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(cicadas chirping)
(indistinct rumbling)
(dramatic suspenseful music)
(alarm beeping)
- Now why was that so painful?
Why was that 60 seconds, the most uncomfortable
part of your day?
See, I think it's because society tells us
to avoid silence, and we're conditioned to think
that something's wrong with quiet.
(laughs)
I can't tale it anymore, what's in the bag?
- You really wanna know?
- [Clayton] Yes.
- Okay I know it's a little late,
but happy graduation babe.
- [Clayton] Oh my Gosh, that looks amazing.
Did you make this?
- I made the decision to buy it.
- [Clayton] Okay, just think about living here,
would you get lonely?
I mean there are times where you'd wanna go here
for a vacation or an escape.
But the idea of living here, routinely, day-to-day.
If I'm being honest with myself, I don't--
(banging on door)
Ah that must be Hunter.
Well, patience is his best quality,
so obviously he's a piece of shit.
- What the fuck!
- [Clayton] Just gonna let yourself in huh?
- Yes, and you're welcome for me being here.
- [Clayton] What else would you be doing?
- Getting laid.
- But is too much silence a bad thing?
Are the mundane relationships that we keep
the only things weaving us to sanity?
- Are you sure that this is okay?
I mean, I know I said we'd go out to celebrate.
- [Clayton] What, are you kidding, look at this.
Okay, this is perfect.
- Just us, that's okay?
So are you able to meet with my cousin next week?
- [Clayton] Um, no.
- Why not?
There's a position open and she wants to interview you.
I mean we could maybe get you out of your parents house.
(laughs)
- [Clayton] Um, I'm busy next week.
- The whole week, you're just busy?
- [Clayton] Yeah.
- Okay mystery man, what are you busy with?
- [Clayton] Well it's a surprise.
- Like a good surprise?
- [Clayton] Well I think it's a good surprise,
for you it's like a surprise car crash.
Hey.
(groans)
Yeah, she's a little mad at me.
Hey dad.
- Hi son.
- [Clayton] Hey, can I interview you?
- Sure what about?
- [Clayton] Um, just like your job and you know,
your career.
- Yeah, maybe later.
- Some of the best art in the world was created
in the darkest hours of those artists lives.
And I'm talking about the whole artistic spectrum okay,
poets, musicians, film makers, painters,
novelists, anyone who creates.
The thing is those artists happily shared it
because they...
I don't know, they had too.
Makaila.
Makaila, (groans).
Curt Cobain, Van Gogh, Edgar Allen Poe,
they've all found masterpieces through insanity.
- Well I mean I think it's a waste of time,
but then also I think it's kinda fucking dumb.
- [Clayton] Wow okay.
- I mean clearly, you're going through
a quarter life crisis, so--
- No. - That's fine.
- [Clayton] Anyways, back to the interview.
- You've spent the last three months growing
a depression beard.
- This isn't a depression beard.
- That is a depression beard and you know it.
You are three days away from a straight-up homeless beard.
- Okay cool man, thanks so much for coming out.
- You know what, I'm being a good friend,
and good friends tell the fucking truth.
- Ernest Hemingway said the terrible mood
of depression, whether it's any good or not
is known as the artists reward.
I'll be honest with you, I haven't
taken anything seriously in a very long time.
It's time I do.
So the plan, to create loneliness.
Mikaila's gonna drop me off deep in the Georgia Mountains,
no town whatsoever for 20 miles, no car,
no phone, no GPS.
Just me alone in the woods with my thoughts
for five days.
- You know, look at me man, I did it.
I did the sell out thing that you're talking about.
It got me two weeks paid vacation, benefits,
and I get to pretend that I'm good at golf
every once in a while.
It's not bad.
- Wow.
No I'm sorry, there's so much to look forward too
when you put it like that.
- You know what I think you're fucking problem is,
is that I think you've seen too many movies
with manic pixie dream girls in 'em, okay.
- What? - You know
what I'm talking about.
It's just these girls who are just like,
just find your passion, it's exactly what you sound like.
Okay just find you passion, and then once you've found
that passion just hug it, okay.
And then that hug will bloom into happiness and joy,
and you'll just come back from the dead,
and start just loving life.
- Oh you're done, thank God, you're done.
Okay.
- Manic pixie dream girls aren't real.
- Let's just, let's just do the thing
that I invited you over here to help me with okay.
Can we just do that?
Please?
Where were we?
- Where were we?
We were at finding your passion, and hugging it.
- [Makaila] All right so Hunter.
- Yes.
- [Makaila] Tell me about your best friend Clayton.
(laughs)
- Oh man, he is the clumsiest person in the world.
- I mean he's clumsy, but I wouldn't say
he's the clumsiest person in the world.
- No it's true, anyone clumsier then Clayton is dead.
Let's see, what else?
This is gonna be so good.
I mean he is really smart, but you can't call him bright.
One time he ate gas station sushi.
- Okay. - He likes baths better
then showers. - Okay, I mean things
pertaining to this experiment,
not weird shit you know about each other.
- In high school he would make study guides
at finals time for all the students,
but he would spend so much time making
these study guides to sell them,
that he wouldn't spend any time actually studying.
And then he would fail himself.
But you know, I mean he'd always come off with like
1000 bucks or so for Christmas
or summer break or whatever.
That's just the first thing that comes to me.
- No that's, that's good.
- Can I just say one more thing?
- Oh my Gosh.
- So what, God you just graduated,
and you don't know what you're gonna do with your life.
Welcome to everybody's thought process
that's ever graduated.
You're just scared, first time in your life,
you don't have everything planned out for you.
Yes, thank you, it's finally been said okay.
I think you're fine, and we can continue now,
but I think you're fine.
- Okay, thank you. - All right, so what's
the first fucking question?
- Huh.
Um...
I don't know.
There's like a whole foot--
- I know.
- Hunter are you on a wide enough lens
to capture all of her hatred?
- [Hunter] Got it.
- Oh good, we can continue now.
- [Hunter] All right, good afternoon Mikaila,
and Clayton, it's the eve of your solo camping trip.
And how are we feeling this afternoon--
- Stop, take it back.
- [Hunter] How are you feeling?
- Excited, er, a little nervous.
- [Hunter] And what about you Mikaila?
- Annoyed, frustrated, upset, angry, confused--
- Just, just all of the negative words
in the English language.
(speaking in foreign language)
That's French for something mean.
Hunter, how, how did I describe how she
is treating me the other day?
Can you remember, it was a metaphor.
- No I'd love to hear this metaphor.
- [Hunter] No I wouldn't do it.
- No please, - Don't, don't.
- I would love to hear it.
- [Hunter] Don't.
- You're treating me like I am running over
your dog while I'm stabbing your family to death,
while simultaneously banging your best friend.
So...
- We can start the interview now.
- [Hunter] Okay, um, why...
Mikaila, why on your best, I mean to your understanding,
to your best understanding is he doing this?
- What?
- [Hunter] Like why is his inspiration to do this, or what?
- Dude you're gonna have to work on your interviewing voice,
and your dyslexia, like I straight up wrote the question,
just read it off the card.
- Stop he's helping you.
- [Hunter] Thank you.
- No, no, no, right now it feels like I'm helping him
by giving him a fucking reading lesson.
- Clayton. (Hunter laughs)
- [Hunter] No that was good.
- [Mikaila] You mentioned that story
from high school earlier.
- Yeah, yeah, in 10th grade.
Our teacher, she made us write these plays,
you know these short plays.
And Clayton decides to write this crazy story
about a mythical land with this king and queen.
And it's like a bunch of bullshit, but the queen,
gets kidnapped by the enemy king of another land.
So the queens name was Syphilis, okay.
So I mean just imagine this,
this class full of immature high schoolers
just on the floor.
The teacher gives him an F, she said,
it was well written, but the material was inappropriate.
I don't know, I think, that story really sums up
both sides of Clayton.
- Mikaila, I'm gonna be fine okay,
I mean I'm pretty sure if Tom Hanks did it
for five years, then I can do it for five days.
- Tom Hanks?
- Yeah, he did it in Castaway.
- That's a movie, Tom Hanks isn't real.
- No Tom Hanks is definitely real.
- Okay, it's not
you just going out into the woods that bothers me,
what bothers me is the fact that you're
disconnecting from literally everything.
No car, no phone, I mean what if you get hurt?
What if you get attacked by a bear or someone robs you--
- No, no, no, none of that's gonna happen!
I'm gonna feel alone, that's it.
I'm gonna learn things about myself in the process.
I'm gonna come back with a great story.
That...
That's it.
Mikaila, Mikaila.
That was awkward.
What are you gonna do side with her now?
So this is it, last thoughts before I head up.
I'm a little nervous but this is my chance.
This is my chance to harness some sort of storm,
and once evolved, share it.
(clippers buzzing)
So wish me luck.
And we're headed up to the mountains.
Mikaila's syked, you can tell by the vein
in her forehead how excited she is.
- Clayton it's way too early.
- I want, I want you to look into this camera
and say one positive thing.
It can be anything.
Hey it's pretty cool that the sun rose this morning.
It's awesome that we're both currently not on fire,
'cause that would suck.
- You know I could just turn around.
- No, no, that's, we're good.
I just want it to be said though, ahead of time,
that I'm gonna come back with this
dissertation on life.
You know, this life dissertation.
And you're gonna apologize.
Prediction submitted, there it is.
- Can we please just not talk about the trip anymore.
- I'm sure Christopher Columbus' girlfriend
wasn't happy whenever he went on the boat to America.
- Yeah that's the same.
- She was literally like "You're gonna fall off Earth."
She probably wasn't as mean to him.
You win, turn the car around,
I'll find a different means for creative inspiration
involving black tar heroine and alley syringes.
- Oh my God, Clayton.
♪ Jokes that do not land, starring Clayton Thompson ♪
♪ Written, directed and produced by Clayton Thompson ♪
♪ Jokes that do not land ♪
I fucking love that show, I watch it every day.
- This is so ridiculous, what are we doing?
Look at him, not a care in the damn world.
- Hey let's play a game called what decade is it?
Excuse me ma'am where's the nearest roller blade store?
The fact that you one day woke up
without a sense of humor kinda bothers me.
- Well you know, actually, I'm storing up
every stupid thing you say in my head
so I can laugh at it later.
You know, just so I won't give you the satisfaction.
- Oh, that's the best news I've heard in a long time.
- Yeah well I'm a sick person.
(Clayton laughs)
Can you just put that camera down?
Let's just talk.
- [Clayton] Yeah.
But did you, did you ever play?
- [Mikaila] Um, I played T Ball but I got
kicked off the team.
- [Clayton] You got kicked off your T Ball team?
- [Mikaila] Yes.
- [Clayton] T Ball like when you're five?
- [Mikaila] Yes, it's not funny.
- Give me 1000 years of guesses,
I'd have no idea.
Like how does somebody get kicked off their T--
- Okay, all right, I'll explain.
So every week the teammates would take turns
bringing snacks for after the game.
- Uh huh. - And when it was my week
my mom made these boss chocolate and peanut butter
cupcakes, anyways there's this one girl
who never threw me the ball, was always kinda rude to me,
and she refused to eat my moms cupcakes.
(Clayton laughs)
Which is unacceptable.
So I got sick of it one day,
and smashed a cupcake in her face.
And er, then she went to the hospital.
- [Clayton] What?
- Turns out she was severely allergic to peanuts.
(Clayton laughs)
So er, yeah that traumatizing event
ended my baseball career.
- [Clayton] Why did you never tell me that?
- Well I tend to skip stories where I almost kill
a five-year-old child.
(laughs)
So what is this place exactly?
- Er, I don't know just some patch of land
between two mountains.
Nothing's there though, that's all I know.
(car engine rumbling)
♪ So I'll wait ♪
♪ For days and days and days ♪
♪ Drawing circles around my grave ♪
♪ And still you never show ♪
♪ Where were you ♪
♪ When the world was setting, you ♪
♪ When the devil came grinning, you ♪
♪ What have you been up too ♪
- I guess this is it.
- You sure?
- Yeah, better place then any.
(car door slams)
(Mikaila sighs)
(muffled speaking off camera)
- Wow, we really are out in the middle of nowhere.
- Good.
- I hope I remember how to get back here.
- No that's not funny, okay.
You use your phone and you drop a pin.
- Baby you know I lose things all the time.
- Wow, no it didn't get any funnier that time.
- Well you know, what if I die,
and no one's here to come get you in six days.
An 18-wheeler just runs me off the road and bam,
no more Mikaila.
No one to come get you.
- Well that was dark.
- Yeah, and you know I actually didn't even need
a little camping trip for that one,
it just sorta came to me.
- Well played.
Hey, I'm gonna meet with your cousin when I get back.
- Look I know you don't wanna be a corporate blogger.
- Yeah but I still wanna meet with her.
- Well I mean there's no harm in trying.
- Yeah, exactly.
- Look I'm sorry, I've seemed like
such a bitch lately.
It's just, you know it's because I love you right?
- Of course, yeah.
- Shit. - What?
- A tree is down, I guess this'll do.
Here.
I'll lead you in.
- [Clayton] Mikaila?
- [Mikaila] Okay, turn this way.
- [Clayton] You're not gonna kill me are ya?
(Mikaila chuckles)
- [Mikaila] No.
- [Clayton] Here, hang on, let me get this up.
All right.
Okay, I'm gonna be fine, what, what will fix this?
- Nothing. - No.
Don't say nothing, okay, what will fix this?
- [Mikaila] It's not like that.
- [Clayton] When I am done with this whole project okay,
I, I will spend time in church.
I will watch "Full House."
- [Mikaila] Okay stop, stop.
I don't need your sarcasm right now okay.
Just, just let me feel how I feel.
- Okay. - Okay,
I just want you to be real for a moment.
- [Clayton] About what?
- [Mikaila] What do you want?
Okay, what do you want out of this?
- [Clayton] I want us.
- [Mikaila] You're gonna have to explain that to me.
- [Clayton] I just said it, I want us.
Look I'm not even using the misogynist answer of you,
I want us.
- [Mikaila] That doesn't even make sense okay
because as far as I'm concerned, you have us.
So, I wanna know what you actually mean
when you say you want us.
- It means I want us okay.
I am not willing to give you some dispassionate version
of that person okay, some detached guy
who gave up on every single dream
straight out of the gate.
I'm not gonna do that.
You deserve better.
- [Mikaila] Give me the camera.
Give me the camera!
- What, why? - Give me the camera!
Okay, Clayton I'm gonna ask you,
one more time, all right.
What do you want?
What is the driving force behind this?
What is bothering you so much that you feel like
you have to do this okay?
Just say it.
- My dad feels stuck at his job.
He doesn't say it, but he doesn't have too.
I'm not gonna be that way.
- [Mikaila] You love your dad,
don't talk shit about him okay.
- [Clayton] I love him, I don't respect him,
there's a difference.
- [Mikaila] Your father works a job he hates
so he can provide for his family.
How is he not a fucking superhero?
- You just, you don't understand.
- [Mikaila] So what are you gonna do now?
- I've already told you, I'm here,
you've seen this thing.
I'm going to write a story.
I'm gonna make a novel, I'm gonna write it,
I'm gonna make you proud.
You are going to be proud of me.
- [Mikaila] I am proud.
(Mikaila sighs)
Okay.
- Give me the camera.
- [Mikaila] Look, I know how you're feeling Clayton.
All right, you want, you wanna be great.
Everyone does.
- Put the camera down.
- [Mikaila] No, no!
You wanna be great okay,
you're gonna listen to me.
You see people post things online
and you think they're happy, but they're only posting
the highlight reels.
But you look at them, and you think you're not good enough.
- Put it down.
- [Mikaila] You are.
You are good enough.
Watch this in a couple of days
and see if you believe yourself.
- Come here. - Come here.
- I love you. - I love you too.
- [Clayton] I love you more then
the nostalgic memory of a Blockbuster Video.
- [Mikaila] I love you more then peanut butter
and chocolate.
- [Clayton] That's impossible, don't say something
you can't take back.
- [Mikaila] It's true, I do, I do.
- Goodbye. - Bye.
- I'll see you in a couple of days.
Mikaila!
So this is it.
This is where I'll find myself.
I spent all my graduation money buying a camera,
batteries and cards.
I'm a fucking idiot.
First night, it's not so bad out here.
Just quiet.
Besides the cicadas it's quiet.
I can actually hear myself think,
don't love it, but I can.
It's definitely creepy out here,
but I have to ask the question,
would having someone with me make it any less dangerous?
And the answer is no, but it takes being alone
to realize you#'re afraid.
Hello!
Is anyone there?
So, I survived the first night,
er, I just ate breakfast,
a granola bar which will also be dinner.
Let me say one thing, this is not the body of a man
who eats two granola bars a day.
This is the body of a man who eats a granola bar as a snack.
So, thoughts on last night.
Er, one thing that comes to mind,
one word would be aware.
I was aware of every sound that was around me.
The trees blowing in the wind,
the leaves skipping on the ground.
Everything was so crisp, honestly it was amazing.
Well I am bored as shit.
Look what I found.
Bottom of the 7th, two outs, two strikes,
no balls, men on 2nd and 3rd.
And the pitch.
Oh it's hit a mile high, and three miles long.
Yes it could go all the way.
Upper decker, home run, and that pitch
will sink Clayton into a month long binge
of depression, alcoholism and self-loathing.
♪ Lumber jacking in the forest ♪
(Ax smashes)
That is not happening.
(groans)
Come on.
(logs snapping)
Huh.
That is a creepy tree.
These trees are monotonous.
Be hell to get lost in it.
I don't know, it's somehow not as scary in the daytime.
It reminds me of whenever I was a little kid
and I just ran out into the forest.
Making up stories along the way,
living my own little journey.
Oftentimes being chased by something.
A ninja, like all the time actually, I don't know,
what the hell that's about.
I can make that jump right?
You got this.
(groans) (water splashing)
Ugh, it's so gross.
What the hell water is that?
Geeze, it's disgusting.
(groans)
Night's coming, soon enough.
If you guys could smell me right now.
There are no words.
I used to be like bullshit, there's a word
for everything.
Nope, not this smell.
Smells like two dead animals crawled inside of
three dead animals just to shit, and then die.
It's night two, it's late, real late.
Heard a lot of noises tonight,
it's the longest I've ever gone without seeing someone.
I mean sure I've had those days where I disappear
into a sofa and binge watch 12 hours of TV
while screening all my calls.
I call those dark days, but I also call them
everything I've ever wanted days.
So new observation, there's a fine line
between delight and depression.
I don't know though, this is just different.
(distant banging)
Nothing's there.
(sighs)
(phone ringing) Fuck!
Hello.
Are you kidding me Mikaila?
Are you kidding me?
No, no this is not cool, this is not cool.
Yes I'm fine, you have to quit worrying.
What, when, when?
No I will not calm down okay.
Okay, I will not calm down.
No, do not assume the worst whenever you call back okay,
because this phone is gonna be in pieces on the dirt.
(phone slams)
My heartbeat hasn't slowed.
So Mikaila snuck in a burner phone into my bag
whenever I was gassing up.
She also left this,
some sort of memory card or something to play.
Anyway, cheap scare of the night.
Moving on.
I keep hearing those noises though.
Sounds like footsteps.
I have this theory about pushing the limit of sleeplessness.
It goes like this, when you stay awake longer
then you're used too, your brain being such
a powerful and mysterious thing that it is,
it becomes aware that you're tired.
And the brain being the powerful,
and mysterious thing that it is,
it compensates.
What I've found is it overcompensates,
creating some sort of a heightened creative state.
So I might just stay up writing all night.
Well I, (sighs).
I won't bore you with this.
Hello!
Hello, is anyone there?
(twig snapping) (leaves rustling)
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck. (breathing heavily)
I know it was an animal, I just didn't see it.
It was big, it was...
You always feel like you're being followed in the woods,
you never are.
It's just paranoia in the night.
(sighs)
Nothing's been touched.
A couple of weeks ago I had a dream,
and in this dream I was writing a short story
about this character that was going crazy
because of this dark, shadowy entity
that wouldn't leave him alone.
And I'm laying on my stomach on the sofa,
typing on my laptop, and then I fell asleep.
And that's when it happened.
I woke up to something slowly pulling me,
and the second that I became aware of what it was,
it yanked me off the sofa.
And I flew upright, and I was levitating,
my feet were off the ground, and I was frozen.
And I tried to scream, but the second I tried
the most unbelievably tight grip came around my throat.
And it all went blurry.
And then I woke up.
I woke up in the exact same place I had fallen asleep.
If immersing myself in this terrifying world
can effect me that much, down deep there is a story
waiting to be found.
Kinda scared to fall asleep now.
I was hoping you could keep my company though.
What was it?
My mom used to quote this verse from Joshua something.
"Be strong and courageous.
"Do not be frightened, do not be dismayed,
"for the Lord, your God is with you,
"wherever you go."
Everything's gonna be fine, I know that, I know it.
Everything's fine.
My uncle, he used to say that,
"If you live close enough to people
"where you can't scream at the end of a bad day
"without getting in trouble then you live
"too close to people."
My uncle was a fucking liar.
So, the sun is offensively bright in the morning,
it's like a big old fuck you from nature.
But I survived night two.
Yay.
Being out here I've really gotten to recall
some memories I'm pretty sure I would have forgotten.
Once again it comes back to this idea
that I can't shake, that we're just surrounded
by so much noise, and we don't get the time
to even exercise these great memories.
Anyway, the last couple hours I've been thinking
about some of the funniest stories of my life.
Kinda makes me wish I had journaled more.
I've had too good of a life not too.
One story though,
um it was the first camping trip
that we had ever taken, we went camping,
we went on this drunk hike through the forest.
And we ended up on this gravel road,
not a car, not a sound for miles.
And then all of a sudden, Hunter said it,
he said "Guys, guys, turn off your lights,
"turn off your lights."
So we did, we all ducked down on the gravel road,
we were scared.
And we said "What's up, what's going on?"
He said, "This is life.
"Dark, unsure, uncertain,
"and you can sit here and not become a man,
"or you can walk towards it."
And we all said, "Hunter you've probably drank too much."
But he stood up, and he said "No, no,
"I am seriously, be seriously,
"I am seriously right now."
He said, "This is how I wanna live my life.
"I wanna sprint towards life."
And so he said, "You assholes keep off your flashlights."
And then he sprinted.
He sprinted as fast as he could,
for a long time.
And then we hear it.
Thud, "Ah shit."
(laughs)
He had ran directly off the road and into a tree,
and then fell into a giant pile of thorns.
And the whole time we were walking him back
he just kept saying "That's life, that's life.
"Life is hard."
I know I'm telling that story to nobody right now, but,
any excuse to tell it.
So I just got back to the campsite
and something got into my food.
On top of that, there is a hole in the bottom
of my water jug.
So that's where we're at.
(sighs)
Hey friends, I found the story I wanna write about.
It involves a protagonist who's a little bit lonely.
I don't know, I've always been taught
you write what you feel.
You write what you feel, or you write something
that doesn't mean anything.
And I think honestly, if I can somehow isolate
fear with my protagonist,
I think I'll have the story I'm looking for.
A character with only his own thoughts to believe in,
that's what I'm looking for.
Fuck, I've never been able to get inspired in the daytime.
I always get sidetracked and watch TV.
Well I think that fits my theory about creativity.
It'll come at night, so until then,
I'll just wait.
(distant banging)
I have to see it.
(distant banging) (gasps)
What is it?
(breathing heavily)
(distant banging) What is...
(creature growls) (Clayton yells)
It's the third night,
heard footsteps since about nine o'clock.
They haven't stopped.
I can't leave.
This has to be some sick joke.
At this point I'm just,
I'm, I'm talking just to not hear silence.
Disregard any and all bullshit I speak about okay.
I might tell a story, I might create a story,
I might sing a fucking nursery rhyme.
I don't, I don't know, I might talk even though
I don't know what I'm fucking saying.
I know my sensitivity to noise is heightened out here,
but I heard something.
Hello!
Is anyone there?
(creature growling)
Stop it!
Shit!
(breathing heavily)
Oh my God!
What the fuck was that?
I'm not going back.
I'm not going back I don't care.
I don't care, I'm not going back.
I'm not going back.
At this point I wanna run into somebody.
I wanna know what I'm fucking running from!
I've been walking for two or three hours now.
I...
I haven't seen a road or a house,
or heard a car.
Everything is the same.
(Clayton sobs)
Where am I?
I'm done.
(breathing heavily)
There's a cabin, there's a cabin!
There's a cabin.
(groans)
What the fuck?
What is this place?
Is this a Bible?
(groans)
The creepiest place I have ever seen.
Six chairs in a perfect circle.
(indistinct rumbling)
Is anyone there?
I'm gonna die here.
"Be strong and courageous.
"Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed,
"for the Lord your God is with you where you go."
(wretches)
(groans) (sobs)
(electronic crackling)
Hold me truth.
"In the beginning there was nothing,
"and yet though the savior worshiped it wholly.
"He prayed to nothing, for nothing to return eternally.
"We pursued daily his acceptance,
"and aspire to one day become nothing as he did.
(floorboards creaking)
Yep, I'm back at the campsite.
(laughs)
Why am I here?
Well one time I ate gas station sushi.
Man do I make good decisions.
It's like I run a fucking irresponsibility brothel.
I, I cannot leave.
She knows where I am by GPS, I cannot fucking leave.
If I die, I die.
Everybody does.
Everybody that ever existed before 150 years ago,
they all did it.
It's one, fuck...
It's one of the only things that we have in common,
we're not all white, we're not all black,
we're not all tall, we're not all short.
But we all die.
Somehow that's comforting.
Mikaila, where are you?
There's something here.
I haven't seen it, but there's something here.
(sobs)
I can't leave.
I just have to wait it out.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What should I do Mr. Red Dot?
When I was a little kid, my best friend was a pitch back.
You know the netting that throws the balls back to ya,
his name was Gus.
Gus was such an asshole, he always tried to peg me
with baseballs. (laughs)
That was funny.
Don't just, don't just sit there okay, laugh at me!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I raised my voice.
You're just so passive.
So I am sorry.
Do you accept my apology?
(laughs)
If you're not gonna talk to me then
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
My first word was ball.
I don't even remember when I started playing baseball
but I played it all my life, all through high school.
I was a pitcher, in high school we made it
to the semi-finals.
I'm one pitch away from making it to the finals.
There's a man on second and third, and what do I do?
I throw a fast ball right down the middle,
three run home run.
I know it seems stupid, but in high school
baseball was life.
So the whole rest of the hour and a half
all these people started coming up to me,
telling me what a good job I did, and how lucky
this batter as that he hit a home run.
I just wanted to be alone.
Looking back on that day, right now,
it seems like a utopia.
Best day of my life.
I guess I'll watch this.
It'll at least give me something to do.
- So Clayton we hope you're having an amazing trip,
and I hope you're finding all of the things
you were searching for.
And we decided that after our day of interviews
there was something we wanted to tell you.
- Mikaila's pregnant.
- What no,
I am not pregnant. - With my child.
- Hunter take this seriously.
- Okay.
(sighs)
We love you.
Is that good? - Yeah.
That's it.
That's it, we love you.
And er, I've never met someone as dedicated
to making me laugh as you are.
- Well, I, I wouldn't, don't lie to him,
I mean he tries really hard,
and that's what really counts.
- No it's true, you do, you make me laugh.
- You definitely try, and that is so admirable.
But anyway, (laughs),
we know you can come back with something great.
Um, we know how capable you are, and we hope you do.
Um, but--
- We just want you to come home.
- And to shave your fucking depression beard.
- Hunter. - Yeah.
- And one more thing.
I just want this to be clear, all right,
I would be perfectly happy with you and me
just bullshitting through life
if that was the only way to be us.
I love you.
(Clayton sobs)
- Well it's night four, wish I wasn't here,
wish I could go home.
But I guess if I didn't feel this way
then the experiment would be a failure right?
That has been happening all night.
They're just marching in a giant circle.
They, they never stop, they're never close enough
to be seen, it's fucking cruel.
I'm just, I'm just trying to keep my mind
busy you know.
I'm scared to let my mind become idle because
it might not be mine again.
I was wrong though, about fear.
My new thoughts.
Mr. Red Dot, my new thoughts are that fear
is actually based in the mind.
I mean what is scarier then knowing your sanity
is actually crumbling?
I mean scarier then any monster could ever be
because if you were chased by a monster
at least you can run.
But whenever you are insane you have nothing
to believe in but your own thoughts.
And they're lies.
They're lies, they're not even real.
So you're more then alone.
(distant banging)
The next obvious sound I hear,
I'm gonna sprint straight towards it.
I don't care anymore.
(indistinct rumbling) (groans)
(Clayton laughs)
Where are you?
Stop it! (Clayton sobs)
Why won't... Oh God.
They only want me to finish the story.
I know how.
All the words are blurry.
It's like my eyes won't uncross.
(laughs)
But nothing, nothing is there.
Nothing is there I know that.
But they, they, that's all that they want,
they just want me to finish the story.
And I want too, I just, I don't know...
I don't know if I'm ready.
(laughs)
"Be strong and courageous,
"do not be frightened and do not be dismayed."
(distant banging)
But they wanted me.
They wanted me.
I don't think it would be that bad to die in your sleep.
No anticipation, no fear.
Just the end.
(indistinct rumbling) (gasps)
Shit!
What the fuck?
How did that just...
What is this?
"He who seeks good, will find good will.
"But evil will come to him who searches for it."
I can't speak.
Every time I do they get closer.
(distant rustling) (breathing heavily)
(gasps)
Fuck, what the fuck.
Fuck!
Fuck, Fuck.
Fuck.
I pray I'll die in my sleep tonight.
Where are you?
Mikaila, Mikaila!
I'm sorry dad, I could have learned so much from you.
You're a fucking superhero and I hope you know that.
Mikaila, I'm so sorry Mikaila.
I don't wanna...
My mind is my own.
My mind is my own!
My mind is my own.
Oh my, what the fuck!
No!
Leave me alone, no!
Oh my God.
Just leave me alone!
Here I was trying to write something dark,
but I wasn't embracing it.
But here it is.
I hope they'll be pleased.
My mind is my own, my mind is my own.
My mind is my own.
What happened here today,
what will happen to me tonight,
only those who pursue daily will know.
(screams)
My mind is my own, my mind is my own.
My mind is my only truth.
Only truth, 11:27.
(Clayton sobs)
Where are you?
What do you look like?
Just show yourself.
What do you look like?
Just show yourself.
Show yourself to me!
(tense suspenseful rumbling)
- Clayton!
Clayton!
I looked for you.
- Clayton! - Clayton!
- Clayton, where are you? - Clayton.
- He'd want us to finish it.
Mak, I promise.
We found the cabin.
That he stayed at um,
the third night.
We still didn't find any sign of him.
Your mind is just a fragile place
when you don't have anyone.
It's gonna be okay.
- I want one thing to be said.
He succeeded, he created something.
It wasn't worth it,
but his recordings said something.
He thought his project was about loneliness,
it wasn't.
- Can you say it?
Please.
- It was the first night I ever met him.
He tried to ask me out,
and after many failed attempts
he finally said, "We live in a messed up world,
"full of messed up people.
"So why take the chance and go through it alone?"
I said yes.
I don't wanna say it but
he's gone.
He's gone,
and I was here the whole time.
- But is too much silence a bad thing?
Are the mundane relationships that we keep
the only things weaving us to sanity?
(gentle guitar music)
♪ There you go ♪
♪ You're calling out my name ♪
♪ You say don't be afraid ♪
♪ As if I had a choice to make ♪
♪ So I wait ♪
♪ For days and days and days ♪
♪ Drawing circles around my grave ♪
♪ And still you never show ♪
♪ Where were you, when the world was spinning you, ♪
♪ When the devil came grinning, you ♪
♪ What have you been up too ♪
♪ So I die ♪
♪ Go way up in the sky ♪
♪ Wanna give you a piece of my mind ♪
♪ As I approach your throne ♪
♪ Where were you when the world was spinning, you ♪
♪ When the devil came grinning, you ♪
♪ What have you been up too ♪
(whooshing)