On the pathways of life,
sometimes the road is bumpy.
And sometimes the terrain is rough.
Not today.
When you need help getting back on track.
Oh.
Hi, I thought you might be hungry.
Mm, thanks.
- Why, thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Sour cream and onion?
Gross.
So.
How's the wife?
Your mother's doing very well, thank you.
Ugh, Dad, fried plantain and curry soup
is not a girl's best friend, ew.
How long do you plan to keep camping out here, kid?
Until Michael quits being a royal a-hole.
Then I'm sure racking up a big hotel bill
will do wonders for your husband's disposition.
It's fine, I used your card.
Excuse me?
You know, the one with all the airline mile things,
so in a way, you're welcome.
That's not okay.
All right.
I'm not gonna be around forever to bail you out.
You gotta figure out
what you're gonna do with your life, kid.
- I can't find a job, so... - Finish school.
Look, I'm just
I'm waiting to hear
if I'm gonna volunteer at the cat shelter.
- Ah, Jesus, Lindsey. - What?
I'd get to work with special needs cats and kittens.
And maybe I'll even be able to keep one or two for free.
For free, okay, come on.
Walk your old man out, got a plane to catch.
I'm coming.
That was a gift from a very special student in Kyoto.
It's Jizo, protector of women, children, and travelers.
Now, traditionally, turn around,
traditionally, you take Jizo statues
and you put 'em in intersections and paths,
and it always tells you the right way to go.
I thought that would be appropriate.
Does Mom know you're giving this to me?
It's kinda really beautiful.
Mom doesn't have to know everything.
This one's between you and me.
Look,
when I get back from the climb,
can we all get together as a family and talk?
And we are live with Dr. Montgomery Lou
as he discusses saving the world,
one remote village at a time.
Dr. Lou, tell us about your next adventure.
Lindsey, I'm trying to be serious here.
Well, it sounds like I should film then.
If you're being serious.
I mean it.
This is the last time.
Your mother and I love you very much,
but you're never gonna learn anything
if we don't stop doing this.
Why don't you take me on your next adventure then?
Yeah, it will be so much fun.
I can be your assistant.
You wanna go
- on my next adventure, huh? - Mm-hmm.
What if it's too dangerous?
Well, why don't you go to places
like Palm Springs or Key West?
Because the University won't pay for those.
I know.
Guess I'd better stay stay here then, huh?
In case you need me to bail you out, right?
Right.
Go see your mother.
She misses you.
And I'm gonna miss you.
But I'll be back.
Thanks, Dad.
- I - love you, kiddo.
I love you, too.
Should have called a caterer.
You got the dessert tray, right?
Uh-huh.
I've got something, I've got it under control, it's fine.
Have a cookie, Mom.
Be ready for many pleasures in the near future.
Great.
In bed.
You know, after you read a fortune, you say, no?
The shrimp looks beautiful, babe.
How's Miss Lou holding up?
Good.
Any thoughts on going back to school?
Follow in your father's footsteps?
Uh, I'm not really the professor type.
He's a tough act to follow.
You're probably busy with your career.
Uh, no, not really, not anything, yeah.
Well, it was probably some 20 years ago
I went to the Atacama Desert with your father.
A trailblazer in geological studies.
He will be sorely missed.
Thanks.
Liam, did you tell your Aunt Sandy how you're leaving me?
I'm performing for six weeks in Vienna.
Liam, that's wonderful.
Did you hear that JoJo?
Lil' Leelee is going to France.
Osterreich.
We've got a significant following in Europe.
Mm.
It's nothing, really, I just play from the heart.
What's the deal with Liam?
Is he serious about her or what?
I don't know, why?
Your brother's hot.
Look at him.
Are you okay?
Gross.
He's your cousin, think about that.
Hey.
Any luck?
This one was starting to bend but then you came in.
Right.
You think Dad's gonna come back and haunt us?
Seriously?
Okay, not haunt, but visit us?
Check in and make sure we're okay?
Look, they haven't even confirmed he's dead.
He could still be alive, stuck up on that mountain,
waiting for someone to find him.
Then why'd we have a funeral?
Because Mom likes throwing parties.
Hey, Linds, you have, um, gas in your car?
Uh, someone will be there soon.
There was a mix-up at the funeral home.
Apparently we have Ming Lu.
No.
I really need you to do this.
Oh, this is so stupid.
Come on, I can't ask Monty.
It's too much for him, I gotta be here with Mom.
Lindsey, please.
This has been hard on all of us, you know.
We didn't get to say goodbye to him, either.
They couldn't even supply a photo or properly ID him...
Lindsey, don't.
I'm going to be gone for almost two months.
Mom needs a lot of support.
Now, just be the daughter she never had, okay?
That's all I'm asking.
So this is a little more information on the process.
I really hope you'll use our services...
Hello there.
Thank you, this is yours.
If it means anything, they're both in heaven.
Right.
Hey!
Hey, come on, that's my car, man!
Come on, don't do this to me.
Oh!
Ugh.
Great, a walker.
What do ya think, DUI?
Working girl?
Maybe both.
Pay attention, boys.
Let me show ya how a real man gets the job done.
Excuse me, miss?
May I ask you a question?
Why you walking when you should be driving?
Pretty girl like you liable to cause an accident
making all these men swerve their trucks
to get a better look at ya.
Jerome Carlyle, and you are?
Lindsey.
Lindsey, I like that, it's got a nice ring to it.
Now is that Lind-say or Lind-see?
Just Lindsey.
Well, Just Lindsey, you can call me Jerry, with a Y.
Hey, boys, this pretty lady here needs a vehicle.
Let's help her out.
Tell you what
I'll give a call down to the tow company
and I'll have your car back faster
than a jack rabbit in heat.
My life is in that car.
I know, I'll get ya taken care of.
That's the Jerry Carlyle promise.
'Cause I'm not taking care of customers,
I'm taking care of friends.
Mm, yeah, I've seen your commercials.
Maybe you recognize me from my TV show.
Back to back Emmys in '98 and '99.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, Troy Thunderton?
That's it.
Oh, oh, uh, where there's Thunder?
There's a ton of lightning.
You may not need a car right now but when you're ready,
I want you to remember me.
Yeah.
- Yeah, I will, thanks. - Thank you.
This is too weird.
Oh.
Thank you.
Lind-see.
Hey, you think you've had enough there, Mom, come on.
Look, I don't want you to worry about any of this, right?
We'll take care of it.
I told him not to go, he insisted.
It was work.
That's who Dad was.
Everest was always on his list.
Can we get a dog?
A dog's a lot of responsibility, Mont.
I don't even know when the bills are due.
He had several accounts.
He never trusted me with anything.
Mom, Mom, Lindsey can help.
Really, Liam, with what?
By drinking all my wine?
She's got nothing going on and she can help.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
We gotta get going.
- Postpone your vacation. - It's a European tour.
You can't just cancel a European tour.
He has a lot of fans overseas.
I'll call you from the airport.
Caroline, just remember
you're a shining star of love and peace.
Leave, just like your father.
All right, all right.
I'll give you a call, all right?
Lindsey, you heading out?
No, I thought I'd stay here tonight, family time.
Sign the divorce papers yet?
No.
- Why not? - Not now, Liam.
If it's over, let's just get it over with
so she can get on with her life.
She's gonna have a lot to do
to get her feet back on the ground.
Okay, I'm standing right here.
Look, just do something with your life.
Mom, can you please tell Liam to shut up?
We don't say that in this house.
You know that.
Sign the papers, just do it.
Mont, you're the man of the house now,
so take care of Mom.
See ya.
Well.
Good to have you, Lindsey.
Better late than never.
No more chips.
Can you please set the alarm?
That was your dad's job.
You just press the button.
Yeah, you figured it out.
He'd be really proud.
Hey, Linds, what are you doing tomorrow?
The last time we hung out was at my graduation
and you were fighting with Michael.
We'll see.
I have a lot going on.
You sound like Dad.
Good.
Have you thought about college or work?
My palm reader said my gift is really strong
and I just need to harness my powers.
See that?
That means that I'm intuitive
and have a keen sixth sense.
And that one means that destiny will dictate my life.
I don't have that line on my hand.
She probably just told you that.
It's a science, Lindsey.
No two palms are alike.
They're like snowflakes.
Don't be dumb, Monty.
It's just like practicing the kazoo.
I really need to focus and get better.
I moved up here abut 20 years ago, started the dealership,
and I've been here ever since.
Well, speak of the devil.
You didn't tell me your car got towed.
Surprise.
How are you gonna pay for that?
You owe this gentleman a great deal of gratitude.
You must be Monty.
Holy smokes, you're the Thunderton guy.
Yeah, well, I left that life behind a while ago.
It was fun while it lasted.
You two used to watch him nonstop.
I remember.
Well, um, thank you again for all that you've done.
It's, uh, crazy here and I haven't had much help.
That's all right, no need to explain.
I do need to get back to the dealership, though.
I'm kinda like the mother hen to all them cocks.
Uh, well, thank you.
You're welcome, any time.
Oh, can I get a ride back from you?
- Would that be all right? - Yeah, yeah, sure.
Great.
I've got a confession to make.
I really want your phone number.
Don't make me beg.
You'll be seeing me real soon, I promise.
Oh, my god, Troy Thunderton totally just hit on me.
Hey, Mr., uh,
- Dr. Armstrong. - Miss Lou.
Always a terrific pleasure.
I wish it was under better circumstances.
Do you have a minute?
Sure, yeah, um, you wanna take a seat?
Yeah.
Optimism is a beautiful character trait, Lindsey.
I always promote hope and faith,
but even if your dad survived...
But no one could put him in the same area
as the avalanche.
He'd be without food and shelter.
For him to be separated from his Sherpas in that terrain
and survive is incomprehensible.
Still.
There's a chance?
Yes, yes, there is a chance, Lindsey.
If anybody can get themselves out of a situation like that,
it's your dad.
In all the years we traveled across this globe together,
your father got us out
of one impossible situation after another.
I entrusted that man with my life.
And he always came through.
I'm not much help, am I?
You know, if I could,
I'd go over there and look for him myself.
Well, maybe that's what I'll do.
Follow your heart, Lindsey.
How do I get to Everest?
Searching the web on how to cook chicken breasts.
How do I plan a trip to Mount Everest?
Searching the web for trips to music fest.
You've got to be kidding me.
I found five results for digging in your knees.
A round trip ticket to Lhasa, China
would be $2,148 with taxes.
Okay.
And an additional one-way ticket back
will be $1,168 with taxes.
Wow.
Okay, I'm not accusing you
of not knowing how to do your job or anything,
but I was finding a lot lower prices online.
Like, a lot lower.
Right, and if you are a part of the group trek
to Everest Base Camp, you'll need to budget in for yaks.
Yaks?
I'd allow for two to three yaks,
but you'll have to make those arrangements when you arrive.
Okay.
Are we buying a ticket today
or are we just window shopping?
Well, are there, like, any promos or discounts going on?
Planning a trip to Everest
is different than going to Disneyland.
Well, I've never been to Disneyland either
so I wouldn't know, thanks.
We're talking GORE-TEX tents, sleeping equipment,
layered seasonal clothing, that's huge,
the temps are gonna suck.
Then you've got your oxygen bottles, masks, regulators,
medical kit, rescue insurance, satellite phones,
and then a bunch of other stuff that I'm forgetting.
Yeah, I'll probably need a scarf, too.
How many people are on your team?
Oh, no one yet, so far, just me.
I've been climbing for the past 10 years,
I don't recognize you from any climbs, you, Mazama?
Uh, I went to outdoor school, like, in seventh grade.
I mean, we went on a hike that was uphill.
Do you have any mittens that are cheaper?
These are like $30.
Uh, for just the basic gear alone
you're looking at like four k, and that's like,
bare minimum stuff.
Look, if you're serious,
you'd better consider getting a guide.
You wanna go climb Everest?
It's a little out of my league, but I do know a guy.
Here you go, that guy.
Oh, yeah, that's tragic.
Local climber, used to come in all the time.
- That's my dad. - Oh.
Whoa, so sorry.
Thanks.
I'd love to hear stories sometime
if you wanted to come in and tell a story.
Yeah, maybe later.
Scoot.
It's Scott.
I lost a bet.
Dammit.
Where's Mom?
Buying milk and wine.
So, is this it?
This is what you do?
He's a mobile night light.
Neat.
Christmas is gonna be really weird this year, huh?
Maybe.
Why didn't Michael come to the funeral?
Busy.
I miss Dad.
Yeah, me too.
What do you want?
I'm headed out.
I need to get the papers filed in the next couple days
so if you could just get those signed.
You're going out?
I really gotta go.
I'm, like, headed out the door right now.
Yeah, well, maybe I'll run into you.
I'm out too.
Girls night, yay.
Bye.
Michael?
Jizo, protector of women, children, and travelers.
You take Jizo statues and put 'em in intersections and paths
and it always tells you the right way to go.
Lindsey.
Lindsey, I like that, that's got a nice ring to it.
Guess I better stay here then, huh?
In case you need me to bail you out, right?
Thanks, Dad.
- Hey, good evening. - Hi.
We received a call that there was a dead body in a car.
What?
Are you all right?
Uh, yeah, yeah, I was just taking a nap.
Well, you can't stay here.
You were sleeping in your car
in the parking lot of the police station.
Oh, sorry.
- I need you to move along. - Okay, yeah, no problem.
- Have a safe night. - Thank you.
What's wrong?
Michael's working late
and I thought I heard someone in the backyard.
Sure.
Meatloaf Wednesday.
It's hot.
It was your dad's favorite.
I never really cared much for it.
Well, you don't need to make it until he gets home.
Who's this guy?
Some survival guy
they drop off in the wilderness.
Okay, why are you watching this?
- Don't watch this stuff. - Well, they say that.
Your brother made it to Austria.
Cool.
Lindsey,
I just, I feel like we have so much to talk about.
I mean, I've barely seen you in three years.
Where do you wanna start?
How about my wedding?
Not tonight.
Kind of mother doesn't attend her own daughter's wedding?
Dad was there.
He made an effort to be there
and he was never here to begin with.
I'm sorry.
I'll make the next one.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Are you hungry?
Make sure you save some for Monty.
Did someone bring this over?
No, I thought I'd make breakfast.
I'm allowed to, aren't I?
What, you thought I got up early and went to McDonald's?
McDonald's doesn't have bacon.
So, have you considered applying for a job?
Mom.
You know, I thought maybe we could go to the mall today,
pick you out a really cute outfit,
go to one of the cosmetic counters, get you a makeover,
and maybe clean you up a little bit.
For who?
I just thought that maybe
you would feel better about yourself
if you put yourself together.
I feel awesome about myself.
It's everyone else that seems to have a problem with me.
Hungry?
Hey, what's up?
I had a dream that he was still alive
waiting for us to come get him.
Monty, was it a dream or a psychic vision?
It was a vision.
It was real.
Sorry, I'm just dumb.
No, you're not.
You're gifted.
You just need to practice your gift.
Queen of Hearts.
Ace of Spades.
Ace of clubs.
There's too damn many of them.
You've been through the deck twice.
I figured you'd get at least one right.
Hello?
Is that an angel on the other line?
I'm trying to reach a young lady by the name of Lindsey.
Well, you got her.
We'll see about that.
You alone?
Sorta.
I thought you might be interested
- in making a little money. - Yes!
What did you have in mind?
I'm looking for a couple real special people
to help me out,
and I immediately thought of you and your brother.
Really?
Um, thanks.
What should I wear?
Why are we doing this?
Well, I've been thinking.
If you're going to develop your psychic powers,
then you're gonna need special training.
If we're gonna hire someone,
it's going to cost a lot of money.
Why do you care?
I wanna help
because that's what big sisters do.
Chris Black to the corral please,
Chris Black to the corral.
Of course.
A deal just walked off the lot.
That's money out of your pocket, what's your excuse?
I was obviously in the bathroom.
Oh.
Ah.
You've got a phone.
Keep someone on the other line while you taking a leak.
Two eyes on the lot at all times, you understand?
Sure, mm-hmm, eyes on the lot.
Don't wanna miss anything.
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, son.
Now go out there and sell me a truck.
You think I was too rough on him?
No, no, not at all, just, uh, tough love.
Tough love.
You're one of a kind, Lindsey Lou, you know that?
Uh, I don't know if it's an issue or not,
but we don't know anything about cars.
I've only had my license for three months
and I don't know how to parallel park.
It's all right.
I'll take enthusiasm over experience any day.
You know what else is important, son?
Drive.
Desire.
Drive and desire, that's all you need in this business.
Take a look out there.
Any idiot can sell a car.
Anyhoo, random drug testing
is the second Thursday of every month.
The only thing they're looking for is cocaine or heroin.
That gonna be a problem for you?
I'm on four allergy medications and I...
Ahem!
Not a problem.
Well, are you here to keep me company or sell a car?
I'll sell two cars.
Oh, fantastic.
That's great.
Listen, do me a favor, will ya?
Just keep an eye on your brother, keep him out of trouble.
Can't I stay in here with you instead?
We're gonna be spending a lot of time together.
That's a promise.
Relax, you're gonna be fine.
Now go get your job done.
Yeah, oh, great.
Wait, shh, shh.
You hear that?
Wait, wait, you hear that?
Uh, no, what I am supposed to be hearing?
Thunderton, Lindsey.
Thunderton, the quiet rumble of approaching Thunderton.
And where there's Thunderton, there's what?
- Lightning. - There's lightning.
That's right.
What do you think?
You think it will strike twice?
I don't really know what that means,
but it sounds really hot.
That's my girl.
Now go on and go get it.
This place is amazeballs.
We're not selling cars here.
We're selling personality and lifestyle.
If they don't like you, they ain't buying, all right?
They ain't coming here to make friends or kill time.
They're here to buy a damn car.
Always be closing, you ever hear that phrase?
The ABCs?
- No. - No.
Well, whatever, I've got a bit of a different approach.
S-T-D.
Seal the deal, all right?
That's when you ask for the sale and if they don't budge,
you lie, you beg, you steal, whatever you have to do,
you make the deal.
Understand, seal the deal.
- STD. - STD, absolutely.
Tell you what, why don't you go out there
and just make yourself familiar with the inventory?
Can you do that for me?
- Yeah. - All right.
Listen, I, um, I hate to ask this but...
No, no, what's on your mind, Lindsey Lou?
Well, exactly how much money am I going to make?
How much you want?
No, seriously, it's just that
I'm trying to save up for this trip
- that I'm going on... - I understand.
I'll tell you what.
You stick with me
and I'll take you anywhere you wanna go.
The money will come, I promise.
It'll come faster
than lightning chasing down a jackalope on the barren plain.
Okay, seriously, you gotta stop
using lines from your show.
It's just very, uh...
Sensual?
Confusing.
Hmm.
I want you to embrace your inner coyote.
You know what I mean?
Take down the buffalo.
Again, I don't quite know what you mean,
but it sounds really hot.
What?
You wanna drive me around blindfolded?
Then I can try to see where we are using my mind's eye?
Psst!
- Hi. - Hi.
It's Scoot from the Mountain Shop.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just here doing research for the climb.
- Cool. - Yeah.
I'm just, I'm here for story hour.
Oh.
They usually have a puppet show and sometimes cookies.
I'm here with my nephew.
He's seven.
- I'm just his ride. - Right.
I'm totally not into puppet shows.
- No. - Oh, god, that's weird.
Do you wanna come down to the end here?
Hello.
Say, not that I'm an expert or anything,
but I have done my fair share of climbing.
Maybe we could get some coffee sometime
and talk about climbing?
Uh, yeah, I guess, sure.
That's awesome.
Shh!
I'm so sorry.
Yes!
Well, I think it is fantastic
that you both got a job on the same day, it's great.
It's no big deal.
Well, I think it is.
You know who else would think it was?
Dad.
He would have been really proud.
He will be.
Remember when dad would come home with all the presents?
And stories?
He always thought of you kids.
He said he'd bring me home a bumper sticker.
For what?
Your forehead?
Can you find my dad or not?
He knows the area your father went missing.
- Many people die there. - He's not dead, just lost.
He'll do it.
No guarantee, though.
Well, maybe I should shop around.
I need a guy who can get the job done.
He'll get the job done
and wants you to know it will come at a price.
Yeah.
2,000, cash.
Fine, I'll add it to the bill.
How do you find him?
You don't look like a mountain climber.
Scott, the Mountain Shop.
Scoot!
We just can't leave him here.
He'll be fine.
What if he gets hungry or something?
Well, he can go get something to eat.
He's not a freakin' Gremlin, Monty.
Nothing bad's gonna happen.
Now look, we've gotta get to work, okay?
All right, fine, you can stay here and I'll go to work.
Okay.
Just don't sit around all day.
Bend spoons or something.
Hey!
What's the deal with you and Jerry?
Mind your own business.
You keep prancing around here
acting like you own the place, it's my business.
Jealous?
Barely, you think you're the first?
Whatever.
The guy's a fraud.
He had a local kids show, now he's a car salesman,
all right, the writing is on the wall.
Troy Thunderton was an Emmy winning children's show, okay?
He taught values and life lessons
from his Native American ancestors
that you wouldn't even begin to understand.
The guy's from El Paso, all right?
He's about as native as Wallace.
I give you two weeks.
That's about as long as the others lasted.
Lindsey Lou to the corral please.
Hey.
Ho.
You're awfully quiet.
Just thinking.
Remember all those times you rescued baby animals
with Tornado, your Indian sidekick
and you'd bring them back to your wigwam?
Troy Thunderton broadcasted from a custom studio pueblo,
not a wigwam.
Right.
I used to wish you'd show up at my house
when my dad was gone on business,
and bring us baby raccoons and teach us how to make baskets
and grow corn.
It's not too late.
There's always time for lightning lessons.
Listen, I need to get to the auction
and take a look at some used cars.
You'll be all right here all by your lonesome?
Can't I tag along?
Maybe we can get coffee?
You know what, I got a better idea.
What do you say we forget this place and go to Mexico?
Serious?
All right, if you make a car deal,
Igor here will take mighty good care of ya.
Wait, what?
Okay.
Well, hello.
And to you, ma'am.
Milk.
Kids drank it all.
Of course.
Well, you know what they say.
Milk does a body good.
Or something like that.
Walk you to your car?
What a gentleman you are.
Yes, ma'am.
I got it on trade.
You got STD power, I like that.
Um, thanks.
So, what did you do all day?
We watched Criss Angel episodes.
And?
I'm definitely gonna need leather pants
and an awesome hairdo if I ever want to go on TV.
Oh, and I went to the library
and I found all three seasons of the Troy Thunderton show.
I thought we could watch them tonight.
No, I'm gonna watch those later, alone.
Howdy.
Hi.
Uh, I wasn't expecting you to stop by.
Surprised?
Yeah, I mean, I would've changed
and put on something a little more fun.
No one will be able to tell
when you're galloping on a horse.
You look terrific.
Well, there's the belle of the ball, Miss Caroline Lou.
- You look so handsome. - You look gorgeous yourself.
Do you mind if we stop for a coffee first?
We are completely out here and I am running on no sleep.
That sounds perfect.
I promise I won't keep her out too late.
She's been working so hard.
Look how exhausted she is.
Oh, I was thinking, after coffee,
have you heard of that new country bar that's opened up?
Tumblin' Weed, I sure have.
Well, they have line dancing.
Yeah, we can go there.
I have my dancing shoes on.
All right, let's get.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Motherfucker.
Have fun?
Oh, you almost gave me a heart attack.
Good.
Aren't you supposed to work early?
How could you do that to Dad?
Oh.
You're still married.
- That's adultery. - Lindsey.
Oh, come on.
Oh, I gotta get out of these Spanx.
Why him?
Jerry?
He's such a nice guy, you know that.
He asked me out.
You could have anyone you want
and you choose the one person
who takes an interest in my life.
What?
Oh, honey, don't flatter yourself.
Besides, you're married.
Speak for yourself.
We went and had coffee and then line dancing.
And it was a lot of fun.
It was a lot of fun.
Good night, darling.
Step right up, don't be shy.
Everything all right?
What do you think?
I think you look about as mad
as a mule chewing on bumblebees.
Did I earn this?
I threw a couple spiffs in there for ya.
You too.
I told you I was gonna take care of ya.
You think I'd send you home with nothing?
C'mon, kid, let's go eat an orange.
I don't like oranges.
Mm, you haven't had one of my oranges.
Okay.
How's your mother?
Her feet must be hurting something awful after last night.
The only thing she has is a serious case of the skank.
Be careful, it's contagious.
Is that how you speak to your elders?
That's all you have to say?
Look, I may have retired from TV,
but I'll never stop crusading
to help other people find what makes them their best.
Your mother just needed a bolt from above.
You had no intention, did you?
Of what?
Are you saying that none of this was real?
I've been in love with you
since you were on a cable access show.
I may have been 10 years old
but you made an impression on me.
It's time to grow up, Lindsey.
Maybe take a lesson from your mother.
Never.
Like the orange?
Is it gluten free?
I think so.
It tastes weird.
Tastes weird?
Hey. How much was your check?
$500.
Okay, good, me too.
We need to save those, okay?
But can't I keep some for myself?
No.
But I wanted to get a Troy Thunderton spray tan.
No.
Hey, guys, I'm gonna go have sushi with Jerry
and then I'll be back.
You don't eat sushi.
It smells like a barn in here.
Come on, I asked you guys not to let the.
He needs to go home.
He's training me.
Honey, I know it's been really stressful lately,
but that's no excuse to act crazy.
Have fun on your date.
Thank you, I will, and you know why?
Because you're selfish?
Ha, Lindsey Lou.
Because it hasn't even been a week since the funeral
and you're already looking for Dad's replacement?
Okay, watch your mouth.
No one can replace your father.
You not even 100% sure he's gone
and that we have the right ashes.
If the funeral home can't get it right
what makes you think the Chinese government did?
Your father made a living
leaving me home alone for months on end.
Do you think I ever got a phone call from him
when he was in Africa, South America, anywhere?
Whatever.
And when he would come home,
he would hole himself up in his office
or do whatever his children wanted.
Knock it off.
So you miss your father
after not seeing him for three months.
I haven't seen him for over 20 years.
I hardly saw anyone.
So yes, I'm gonna go have lunch.
Because what other option do I have
but, I don't know, sit around here
and pretend that he's going to come home?
Okay, perfect.
While you're pretending like he's alive,
why don't you sit in your room
and dress in black and mourn like a normal person?
Like a normal person?
Monty.
Monty, come on.
Knock it off, just cool down.
You're not going anywhere.
I'm 18, I can do what I want.
I'll report you for animal cruelty.
And who's gonna feed the goat?
You don't understand.
Yes, I do.
Okay, she's acting like a total slut
and you know she's only doing this because I like Jerry.
I never got to know Dad.
Not like you and Liam did.
Look, I swear to God, everything's gonna be different
when he gets back, Monty, I promise.
Mom's right.
Dad was never here.
I was in school when Dad left,
and I feel like he's just gonna come back any day
right through that door.
Do you think Dad would be happy if he were here right now?
Well, he may be a little upset about the goat.
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
We're heading to the airport right now,
we're catching a red-eye
because I'm playing a last minute festival in Sweden.
Well, everything's great over here.
We got a goat.
How's Mom?
Oh, you know, dating.
Huh, very funny.
Look, just make sure she's happy, all right,
'cause this is, like, a really tough time for her.
Obviously.
Well, she hung up on me.
Okay, you know what?
You and, just meditate or something.
But I really wanted you to drive me around blindfolded
- and then... - Monty, just stop.
Come on, let's go outside.
I can't work in this environment.
Hey.
Oh, hey, hey, ho, oh, ah, hello, hello, hi, hello.
Let's not point weapons.
You okay?
Sorry.
It's a bad day.
Need to blow off some steam?
I think I'm gonna die.
No, no, no, you're fine, you're fine.
You've got this, okay?
- Just stay focused. - Okay.
What are you gonna do when you're on Everest
and it's life or death?
Sorry, uh, high stakes, high stakes is what I meant to say.
Can you just help me down?
No, no, no, hold on, you got this, okay?
You sure you don't wanna stay?
Uh.
Um, it's, uh, it's stuck.
You can't tell me that wasn't fun.
Tell me it helped a little.
Yeah, a little.
You combine this with some real mountain hiking
and you'll be a pro in no time.
Well, I'm not looking to win awards.
I just gotta find my dad.
Yeah.
I mean, he's still out there, they just haven't found him,
which is dumb.
I mean, considering the technology
and whatever else it is that they have out there.
Question.
What are you doing tonight?
What, like, later?
Yes.
Uh.
Um, nothing.
Perfect.
Meet me here at seven.
Oh, and I'm assuming that you like Chinese?
People or food?
Ooh, both.
Lindsey, it's Michael.
Call me back, please.
We've got unfinished business.
All right, you got any tens?
You're cheating me, you ruble headed, son of a...
Watch your mouth.
A lady in the office.
Sorry about the language, Lindsey.
Lord, you look like you been rode hard and hung up wet.
What's got your feathers ruffled?
Can we go somewhere private and talk?
Sure.
I know just the place.
It's a shame they're corralled.
On the reservation, they run free.
Let me guess, you tame wild horses
and then use them to communicate with your spirit guide.
I rescued them from an animal hoarder.
Oh.
Look, your mother's definitely got my attention.
I don't want you to get the wrong idea
about the other day.
When my dad gets back, you're gonna be sorry.
I can take care of her, Linds.
I can love her.
Ain't that what your daddy would have wanted?
For her to be cared for?
You're serious?
Always am.
You totally played me.
And now you're trying to screw my mom.
I thought Troy Thunderton was about honor and respect.
Look, I don't play games, all right, I don't have to.
Troy Thunderton was a legend.
I've got two Emmys, remember that?
Oh, shut up.
You had a shitty regional kids show.
I wish I never met you.
Well, why don't you wish in one hand
and spit in the other?
See which one fills up faster.
I'm in love and I ain't going anywhere.
Lightning can strike twice.
My people got stories to prove that.
Oh, shut up.
You're Irish.
I read you damn Wikipedia page.
So, Lindsey,
what exactly are your financial goals?
I need about $10,000.
Did you know
that your account is overdrawn?
Wait, what?
No, there should be, like, $8 in there or something.
Did you make a purchase for $18.99?
Goat food, damn it.
Okay, okay, just take whatever you need out of my deposit
and then, I don't know,
open up a line of credit or something for the rest?
You know what?
Why don't we start here first?
There's some good stuff in there
and it's a really quick read.
Oh.
And you might need those.
Would you like a receipt?
How's your hot mother?
Hot as hell.
It's nice to see your sense of humor is still intact.
Which reminds me, Lindsey, I need your spare keys.
I lost them.
Lindsey.
I'm gonna add that to your tab, okay?
I'm working on it.
Are you working?
You finally got a job?
After three whole years of doing squat?
I'm proud of you, Lindsey.
- Okay, knock it off. - Is it a real job?
You know what?
I've had to help out at the house a lot.
My father didn't leave a fat inheritance like yours.
Well, yeah, that's true.
- Classy. - Okay.
I need $10,000.
Okay, honestly, I need 11,641
but I think I can make things work with 10,000.
All right, 11,641, that's better.
Open lines of communication, please.
Let's be honest with one another.
No, are you kidding me, no.
Michael, come on, I've never asked you for anything.
Just give me this one thing.
I will, on one condition.
I want these signed.
My accountant says the sooner the divorce is finalized,
the sooner I can cut my losses.
Lucky you.
I'm not even gonna ask you what the money is for.
If you're in some kind of trouble, I don't care.
Don't care.
It's not like that.
Uh-huh, and if this is what it takes
for you to start a new life without me,
I'm cool with that.
Michael, this is only 5,500.
You bet it is.
I subtracted your half of the expenses from that.
Like lost keys,
a cell phone bill that is still in my name for some reason
and has to be paid every month.
I'm not even counting your half of the honeymoon.
You're ridiculous.
As far as I'm concerned,
this marriage never even happened.
It's all just a write-off.
Aw, like law school never happened?
I'm working big cases Lindsey.
You're a court reporter.
No, I'm not.
I'm at a firm.
Congratulations on your internship.
Congratulations on your aah!
You know, I have some advice for you.
I'm not taking advice
from somebody more screwed up than me.
But if you wanted to fool around,
I'd be happy to cut you a bigger check.
Stop.
The next time I see you, I want these papers signed.
Right.
And get the rest of your shit out of here, please.
I don't wanna have to take it to Goodwill.
Okay, okay, fine.
I guess I'll just get the rest of my stuff later.
I hate leaving like this.
Planning on doing some baking tonight?
Yeah.
Poison flavored anything.
Heavy on the deadly.
Sweetheart, I am not trying to replace your father.
No one could ever replace him.
I'm just enjoying Jerry's company, that's all.
We're having fun.
He's a sweet guy.
Great.
Here, enjoy.
We're all caught
between a rock and a hard place now, honey.
Shit, rocks.
Hey, man, I don't think she's coming.
Okay, I'll be down in just a minute.
Do you want to take some kung pao chicken with you?
I kinda have a lot of it.
Sure.
Are you like this all the time
or you just save it for me?
Just because your life hit rock-bottom
doesn't mean you gotta drag the rest of us down with you.
You know, I think I'll stay right here
and make your life miserable.
That's fine with me.
Ain't gonna keep me from loving your mother.
I am going to squeeze the life out of you
like a smelly sponge.
You can catch more flies with sugar, Linds.
Why don't you just try being nice for a change
and see what happens?
Your mom deserves to be with a man who loves her
just the way she is and I intend to be that man.
The fact that you pretend to be Native American
is really just arrogant.
People protest this kind of stuff.
All right.
How much do you think we could get for your computer?
To pay for for Sam?
Huh?
My mentor, I named him Sam.
We could probably get a few hundred bucks for my laptop.
And then maybe if we have some more money left over...
Yeah, we can get something for Mom, okay, whatever.
Okay.
So, how do we get more money?
Well, we used to swing by the local homeless shelter,
get some transients, put 'em in a van,
take 'em around all the other dealerships.
Then they'd go and flush out all the customers
like varmints out of the brush,
and they'd come over here to our lot
just spend like crazy.
Or, you remember those late night
lonely girls looking to hook up commercials?
Monty, go do something else right now.
Say anything to my brother ever again and I swear to God,
I'll stab you in the neck with a tampon.
Somebody needs one of Uncle Wally's magic rum oranges.
Excuse me, is there something I can help you with?
Uh, you know, Scott was helping me.
Is he around?
No, he called in sick today.
Oh, oh, okay.
Yeah, he's never sick.
I really feel I'm ready,
like I can use my gift to help others.
Yeah?
What kind of feeling are you getting about Dad?
- Oh, Lindsey, enough. - Why?
Is it interrupting your dating life?
If you don't like it, you can leave.
Monty, I need you to take these boxes
to GoodWill tomorrow, okay?
It's just some old clothes and stuff.
These are Dad's.
I am keeping things, Lindsey, don't worry.
I just need to get rid of...
Get rid of Dad.
It's fine, I'll take care of it myself.
And we're live with Dr. Montgomery Lou
as he discusses saving the world,
one remote village at a time.
Dr. Lou, tell us about your next adventure.
I'm trying to be serious.
Well, sounds like I should film then.
If you're being serious.
I mean it, this is the last time.
Your mother and I love you very much,
but you're never going to learn anything
if we don't stop doing this.
Why don't you take me with you then?
On your next adventure?
It'll be so much fun.
I can be your assistant.
You wanna go on my next adventure?
Mm-hmm.
What if it's too dangerous?
I should probably stay here then, huh?
In case I have to bail you out, right?
Right.
What are you doing?
Hey.
Did you know Jerry likes to go camping?
He said we could all go to Wyoming.
He's got this cabin up in Carbon County.
He said we could all go fishing.
He's pretty cool.
I mean, not Dad cool, but different cool, you know?
He's a total fake.
He said you're just upset about Dad and you can't move on.
Can't move on?
Monty, I'm not gonna move on
until I have proof that Dad is really gone.
Nobody can prove that psychics are real
but I believe because I can feel it,
and that's proof.
I've got enough proof right here.
It's good for you, but your psychic abilities
aren't helping us bring Dad back.
Jerry says that courage is being scared to death
and saddling up anyway.
Jerry said that?
Yeah, he's smart.
And you believe that, Monty?
Okay.
Mont, can I have a second?
Mm-hmm.
- I'm sorry I've been so... - I know.
I know.
God, that's hideous.
Where'd you get it, Grandma?
Jerry gave it to me.
I'm lonely.
What about Dad?
What about him?
He traveled the world.
And where was I?
I was here being a mom, being a wife.
And I never complained, not once,
because he promised me when he retired,
we would travel the world, see places, do things,
meet people, live life.
I put my life on hold for him and what do I have?
I'm alone.
And you would have seen that, had you been around.
You didn't want me here.
What?
No, that's not true.
You left.
You didn't wanna be part of this family.
Life does not stop when you walk out the door, Lindsey.
After all this time you still think it's all about you.
Lindsey, you up yet?
Lindsey.
- It happened. - What?
The community college is offering a class
on paranormal studies.
I think I'm going to college.
Where's Sam?
Uh, he left.
Left like he went to go get coffee,
or to walk the goat left, or like he left left?
Now I can go to an accredited school
with real professors who specialize...
Where did Sam go?
He never really talked.
The bank, maybe, to cash his check?
What check?
I didn't wanna wake you up, so I wrote him a check.
But, man, Sam is not cheap.
You could buy a really fancy aquarium
with that kinda money.
Okay, so you what, you wrote him for what,
- for everything, for all of it? - Well, not everything,
But most of it.
Why, what's wrong?
That money wasn't for Sam or you.
Yeah, to help me become psychic.
No, it was to bring Dad home.
What?
Yes, I had plane tickets and tents and climbing equipment,
and Sam knew Everest like the back of his hand.
You lied to me?
Monty, just listen
Okay, come on, even you said Dad was alive,
that you heard him, right?
And what about all that stuff about good feelings?
You used me!
I took a vow to only use my powers for good.
Oh, shut up, you're not psychic!
Cool it, guys.
Jerry's coming over.
Oh, great, this day keeps getting worse.
Good, I like Jerry, I can't wait for him to come over.
Why, because he's Troy Thunderton?
You're the only one who has a problem with him.
He's a loser!
Well, that loser is my guest.
And can you get that goat out of the house, please?
You know, if Dad was here, he'd let you have it.
You wanna hear a psychic vision?
You and Michael don't live happily ever after,
you work a crappy job,
and you live by yourself with a bunch of cats, the end!
And you get really fat.
You're such a fake!
And you know what else?
Jerry makes Mom happy.
At least he comes around more than Dad ever did.
Shut up!
You wanna know why Michael really kicked you out?
He never kicked me out.
Oh, yeah, so that's why you've been living in your car
for the past two weeks?
Everyone knows, we've just been trying to be nice!
- Bullshit! - We knew.
Maybe our lives are screwed up,
but at least we're honest about it.
You act like you're the only normal one around here
and you're the one that needs the most help.
Monty.
We do not slam doors in this house!
Dammit.
You lost my cousin, not my problem, lady.
He stole my money.
Hey, you take it up with him.
You have a signed contract?
No.
Not my problem.
This is between you and him.
Maybe he's in Hawaii.
Why would he be in Hawaii?
It's perfectly beautiful there.
Okay.
You know, you either need to give me my money back
or you tell me where he is.
You need to go now or I'll call police.
Great, we can file a missing persons report.
You done?
No, I'm shopping.
Mm.
Well, orange is a lovely color on you.
I'm sorry if I creeped you out
and invited you for Chinese food at a gym.
That's super douchey.
It's cool.
It's normal, right?
Can we go somewhere and talk?
I'm kinda going through some stuff right now.
Okay, well, then I'm coming in.
Like it or not, I'm coming in.
You never really planned on going, did you?
I did.
But my Sherpa ran off, and my brother's been no help,
and there's no one else to support me.
I mean, besides you.
You know, I knew your dad.
He used to come in here all the time
and buy a bunch of stuff.
Yeah.
I can't wait until he comes home.
What if he doesn't?
It's, like, really rough out there, Lindsey.
He will.
You don't know my dad.
I hope he does.
Hey, it's me.
Hey, Liam, how's Sweden?
The search efforts for the remaining two climbers
from last month's devastating avalanche
has come to an end.
The bodies of two American geologists
have been properly identified
as Mitch Connor and Montgomery Lou.
Earlier weather conditions hampered the search
for the missing climbers.
Unconfirmed reports of Lou and Connor
being found at lower elevations led to confusion,
as the locals carried out traditional cremation ceremonies.
Monty, I'm sure you already knew
I'd be giving you this.
Go to school, develop your gift, Lindsey.
Can I help you?
Lindsey.
Double check.
We're good.
You don't need to do that.
You, Lindsey.
Really?
Don't slam the...
I'll get it.
Hello.
Hey.
I just, um, wanted to see if Mom is around?
Come in.
Oh, hey, Lindsey.
- Hi. - Hi.
We were just talking about your big promotion.
Oh, yeah, uh, now they let me use the cash register
and wash the dishes.
Grab a plate in the kitchen.
We saved you a seat.
Oh, that's okay, I already ate.
I just wanted to say hi.
No, come on, don't be silly.
We have so much food, grab a plate.
And some ketchup.
Figured we might be seeing more of you.
Been busy.
Work, you know?
You've been avoiding me and your mom like the plague.
Kinda.
Your daddy would have been proud of you, Lindsey.
I know your mom is.
You're building a cumulus.
Hmm?
A thunderhead.
Your lightning will strike, trust me.
We got rid of the goat.
He ate Mom's checkbook and her good towels.
Figures.
How's Harvey and Kenny?
- They're pretty good. - Yeah?
Hello?
Uh, yeah?
- Uh. - Everything cool?
Yeah, I just, um, I've gotta go take care of something.
Can it wait till after you eat?
Just let her go, Carol.
But you just got here.
I just gotta wrap up some business.
My old man gave me that watch when I got my PhD.
That goes to Liam.
Now, these, I got for Monty.
That one, you know, obvious.
This one means never stop learning.
He's a smart kid.
Sees the beauty in the things that the rest of us miss.
That's for your mom.
It's a Tibetan prayer scarf.
Made me think of her.
She'll understand.
That's for you.
I want you to wear that until you find a guy so amazing
who loves you
the way you deserve it.
Why did you have to leave?
I'm never gonna leave you.
Not really.
I'm your dad.
Sorry.
Thank you.
- I - love you, kiddo.
I love you, too.
Was it worth it?
So worth it.
We made it.
Subtitles by explosiveskull