeah, what if there's like a community of weirdos.
Like that movie with the banjo and the bridge.
Just relax, nobody's gonna fuck you in the ass.
Seriously though, how are we gonna get out of here.
How far back was it to the highway?
A bit.
Come on, let's go.
It's probably just some punk kids.
What kids?
Wait, did you bring your phone?
No.
Fuck!
Well how far is the highway?
What does that matter if we don't have a fucking phone?
Look, I'm gonna go back to the cabin and go grab mine.
Keep your eyes out.
Yeah.
Holy shit!
Have a drink, relax.
Nah, it's too early for that.
How we gonna get out of here.
Here's how its gonna go.
Steve and Dave are gonna walk to the highway.
From the highway, they'll call for help.
From the highway, their cell phones will work.
That's right!
They'll tell the police where we are and the cavalry arrives
to save the day.
That's good, that's good!
It is good.
Alright, thank you.
What are you doing, where's Dave?
Forgot my phone.
I was gonna call you, but.
Steve, wait up.
Where's Dave.
Got a problem.
Did you find who did it?
We got a problem on our hands.
What do you mean?
That is not a bear print.
A big fucking guy or a.
I know what this is.
This is a fucking Sasquatch.
I say we track this fucker down.
Now you're talking.
It fucked up our jeep.
No, no no no no no.
You guys are crazy.
Well boys, looks like we've found our big hunt.
Can't we just get out of here?
First we bag the motherfucker, then we'll get some help.
I'll drink to that.
Is that all you do is drink?
Is that all you do is whine?
Here's to bagging Bigfoot.
Give me one!
Sure.
Did you hear that?
What the fuck is that?
It's a kid.
You killed a kid.
Self-defense.
He's right, Josh.
Shouldn't we call the cops or something?
Yeah, you should call the cops.
Why don't you use your cell phone.
While you're at it, see if the can give us
a ride back into town.
So now what?
It ain't over.
What do you mean?
We killed a kid, now we gotta deal with Daddy.
Alright, just sit down, we'll drink some beers,
play some cards, and we'll deal with it in the morning.
I'm not gonna just sit down and drink beers
and play cards right now.
Are you serious?
He's looking for his kid.
Oh fuck.
We gotta take him out.
Where they going?
Guess they're going to get Daddy.
Well what the fuck are we supposed to do.
I brought some porn.
Oh my God, I don't feel well.
You okay?
No!
Okay, okay.
We are never getting out of this alive, Mac.
Jesus, we've got guns.
We don't have guns, they have got guns.
How does your wife put up with you?
Look, we'll bag the beast.
We'll all go home.
And then we'll wind up on the cover
of fucking National Geographic Magazine.
How's that?
First off, I don't even think they publish that anymore,
and second...
Fuck you, Mac!
You probably think I'm an asshole.
Oh you're an asshole.
You know he's watching us.
You fucking crazy, what's the matter with you?
What the fuck, Steve?
What the fuck are you doing, Steve?
Stop this shit, Steve, or I'll put a bullet
right in your fucking head!
Mac, Mac, Mac, wake up, wake up, Mac!
You motherfucker, wake up!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Okay, okay, what if, what are they even doing?
What if it got them?
That means he'd be coming back here, Mac,
you motherfucker
He's coming back here, and I don't have any weapons.
We, we have a fire, we have a fucking fire,
firewood, ax, ax in the shed, ax in the shed!
You got this, you got this, motherfucker, you got this!
Okay, okay, you can do this, Josh.
You've fucking got this, Josh, okay, okay.
Mac, you drunk motherfucker.
If you can hear me, you tell my wife that I love her.
Mm.
Okay, Josh has got this.
Josh has got this.
Josh has got this shit.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Thank God!
Where's Dave?
What's wrong, Steve?
Where's Dave?
That shit came out of nowhere.
Big ugly motherfucker.
Oh my God, we gotta get out of here.
Steve, we have to get the fuck outta here right now.
My cell phone is gone.
What?
My fucking cell phone is gone!
What are we gonna do, Steve?
We need a plan, we gotta get out of here.
We need to get up to the highway and...
Just calm the fuck down!
We got a firearm.
You got a pitchfork, ax.
Hey hey, hey hey, my phone's in the jeep.
I'm gonna grab it.
What's the point?
Guys, get the fuck out here right now.
You guys, you guys, the body's gone.
It's gone.
Christ, he's been here.
We're gonna kill him, right Steve?
Yeah.
Guys, my fucking cell phone is gone.
Okay, well what do we do now?
We'll let him come to us.
I think this is gonna work.
What if it doesn't?
Then we put you outside as bait.
You got a better idea?
This is weird without Dave.
Yeah, well if this doesn't work, we join him.
How are you and your wife doing?
What?
You and Jenny, how you doing?
We're fine, we're fine.
How do you make it work, you and Jenny.
I don't, I don't know, do we have to talk
about this right now?
My wife and I, Maggie and I.
I didn't know.
You didn't know?
No.
Maggie, she wants me to go to counseling.
You believe that shit?
Jenny and I, we talk a lot.
I mean, I mean, you know me, I never shut up,
I just, I tell her everything.
That seems to work.
Yeah.
I should do more of that.
He wants us to come outside.
No, no!
Let's give him what he wants.
That's his shirt.
That's it, I can't do this.
I can't do this, we gotta go back,
we gotta go back, I can't...
You wanna get the fuck out of here or not?
Yes.
He's losing his fucking mind.
I have to get him back to the cabin.
Be careful.
Where are you, you motherfucker?
These are my kills.
My kills, you understand me?
You bastard!
Josh, I need you to snap out of it.
Here, drink this.
Josh.
Josh!
Snap out of it!
Help me get him to bed.
I'm sorry that I have feelings,
and that you're just this fucking angel, I'm sorry.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
I'm sorry that I failed...
I don't want to hear anymore!
Do you understand me?
I don't want to fucking hear it anymore.
All your little fucking excuses, you little fucking cunt!
Why?
Hands off me, get your hands off!
Oh, this is my kind of party, Mac, drinking and fucking,
drinking and fucking, whew!
Mmm, yahoo!
What is it, what the fuck?
Come on, you bastard!
He's lost his fucking mind.
I'll go get him.
Where are you?
You fucker!
Where are you?
Oh!
What happened?
You don't look so good.
I am your friend.
You are my friend.
I am your friend.
You didn't tell me.
I wanted to tell you.
You didn't tell me!
I wanted to tell you.
I did, I wanted to tell you.
I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do.
It was eating me up, I didn't know what to do.
Get up.
I'm sorry, Steve.
Get up!
You're gonna kill me, aren't you.
I'm sorry, Steve, I don't want.
Run!
Fuck you, just do it!
Fuck you, Steve!
Run!
What the fuck is going on out there?
What the fuck happened?
I couldn't do anything.
First Dave, then Josh.
Mac, I tried everything.
I found this outside, it's mine.
It was fucking here, Steve.
Here, drink this.
We gotta get that arrow out.
Bite down on this.
This is gonna hurt.
Alright.
I am not fucking dying out here, Steve.
I am not fucking dying out here.
Yes, you are.
Can I come in?
I really am sorry.
I made an appointment for us for a counselor,
and we can go see her when you get back.
You are coming back?
You had that this whole time.
You fucked my wife.
Big Mac, you always got the chick, didn't you.
I never said anything, I was like, good for Mac.
Until I met Maggie.
But you couldn't let just have one, could you?
Just one.
You've been a shitty husband, Steve.
What the fuck do you know about being a husband?
It's a good thing you never got married,
'cause you'd probably fuck them over, too, huh?
I've been a good friend.
She came to me as a friend.
'Cause you, you were never around.
If it wasn't me, it would've been someone else.
You, a friend?
That's what friends do, they fuck each other now?
Is that it?
I guess so 'cause that's exactly what you did.
My wife, you fucked Maggie.
You fucked me.
Now I'm gonna fuck you.
You're right.
Steve, you're fucking right.
I'm the asshole.
I'm the fucking asshole.
But this, all of this.
You are my friend.
My best friend.
My best man!
I can't take back what I did.
I can't undo what I did.
And for that, I'm sorry.
For that, I'm sorry.
Me too, man.
Me too.
What was I supposed to do?
What was I supposed to do, Steve, huh?
What did you want me to do?
What did you want me to say?
Hey Steve, what do you think about them Seahawks?
You think they're gonna overcome those challenges
with the offensive line?
Oh, by the way, Mac's been fucking your wife?
I have a fucking spear in my chest.
Oh!
Sweaters, right?
How cold do you think it's gonna be?
I don't know, Josh, where you going?
I don't know.
Steve said something about a cabin,
but he also said to bring cash, so I'm hoping it's Reno.
How many sweaters do you think I need?
Reno?
Umm, you really think you should be going to Reno?
I mean it's not like we have money
to be throwing around, huh?
I know, I know, but we go every year.
You know, it's not like I can just say no.
That's nice.
I wanted to go to Reno!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, help!
Help, help, help!
Open the door!
Hello, please!
I need help.
My friend, he tried to kill me, and then there was
this Sasquatch spear-throwing monster thing.
There was a very unfortunate hunting accident.
I need help, open the door.
I just need a fucking break.
Hello?
Fuck!
I'm in his fucking house.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Oh.
Come on, you fucker!
Ah, no!
Stop!
Stop, stop, stop!
Stop, stop!
Stop!
Oh, oh!
Thank you, thank you!
Thank you!
I didn't think you were gonna stop.
Thank you for stopping.
Oh, fuck me!
Action!
Honey, we didn't go to Reno.
Subtitles by explosiveskull